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1、概要写作示例与写作训练8【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。No one would be willing to pay one-third of the price for the packaging or wrapping of what he or she purchases. But over-packaging has become a disease that leads to a massive waste of resources and contributes to environmental pollution in China.Be
2、hind this disease are some appalling figures. The wasted packaging materials are estimated to be worth about 280 billion yuan annually. And such packages and wrappings thrown away by customers make up half of the volume of solid waste in cities. And its percentage has been increasing. If the cost fo
3、r treating the solid waste is included, the money that has been wasted on over-packaging should be much higher.To produce paper packagings or wrappings, many more trees have to be cut down. But the packagings will then be thrown away by consumers. The same is true with plastic wrappings. Over-packag
4、ing also damage the interest of consumers when they have to spend quite a high percentage on something that they will have to throw into the dustbin. Product packaging and wrapping used to be very simple 30 years ago. Moon cakes were wrapped just in papers with a piece of red paper on top as tradema
5、rk. Shabby was the word many had used to criticize the way Chinese products were packaged. And shabby packaging was condemned for making Chinese products unattractive in the international market.It is reasonable to pay enough attention to packaging or wrapping products in such a manner that they can
6、 be appealing to customers eyes. But that does not definitely justify that packaging should even outshine what is inside.In the Chinese proverb, maidu huanzhu, the buyer returns the pearl and just keeps the case because the latter is too fancy and luxurious. The message from the proverb is that over
7、-packaging helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality- to buy fancy-looking stuff but not what they really need. This is also against the principle of frugality and sustainable development.【思维路径】核心内容 本文是一篇议论文，全文共有六段。第一段提出了一个问题，即在中国，过度包装(over-packaging)已经造成了消费者多余的开支以及给环境带来了大量的废物污染。第二段则用数字进行了说明过
8、度包装造成的巨大的财力损失及固体污染。第三段告诉我们为了生产更多的包装纸，我们不得不砍伐更多的树木。第四段回顾了过度包装的历史缘由。第五段则表明了作者的态度，即包装不能掩盖货物本身的价值。第六段中，作者借“买椟还珠”这个成语告诉我们，过度包装助长了不健康的消费理念，即只重货物外表，不在乎货物本身的价值。写作思路(1)抓住文章论点，理清论证关系。原文为议论文，第一段就提出了文章的论点，然后第二、三两端是进一步通过数据等事实论证第一段中提出的要点。第四段引出历史事实，进一步深入分析问题的起源。第五、六两段又进一步通过辩证分析的方式，表明作者的立场和态度。(2)研读文中信息，灵活处理论据。论据是让论
9、点使人更易接受的支持性的事实材料。原文的第二、三两段就是通过数据进行摆事实、讲道理。而原文第四与第六段又引出历史与文化传统里面关于“包装”问题的看法。因而，在缩写的时候，我们就需要对论据进行适当的安排与处理：既要注重数据事实，又要照顾到“历史事件”在论证中所起的作用。(3)确立文章主题，合理安排结构。原文第一段话首先表明了文章的中心论点,即“Over-packaging has become a disease that leads to a massive waste of resources and contributes to environmental pollution in Chi
10、na”(要点1)；第二段用数据证明事实证明了文章的中心，即“Over-packaging has waste too much money on the packages and on the treatment of the solid waste” (要点2)；第三段又进一步指出了过度包装的另一个危害，即“To produce paper packagings or wrappings, many more trees have to be cut down” (要点3)；第四段回顾了人们之所以要过度包装的历史原因，即“Shabby packaging was condemned for
11、making Chinese products unattractive in the international market” (要点4)；第五段表达了作者对过度包装的态度，即“Packaging should not outshine what is inside” (要点5)；在第六段中，作者借“买椟还珠”这个成语故事，表明了文章的结论，即“Over-packaging helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality” (要点6)。通过以上分析，我们可以发现原文的论述结构：提出论点(要点1)-论据论证(要点2、3)-回顾历史(要点4)-
12、表明态度(要点5)-得出结论(要点6)。那么在缩写的时候，我们就必须首先确定采取何种表达顺序，完成对原文中心的表述。参考范文 Shabby packaging was once criticized for making Chinese products unattractive in the international market(要点4), but now over-packaging has caused an increase of environmental pollution(要点1), let alone a huge waste of money on the package
13、s and the treatment of the solid waste(要点2), and many more trees being cut down for the packages(要点3). Besides, over-packaging helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality(要点6). So, please remember that packaging should not outshine what is inside(要点5).(75 words)范文解析 范文把要点4放在缩写的开头，首先交代了过度包装的历史缘由
14、，然后整合要点1，从而引出本文的中心论点。之后，范文的第一句又用一个衔接词let alone把作为分论点(论据)的要点2、3也整合在一个句子里面，这样就使得表述更加紧凑。然后，范文又把作为结论的要点6作为另一个论述的核心，并且用衔接词besides实现了与前文的连贯一致的表达。范文最后用so引出作者对过度包装的态度(要点5)，并结束了文章的缩写。这种安排显得自然而又流畅。提炼归纳 1、关注对论述中心的提炼。议论文一般会在行文中表现出极强的观点或、态度或个人倾向，所以在通读全文的过程中，需要首先抓住文章的中心论点、论据以及各个部分之间的层次关系。同时，也必须关注作者的论述方法及写作特点。2、强调
15、论述的连贯一致性。由于议论文中有鲜明的观点或个人倾向性的表达，而且有时作者的写作又不一定是按照常规的方法进行，因而在缩写的时候，我们就需要分清事实、论据与论点，以及各个部分之间的逻辑关系，从而实现意义表达的连贯性。例如，范文对要点4与要点5的处理就是处于对表述时的意义连贯的考虑。【写作演练】1.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Diet Coke, diet Pepsi, diet pills, no-fat diet, vegetable dict.We are surrounded by the word diet everywhere we look and liste
16、n. We have so easily been attracted by the promise and potential of diet products that we have stopped thinking about what diet products are doing to us. We are paying for products that harm us psychologically and physically.Diet products significantly weaken us psychologically. On one level, influenced by diet products, people tend to watch their weight rather than their diet. Diet products make us Jump
