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1、Unhelpful thinking patternsMany problems can be caused by distorted thinking. We tend to assume that our thinking is correct, but especially when stressed or low (depressed) we tend to think in a very unhelpful, negative and distorted way.In addition, sometimes we have been thinking along these line
2、s for so many years (often from childhood) that the thoughts have become automatic we are no longer conscious of the thought process at all.How we think How we feelIn fact how we think is a key factor in how we feel. This is such an important statement that I am going to say it again: How we think i
3、s a key factor in how we feel.Lets take an example. Mike and Jim have collaborated in a project. They are presenting the results of their work in a business meeting. They are given an intense questioning by their managers, who make several criticisms and suggestions.As they leave the meeting, Mike t
4、hinks, Ive been torn to pieces. I did such a rubbish job. Why am I so useless? As a result of this, he feels very undermined and low about himself. This also has an impact on the quality of his work over the next month.Jim leaves the same meeting thinking, Theyve been pretty challenging, but thats q
5、uite helpful. I can see where we can improve our methods. And they gave some positive feedback too. I wish we had done x and y, but at least we know how best to tackle the next phase of the project. As a result of their different thinking styles, who will feel better after the meeting? And how will
6、this impact on their self-esteem and their work?Another exampleAnya and Sarah are stuck in the same carriage of an underground train when it stops for a minute in a tunnel. There is no announcement and the lights keep flickering. Anya says to herself, This is odd, but trains often stop through techn
7、ical faults or to let another train pass. Just dont worry and keep breathing calmly. Sarah thinks, Help, were stuck here and theres no way out. What if theres a terrorist attack? I cant stand this! Her heart rate rockets and she starts to feel a panic attack coming.As a result of their different thi
8、nking styles, who will feel better when the train starts moving again? And how will this impact on their sense of self and how safe the world is?Note that in both of these examples, each person is presented with exactly the same situation as the other. So it is not the situation that causes us to fe
9、el certain things it is the way we interpret that situation. In other words, our thinking skills.Thinking errors and how to challenge themRemember that you are in charge of your thoughts and images. If thinking in a certain way results in negative feelings or unhelpful actions, then start taking con
10、trol by altering your thoughts. Thinking in a more realistic and helpful way always leads to more positive feelings and outcomes in our lives. This is a central plank in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).Here is a list of the most common thinking patterns to watch out for and challenge. Identify w
11、hich ones you use. Then work with your counsellor or therapist to notice and challenge this self-defeating thinking. NameDescriptionEffectChallenge it! Black and white thinkingAll or nothing thinking we think of people, events or situations in extremes, e.g. I must get it right or Im a complete fail
12、ure, Shes wonderful and Im useless. There are no shades of grey.Extreme thinking leads to extreme emotions often negative feelings, as we usually put ourselves on the negative end of the spectrum.Ask yourself if the language you use really reflects reality. Think of a wide range of responses a scale
13、 from black at one end to white at the other rather than in terms of extremes. CatastrophisingWhen we expect disaster, such as What if I lose my job? or If I dont do x it will be the end of the world. Events and their significance are blown out of all proportion in a negative way. Expecting disaster
14、 makes us feel anxious and stressed. We are gloomy and doom-laden.What is the evidence that the worst will happen? Has it always happened in the past? A balanced assessment of the risks is always more helpful. FilteringPlaying down our own skills or qualities, or anything good that happens. Instead
15、we focus on, or remember, only the negative, eg Im always hopeless at interviews when in fact several have been successful.Constantly discounting the positive skews your sense of the world, and of yourself. Carrying an over-negative image with you is very damaging.Think of occasions when things have
16、 happened differently. Make a conscious effort to accept praise and note when you have achieved things or taken control. PersonalisationBlaming ourselves unfairly or imagining that other peoples actions are reactions to us, eg if someone is in a bad mood its because we have upset them.You will develop a negative self- image and become unnecessarily defensive and sensitive around other peop
