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1、1Restorative Enquiry Restorative Enquiry is the key skill in all restorative conversations, interventions and meetings. Whether someone is upset, angry, confused or afraid, or behaving in ways that you are uncomfortable with, they need an opportunity to put their side of the story and feel heard. If
2、 this opportunity is provided people can often find ways forward for themselves, and feel better about themselves for doing this.Before describing each of the steps in this approach it is important to add that an important skill is to be constantly alert to what you are NOT saying:No judgement No ad
3、vice No reprimands No expression of surprise/shock/anger/disapproval No taking sides No assumption that any side has the monopoly on truth or that you know whats going on!Remember the intention of Restorative Enquiry is to keep the door open to communication and to encourage reflection, ownership an
4、d responsibility. All of the above responses close that door.2Step One - Be curious!Ask something like “Whats happened?”“Whats going on?”Tip One Watch your tone, your facial expression and your body language and where you are at the time.Tone Does it sound suspicious? Disapproving? Shocked? Angry?Tr
5、y and keep it calm, level, quiet sound as if you are genuinely interested and concerned.Facial expression Do you look suspicious? Disapproving? Shocked? Angry?Try and look interested and concerned.Body language Are you towering over the person or on their level? Are you tense? Might you appear threa
6、tening? Check you hands are they clenched or opening? Are your gestures demonstrating respect and concern?Where are you? Can you have this exchange without a crowd or the rest of the group overhearing? Is it a neutral place?Remember if you get this bit wrong people will clam up, get on the defensive
7、, go into denial and possibly react angrily (out of fear). The purpose of your intervention is to encourage dialogue and reflection.3Tip Two Use some simple techniques to encourage the person to talk encouragement, summarising and open questions Why? It will help them to get their thoughts and feeli
8、ngs straightIt will help you to get a clearer picture of what they think is going on.It will help others who may be present, in a more formal meeting for example, understand their experience and their perspective.A) EncouragementUse phrases like “Go on” “ Tell me more” “And then .?”“What next? ” “Af
9、ter that.?” “Hmmmm?” (rising tone in your voice)“.?” (SILENCE your most powerful technique but watch your facial expression and body language so it is a welcoming silence)B) SummaryShort version - simply repeating the last few words they have just said with a rising tone “ So he came towards you?Lon
10、ger version - So youre saying that he , and then Have I got that right?Re-frame try to summarise in a way that captures the strong emotion and the gist without necessarily taking that persons side, or assuming their account is the truth. A string of invectives and an accusation can be summed up by s
11、ayingSo you are very angry because as far as you are concerned (you believe that) he has .(Let bad language go for now it is a symptom of distress and anger and can be dealt with later when they calm down. They may well spontaneously mention it and apologise anyway. If you reprimand they will clam u
12、p again.)4C) Open questions painting the pictureBe careful with this one you could end up sounding like an interrogator! Remember you are not asking to collect evidence, you are asking a) to help them to order their thoughts and think about how they experienced the situation. Talking back through th
13、ings can help them to understand how it all happened, and to feel their side is being heard.b) to help other listeners , including yourself, to understand how the speaker experienced the situation even if you and the other listeners dont agree with their memory of the details.Who eg else was there?W
14、hat .eg else was going on?/part did you play in this?Where.eg were did this happen?When .eg did this happen?How .eg did it get broken?NB “Why?” is rarely a useful question and often gets the answer “Dunno!”See the next page for how to help people understand the underlying reasons for their actions w
15、ithout sounding confrontational or accusatory.5Step Two Be empathic Ask questions likeWhat were you thinking?What were you feeling inside?Peoples interpretation of what they see and hear affects how they feel. How they feel affects how they react. Putting a different interpretation on something can
16、completely change the emotional response, and the subsequent reaction (“Oh, if Id known that I wouldnt have felt so angry).Both questions need to be asked in relation to the same point thinking question first. Be specific, and choose significant points in their story that need teasing out.What were you thinking
