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1、When I was in my 20s, I saw my very first psychotherapy client. I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology at Berkeley. She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex. 记得见我第一位心理咨询顾客时，我才20多岁。当时我是Berkeley临床心理学在读博士生。我的第一位顾客是名叫Alex的女性，26岁。 Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy
2、 top, and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy problems. Now when I heard this, I was so relieved. My classmate got an arsonist for her first client. (Laughter) And I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I t
3、hought I could handle. 第一次见面Alex穿着牛仔裤和宽松上衣走进来，她一下子栽进我办公室的沙发上，踢掉脚上的平底鞋，跟我说她想谈谈男生的问题。当时我听到这个之后松了一口气。因为我同学的第一个顾客是纵火犯，而我的顾客却是一个20出头想谈谈男生的女孩。我觉得我可以搞定。 But I didnt handle it. With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session, it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the ro
4、ad. 但是我没有搞定。Alex不断地讲有趣的事情，而我只能简单地点头认同她所说的，很自然地就陷入了附和的状态。 Thirtys the new 20, Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time. Alex说：“30岁是一个新的
5、20岁”。没错，我告诉她“你是对的”。工作还早，结婚还早，生孩子还早，甚至死亡也早着呢。像Alex和我这样20多岁的人，什么都没有但时间多的是。 But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, Sure, shes dating down, shes sleeping with a knucklehead, but its not like shes going to marry the guy. And then my supervisor sa
6、id, Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alexs marriage is before she has one.但不久之后，我的导师就要我向Alex的感情生活施压。我反驳说：“当然她现在正在和别人交往，她现在和一个傻瓜男生睡觉，但看样子她不会和他结婚的。” 而我的导师说：“不着急，她也许会和下一个结婚。但修复Alex婚姻的最好时期是她还没拥有婚姻的时期。”Thats what psychologists call an Aha! moment. That was the
7、moment I realized, 30 is not the new 20. Yes, people settle down later than they used to, but that didnt make Alexs 20s a developmental downtime. 这就是心理学家说的“顿悟时刻”。正是那个时候我意识到，30岁不是一个新的20岁。的确，和以前的人相比，现在人们更晚才安定下来，但是这不代表Alex就能长期处于20多岁的状态。 That made Alexs 20s a developmental sweet spot, and we were sittin
8、g there blowing it. That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem, and it had real consequences, not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.更晚安定下来，应该使Alex的20多岁成为发展的黄金时段，而我们却坐在那里忽视这个发展的时机。从那时起我
9、意识到这种善意的忽视确实是个问题，它不仅给Alex本身和她的感情生活带来不良后果，而且影响到处20多岁的人的事业、家庭和未来。 There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now. Were talking about 15 percent of the population, or 100 percent if you consider that no ones getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.现在在美国，20多
10、岁的人有五千万，也就是15%的人口，或者可以说所有人口，因为所有成年人都要经历他们的20多岁。 Raise your hand if youre in your 20s. I really want to see some twentysomethings here. Oh, yay! Yalls awesome. If you work with twentysomethings, you love a twentysomething, youre losing sleep over twentysomethings, I want to see Okay. Awesome, twentys
11、omethings really matter.如果你现在20多岁，请举手。我很想看到有20多岁的人在这里。哦，很好。如果你和20多岁的人一起工作，你喜欢20多岁的人，你因为20多岁的人辗转难眠，我想看到你们。很棒，看来20多岁的人确实很受重视。 So I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists
12、 and fertility specialists already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work, for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world.因此我专门研究20多岁的人，因为我坚信这五千万的20多岁的人，每一个人都应该去了解那些心理学家、社会学家、神经学家和生育专家已经知道的事实：你的20多岁是极简单却极具变化的时期之一。你20多岁的时光决定了你的
13、事业、爱情、幸福甚至整个世界。 This is not my opinion. These are the facts. We know that 80 percent of lifes most defining moments take place by age 35. That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and Aha! moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.这不是我的看法。这些是事实。
14、我们知道80%决定你生活的时刻发生在35岁之前。这就意味着你生活的重要决定、经历和突然的领悟，有八成是在你30多岁之前发生的。 People who are over 40, dont panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think. We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money youre going to earn. We know that more than half of Americans are marri
15、ed or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.那些超过40岁的朋友不要惊慌，我想这群人会没事的。我们知道职业生涯的前10年对你将来的收入有重大影响。我们知道到了30岁的时候，超过半数的美国人会结婚或者和未来的另一半同居或者约会。 We know that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood, which means that whatever it is you
16、want to change about yourself, now is the time to change it. We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life, and we know that female fertility peaks at age 28, and things get tricky after age 35. 我们知道人在20多岁的时候大脑停止第二次也是最后一次重组，以适应成年世界的快速发育阶段。这就意味着不管你想怎样改变自己，现在就是时间改变了。我们知道在20多岁的时候，性格的改变多于生命中任何时期。我们也知道女性的最佳生
