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1、帮学生从书面表达中争取点分数 扬州中学 叶宁庆,错在哪里？ 如何应对？ 动态预测！,错在哪里？ 1审题不仔细，遗漏要点 2过渡不自然，单纯翻译 3. 逻辑不恰当，有悖常理 4表达不丰富，结构单调 5语言不地道，汉式思维 6用词不贴切，缺乏积累 7语法不正确，错误不断 8书写不规范，多词少词,1审题不仔细，遗漏要点例如：假设你是李华，在美国探亲。2000年2月8日清晨，你目击一起交通事故。警察局让你写一份材料，报告当时所见情况。请根据下列图画写出报告。 注意：1目击者应该准确报告事实；2词数100左右； 3结尾已为你写好。,下面的文章中遗漏了什么？It was 7 : 15 on the mor
2、ning of February 8, 2000. I was walking along Park Road towards the east when an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street. Then I saw a car drive up Third Street and make a right turn into Park Road. The next moment the car hit the man while he was crossing the road. He fell
3、with a cry. The car didnt stop but drove off at great speed heading west. About two minutes later I stopped a passing car and took the old man to the nearest hospital.Li Hua,评分提示： 覆盖所有内容要点（21一25分） 虽漏掉1、2个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容（16一20分） 虽漏掉一些内容，但覆盖所有主要内容（11一15分） 漏掉或未描述清楚一些主要内容，写了一些无关内容（6一10分） 明显遗漏主要内容，写了一些无关内容
4、，原因可能是未理解试题要求 （1一5分）,本题图文结合，审题时要重视细节。 明确完成本题的最终结果是写出一篇目击者的报告，用第一人称写； 认真审图，确认全部信息要点： 图中的环境条件；人物位置（此点对完成本题十分重要）；人物活动；人物表情；空间结构；图中的全部附加文字（英语和汉语）。 确定内容要点： 时间：2000年2月8日早晨7点15分； 地点：公园路公园门前； 我正沿公园路向东走； 一辆汽车从第3街向右拐，驶入公园路时撞倒了一位过街的老人； 汽车未停，沿公园路向西开走； 汽车是黄色的，车牌号是AC864，司机是一位女性。,One Possible version:It was 7 : 15
5、 on the morning of February 8, 2000. I was walking along Park Road towards the east when an elderly man came out of the park on the other side of the street. Then I saw a yellow car drive up Third Street and make a right turn into Park Road. The next moment the car hit the man while he was crossing
6、the road. He fell with a cry. The car didnt stop but drove off at great speed heading west. I noticed the driver was a young woman and the plate number was AC864. About two minutes later I stopped a passing car and took the old man to the nearest hospital.Li Hua,完全背离了题目要求。有一篇书面表达要求学生以一位美籍华人的身份描述中国妇女
7、地位的变化，用第一人称写。有学生写道： When I was young, I had no job. All I could do was to stay at home to do the housework.这位学生用了第一人称，但是，他是以一个中国妇女的身份写作的，与题目要求不一致。,2过渡不自然，单纯翻译例如：有一篇书面表达要求学生叙述国庆节去北京动物园的情况。有位学生写道：Today is National Day. Li Ming and I went to Beijing Zoo. We took the No. 15 bus. We got there ten minutes
8、 later. There were many people in the zoo. Most of them were children. In the zoo, we saw elephants. We saw bears. We saw lions. At 12 oclock, we went back home. We had a wonderful day today. We felt tired. We felt happy.这位学生把该表达的内容都写出来了，而且没有句子结构方面的错误，但是，他写的不是一篇短文，而是孤零零的句子。,评分提示： 有效地使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结
9、构紧凑（21一25分） 应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文结构紧凑（16一20分） 应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文内容连贯（11一15分） 较少使用语句间的连接成分，内容缺少连贯性（6一10分） 缺乏语句间的连接成分，内容不连贯 （1一5分）,有效地运用连接词，使上下文连贯流畅。Today is National Day. Li Ming and I went to Beijing Zoo. We took the No. 15 bus and ten minutes later we got there. There were many people in the zoo, most of
10、whom were children. In the zoo, we saw many kinds of animals, such as elephants, bears and lions. At 12 oclock, we went back home. What a wonderful day we had today. Although we were tired， we felt very happy.,3. 逻辑不恰当，有悖常理,PollutionA chemical factory lies near my home. It gave out lots of smoke, wh
11、ich harmed peoples health, but the manager paid no attention. Then the factory was forced to stop production and the manager said angrily, “Is there any evidence to show that we did harm to peoples health? In fact, we havent.” Just then, a doctor came, with the result of the medical exam, saying the
12、 manager was suffering a lung cancer. It is very clear that the pollution has harmed not only people around the factory but also the manager himself. The manager was criticized by the government. Now he has realized the importance of keeping the air clean.,PollutionA chemical factory lies near my ho
13、me. The manager was criticized by the government because the factory gave out lots of harmful smoke every day, but he paid no attention. Then the factory was forced to stop production and the manager said angrily, “Is there any evidence to show that we did harm to peoples health? In fact, we havent.
14、” Just then, a doctor came, with the result of the medical exam, saying the manager was suffering a lung cancer. It is very clear that the pollution has harmed not only the people around the factory but also the manager himself. The manager regretted having caused so much pollution. Now he has reali
15、zed the importance of keeping the air clean.,4表达不丰富，结构单调 有的考生怕犯语法错误，一味地使用简单句。 例如： The entrance fees are charged. People will not come. Walls and gates should be built. They will not make the city look bad.,评分提示： 应用了较多的语法结构和词汇（21一25分） 应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求（16一20分） 应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求（11一15分） 语法结构单调、词汇项目有
16、限（6一10分） 语法结构单调、词汇项目有限（1一5分）,短语、从句使短文更富有表现力。Charging entrance fees will no doubt keep some people away. What is more，it will become necessary to build gates and walls，which will do harm to the appearance of a city.,5语言不地道，汉式思维 例如：2002年给英文报纸写信。 原本应写I am writing to tell you about the discussion weve just had about whether an entrance fee should be charged for parks. 但不少同学都写成I want to tell you about the discussion weve had about whether an entrance fee should be charged for parks. 就I wan to tell you而言，本身没有错，但用在此处就不符合英语习惯了。,
