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1、 父亲-鲁彦“父亲已经上了六十岁了。还想作一点事业，积一点钱，给我造起屋子来。 ”一个朋友从北方来，告诉了我这样的话。 他的话使我想起了我的父亲。我的父亲正是和他的父亲完全一样的。 我的父亲曾经为我苦了一生，把我养大，送我进学校，为我造了屋子，买了 几亩地。六十岁那一年，还到汉口去做生意，怕人家嫌他年老，只说五十几岁。 大家都劝他不要出门，他背着包裹走了。 “让我再帮儿子几年！”他只是这样说。 后来屋子被火烧掉了，他还想再做生意，把屋子重造起来。我安慰他说，三年 以后我自己就可积起钱造屋了，还是等一等吧。他答应了。他给我留下了许 多造屋的材料，告诉我这样可以做什么那样可以做什么。他死的以前不久
2、，还对我说： “早一点造起来吧，我可以给你监工。 ” 但是他终于没有看见屋子重造起来就死了。他弥留的时候对我说，一切都满足 了。但是我知道他倘能再活几年我把屋子造起来，是他所最心愿的。我听到 他弥留时的呻吟和叹息，我相信那不是病的痛苦的呻吟和叹息。我知道他还想再活几年， 帮我造起屋子来。 现在我自己已是几个孩子的父亲了。我爱孩子，但我没有前一辈父亲的想法， 帮孩子一直帮到老，帮到死还不足。我赞美前一辈父亲的美德，而自己却不 能跟着他们的步伐走去。 我觉得我的孩子累我，使我受到极大的束缚。我没有对他们的永久的计划，甚 至连最短促的也没有。 “倘使有人要，我愿意把他们送给人家！”我常常这样说，当我
3、厌烦孩子的时候。 唉，和前一辈做父亲的一比，我觉得我们这一辈生命力薄弱得可怜，我们二三十 岁的人比不上六七十岁的前辈, 他们虽然老的老死的死了，但是他们才是 真正活着到现在到将来。 而我们呢，虽然活着，却是早已死了。Father “My dad has been in his 60, but he still wants to take jobs to earn money so that he can pay for my house.” A friend from the north said to me.What he said reminds me of my dad. The tho
4、ughts of my dad are exactly the same as his.My dad had a tough life. He raised me and paid for my school tuition, what is more he bought a few acre of land in order to build a house for me. At his 60, he decided to travel to Hankou to do business. Being afraid of that others might find him too old,
5、he told them he was just 50. We all asked him to stay, instead he just packed and left.“Let me do things for our son for the last couple years!” He said when left.Later, our house got burnt. My dad still wanted to do business and earn enough money to rebuild the house. I comforted him that we can ju
6、st wait three years and I will earn enough money to rebuild it. He agreed and left me many materials for the house, telling me how these materials should be used in rebuilding the house. Before he dead, he kept telling me, ”I can still be the supervisor if you build it earlier.”However, my dad didnt
7、 make it until the house was built. He told me he was content with everything in last days he spent with me. But I knew it would his greatest wish if he could live a few more years until the house was built. I believed the sigh and groan were not about the sickness he was suffering but the regret th
8、at he could not live long enough to help build the house.And now I have been a father of several children. I love my children. But I am not going to help them until, even after, the last minute of my life like my father did. I appreciate the virtue of my father, but I am not going to follow his step
9、s.I think the needing of my children bring me huge constraint. I dont have a permanent plan for them, not even a temporary one.“I would be pleased to give them away, if someone may ask.” I will say this every time I was annoyed with my children.Comparing with the fathers of our generation, the vitality of us, in our 20 and 30, is much more fragile than those fathers in their 50 and 60. Although they were faded by time and age, they truly live in now and ever. However, we are still breathing, but we have been dead.
