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1、TED英语演讲：幸福的人为什么会出轨幸福的人为什么会出轨?人们说起不忠，真正是指什么?为什么人们会认为男人出轨都是出于厌倦和对紧密关系的恐惧，而女人出轨则是出于寂寞和对亲密关系的渴求呢?对于出轨人的建议是什么?下面是我为大家收集关于TED英语演讲：幸福的人为什么会出轨，欢迎借鉴参考。幸福的人为什么会出轨Why do we cheat? And why do happy people cheat? And when we say "infidelity," what exactly do we mean? Is it a hookup, a love story, paid
2、sex, a chat room, a massage with a happy ending? Why do we think that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy, but women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy? And is an affair always the end of a relationship?我们为何出轨? 为何幸福之人也会出轨? 我们所谓的“不忠”到底指的是什么? 是一夜情?爱情故事? 有偿服务?私聊? 还是特殊按摩服务? 为什么我们认
3、为男人出轨 是因为寻求刺激或是害怕亲密关系， 而女人出轨是因为孤独 或是渴求亲密关系? 婚外情是不是意味着婚姻已走到尽头?For the past 10 years, I have traveled the globe and worked extensively with hundreds of couples who have been shattered by infidelity. There is one simple act of transgression that can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness a
4、nd their very identity: an affair. And yet, this extremely common act is so poorly understood. So this talk is for anyone who has ever loved.在过去十年间，我走遍世界 走访了数百对夫妻， 他们都因出轨而心力交瘁。 婚外情毫无疑问是一种越轨行为， 它离间夫妻关系， 破坏家庭幸福，衍生信任危机。 然而，我们对这一普遍现象的 理解却极其有限。 因此我将这次演讲 献给所有经历过爱情的人。Adultery has existed since marriage was
5、 invented, and so, too, the taboo against it. In fact, infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy, so much so, that this is the only commandment that is repeated twice in the Bible: once for doing it, and once just for thinking about it. (Laughter) So how do we reconcile what is universal
6、ly forbidden, yet universally practiced?婚外情自婚姻诞生之日起就存在了， 我们对婚外情的反对亦是如此。 实际上，婚外情比婚姻顽强多了， 婚姻只有嫉妒的份儿， 以至于它成为了圣经的戒律， 并且重复出现两次： 一次是不准做， 另一次是连想都不准想。 (笑声) 那我们究竟如何处理出轨， 这一屡禁不止的现象呢?Now, throughout history, men practically had a license to cheat with little consequence, and supported by a host of biological a
7、nd evolutionary theories that justified their need to roam, so the double standard is as old as adultery itself. But who knows whats really going on under the sheets there, right? Because when it comes to sex, the pressure for men is to boast and to exaggerate, but the pressure for women is to hide,
8、 minimize and deny, which isnt surprising when you consider that there are still nine countries where women can be killed for straying.自古以来，男人出轨是被允许的， 几乎不用承担什么后果， 甚至还有生物理论和进化理论 来为他们撑腰， 这一双重标准自婚外情 诞生之日起就存在了。 但在床上到底发生了什么， 其实谁也不清楚，对吧? 因为一谈到性， 男人可以夸夸奇谈，自吹自擂， 而女人却要遮遮掩掩。 难以置信的是， 如今仍有9个国家的女性会因出轨而被处死。Now, m
9、onogamy used to be one person for life. Today, monogamy is one person at a time. (Laughter) (Applause)I mean, many of you probably have said, "I am monogamous in all my relationships." (Laughter)We used to marry, and had sex for the first time. But now we marry, and we stop having sex with
10、 others. The fact is that monogamy had nothing to do with love. Men relied on womens fidelity in order to know whose children these are, and who gets the cows when I die.一夫一妻制， 曾经指的是“一辈子一个”，而现在指的是“每次一个”。(笑声)(掌声)我想，在座有很多人可能说过，“我在每段关系里都遵守一夫一妻制”。(笑声)过去我们先结婚，再初尝禁果。 而现在，我们先结婚，然后停止与别人发生关系。实际上一夫一妻制已经与爱情无关。
11、男人根据女人是否忠诚，来判断孩子是不是自己的，进而决定遗产归谁。Now, everyone wants to know what percentage of people cheat. Ive been asked that question since I arrived at this conference. (Laughter) It applies to you. But the definition of infidelity keeps on expanding: sexting, watching porn, staying secretly active on dating a
12、pps. So because there is no universally agreed-upon definition of what even constitutes an infidelity, estimates vary widely, from 26 percent to 75 percent. But on top of it, we are walking contradictions. So 95 percent of us will say that it is terribly wrong for our partner to lie about having an
13、affair, but just about the same amount of us will say that thats exactly what we would do if we were having one. (Laughter)大家都想知道， 出轨的人到底占多少百分比。 从我到达现场， 就不停有人问这个问题。 (笑声) 这跟你们也有关系。 因为出轨的含义在不断扩大： 发色情短信，看黄片， 在约会软件上玩暧昧。 正因为缺乏一个统一的定义， 到底什么才算出轨， 因此这个百分比范围很广， 从26%到75%。 但与此相矛盾的是， 有95%的人认为， 另一半试图掩盖 出轨的事实是不可饶
14、恕的， 但差不多同样多的人也会说： 如果我出轨的话肯定也不会声张。 (笑声)Now, I like this definition of an affair - it brings together the three key elements: a secretive relationship, which is the core structure of an affair; an emotional connection to one degree or another; and a sexual alchemy. And alchemy is the key word here, be
15、cause the erotic frisson is such that the kiss that you only imagine giving, can be as powerful and as enchanting as hours of actual lovemaking. As Marcel Proust said, its our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person.我倾向于这样来定义婚外情， 它包含三个要素： 首先是遮遮掩掩的关系， 这是婚外情的核心; 二是拥有某种程度上的感情联系;
16、三是性幻想。 性吸引是这里的关键词， 对于性高潮而言，即便是想象出来的亲吻， 也和数小时的翻云覆雨， 拥有同样的魔力。 如马塞尔?普鲁斯特所言， “我们的爱源自想象，而非源自对方。”So its never been easier to cheat, and its never been more difficult to keep a secret. And never has infidelity exacted such a psychological toll. When marriage was an economic enterprise, infidelity threatened our economic security. But now that marriage is a romantic arrangement, infidelity t
