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1、10 Types of Posts on Facebook that Make Me Want to Vomit10 种恶心到吐的朋友圈状态（译者注：为便于大家感同身受，翻译时将 Facebook 对应成了时下正火的微信朋友圈）1. Declarations of love that dont ever need to declared: “I love my daughter sooo much.”没必要的爱的宣告：“我好爱我的女儿啊。”Analysis: They feel the need to convince someone like themselves, or perhaps f
2、elt a pang of love and instead of telling the beloved, they felt the whole world should be in on it. Once, a friend of mine posted, “I hate my kid. Sorry to offend you, but hes a little bastard and Im sick of him.” Obviously it was a joke, but 141 people felt the need to tell him what a bad parent h
3、e was.分析：这些人是不是觉得非得让别人知道自己有多喜欢谁，他们可能觉得坚守这份爱有些苦闷，你倒是告诉你爱的人啊，满世界嚷嚷算什么意思啊？有一次我的朋友发了这样一篇：“我讨厌我孩子，如果让你不爽我很抱歉，但他真的是个小混蛋，我太讨厌他了。”很明显他开个玩笑罢了，不过 141 个家伙在下面留言说他实在是个不称职的父亲 2. Mundane details about their day appearing as milestones: “Going to dinner and a movie!”普普通通的生活细节，非要当成里程碑一样的大事：“去吃了晚饭，还看了电影！”Analysis: A
4、very boring life.分析：这样的日子真无聊。 3. Giving details about health along with emoticon to verify feelings about it: “Feeling sick today 发身体情况的细节，还要加个表情符号证实自己说的没错：“今天感觉病怏怏的:(”Analysis: Bored, and too stupid to just play Words with Friends.分析：这人也被无聊逼的，和朋友玩文字游戏你都不够格，你这个蠢货。4. Emotional rant directed at no one
5、 in particular, but so specific that everyone knows theyve been screwed over: “Never trust people who tell you they will pick you up at 6 just to make you wait an hour. Some people will never be mature enough to be in a relationship, so maybe they should be dumped.”情绪激动的怒骂，看似不针对某人，其实大家都知道他俩完了：“永远别相信
6、一个说 6 点钟来接你，结果让你苦等了 1 个小时的家伙。有些人永远不知道恋爱里什么才叫成熟，也许他们活该被甩。”Analysis: Well, they cant really give the persons name or address them directly. That would be too honest.分析：咳，这人就是不指名道姓，也不当着对方的面直接说。那样有点儿太过诚实了。5. Pictures of mundane plates of food in front of them.一盘摆在面前普普通通的菜 Analysis: Im eating. You have t
7、o see what Im eating! Well, maybe it looked better at the restaurant.分析：“我在吃饭哒，你要看我在吃婶 Mua!”没准餐馆里的真货要比你拍的还好看些。6. Persuasive proclamations of life being good: “Im loving life right now.”生活很美好之类的感人宣告：“我爱当下的生活。”Analysis: Life is not good.分析：日子过得不好才会这么说。 7. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel bl
8、essed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”对神的感人告白：“能过得这么好都是有您的庇佑，我的一切都归于上帝。若将上帝作为你唯一救星，你将永远不会悲哀。”Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.分析：如果你信宗教就多花点时间去教堂，花少点时间在 Facebook 上。8.
9、Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldnt get back in my car. Hahaha.”憋个段子写些稀松平常的事情：“停车加油，又等了一个小时拿到处方。结果发现我把车钥匙丢了，现在车也进不去。哈哈哈。”Analysis: “Its funny, right? Please say its funny.
10、”分析：“好笑吗，嗯？请你告诉我哪好笑。” 9. Political rants about random things: “Why should churches have to pay for abortions? Obama is a terrible president and a terrorist.”不管什么都扯上政治：“为什么教会要为流产买单？奥巴马作为总统烂透了，简直是恐怖分子。”Analysis: I dont know. I hate politics.分析：其实我什么都不懂，我只是讨厌政治。 10. Unusual excitement about seeing someone: “OMG I cant wait to see Lesley and Jaime and Kelly!”见到人特别兴奋：“OMG，我迫不及待要见到 Lesley、还有 Jaime 还有 Kelly！”Analysis: Superficiality is the drug of the overabundancy.分析：肤浅是治疗精力过剩的良药。
