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1、So, Ill start with this: a couple years ago, an event planner called me because I was going to do a speaking event. And she called, and she said, Im really struggling with how to write about you on the little flyer. And I thought, Well, whats the struggle? And she said, Well, I saw you speak, and Im
2、 going to call you a researcher, I think, but Im afraid if I call you a researcher, no one will come, because theyll think youre boring and irrelevant. (Laughter) And I was like, Okay. And she said, But the thing I liked about your talk is youre a storyteller. So I think what Ill do is just call you
3、 a storyteller. And of course, the academic, insecure part of me was like, Youre going to call me a what? And she said, Im going to call you a storyteller. And I was like, Why not magic pixie? (Laughter) I was like, Let me think about this for a second. I tried to call deep on my courage. And I thou
4、ght, you know, I am a storyteller. Im a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; thats what I do. And maybe stories are just data with a soul. And maybe Im just a storyteller. And so I said, You know what? Why dont you just say Im a researcher-storyteller. And she went, Ha ha. Theres no such thing
5、. (Laughter) So Im a researcher-storyteller, and Im going to talk to you today - were talking about expanding perception - and so I want to talk to you and tell some stories about a piece of my research that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way that I live and lov
6、e and work and parent.那我就这么开始吧：几年前，一个活动策划人打电话给我，因为我当时要做一个演讲。她在电话里说：“我真很苦恼该如何在宣传单上介绍你。”我心想，怎么会苦恼呢？她继续道：“你看，我听过你的演讲，我觉得我可以称你为研究者，可我担心的是，如果我这么称呼你，没人会来听，因为大家普遍认为研究员很无趣而且脱离现实。”（笑声）好。然后她说：“但是我喜欢你的演讲，就跟讲故事一样很吸引人。我想来想去，还是觉得称你为讲故事的人比较妥当。”而那个做学术的，感到不安的我脱口而出道：“你要叫我什么？”她说：“我要称你为讲故事的人。我心想：”为什么不干脆叫魔法小精灵？“（笑声）我说：”
7、让我考虑一下。“我试着鼓起勇气。我对自己说，我是一个讲故事的人。我是一个从事定性研究的科研人员。我收集故事；这就是我的工作。或许故事就是有灵魂的数据。或许我就是一个讲故事的人。于是我说：”听着，要不你就称我为做研究兼讲故事的人。“她说：”哈哈，没这么个说法呀。“（笑声）所以我是个做研究兼讲故事的人，我今天想跟大家谈论的-我们要谈论的话题是关于拓展认知-我想给你们讲几个故事是关于我的一份研究的，这份研究从本质上拓宽了我个人的认知，也确确实实改变了我生活、爱、工作还有教育孩子的方式。And this is where my story starts. When I was a young rese
8、archer, doctoral student, my first year I had a research professor who said to us, Heres the thing, if you cannot measure it, it does not exist. And I thought he was just sweet-talking me. I was like, Really? and he was like, Absolutely. And so you have to understand that I have a bachelors in socia
9、l work, a masters in social work, and I was getting my Ph.D. in social work, so my entire academic career was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the lifes messy, love it. And Im more of the, lifes messy, clean it up, organize it and put it into a bento box. (Laughter) And so to think that
10、I had found my way, to found a career that takes me - really, one of the big sayings in social work is, Lean into the discomfort of the work. And Im like, knock discomfort upside the head and move it over and get all As. That was my mantra. So I was very excited about this. And so I thought, you kno
11、w what, this is the career for me, because I am interested in some messy topics. But I want to be able to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.我的故事从这里开始。当我还是个年轻的博士研究生的时候，第一年，有位研究教授对我们说：”事实是这样的，如
12、果有一个东西你无法测量，那么它就不存在。“我心想他只是在哄哄我们这些小孩子吧。我说：“真的么？”他说：“当然。”你得知道我有一个社会工作的学士文凭，一个社会工作的硕士文凭，我在读的是一个社会工作的博士文凭，所以我整个学术生涯都被人所包围，他们大抵相信生活是一团乱麻，接受它。而我的观点则倾向于，生活是一团乱麻，解开它，把它整理好，再归类放入便当盒里。（笑声）我觉得我领悟到了关键，有能力去创一番事业，让自己-真的，社会工作的一个重要理念是置身于工作的不适中。我就是要把这不适翻个底朝天每科都拿到A。这就是我当时的信条。我当时真的是跃跃欲试。我想这就是我要的职业生涯，因为我对乱成一团，难以处理的课题感
13、兴趣。我想要把它们弄清楚。我想要理解它们。我想侵入那些我知道是重要的东西把它们摸透，然后用浅显易懂的方式呈献给每一个人。So where I started was with connection. Because, by the time youre a social worker for 10 years, what you realize is that connection is why were here. Its what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. This is what its all about. It doesnt ma
14、tter whether you talk to people who work in social justice, mental health and abuse and neglect, what we know is that connection, the ability to feel connected, is - neurobiologically thats how were wired - its why were here. So I thought, you know what, Im going to start with connection. Well, you
15、know that situation where you get an evaluation from your boss, and she tells you 37 things you do really awesome, and one opportunity for growth? (Laughter) And all you can think about is that opportunity for growth, right? Well, apparently this is the way my work went as well, because, when you as
16、k people about love, they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask people about belonging, theyll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection.所以我的起点是“关系”。因为当你从事了10年的社会工作，你必然会发现关系是我们活着的原因。它赋予了我们生命的意义。就是这么简单。无论你跟谁交流工作在社会执法领域的也好，负责精神健康、虐待和疏于看管领域的也好我们所知道的是，关系是种感应的能力-生物神经上，我们是这么被设定的-这就是为什么我们在这儿。
