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1、人际智商决定职业生涯 我们大多数人都希望顺顺利利地度过每一个 工作日 毕竟 我们中很少有人会主动找人扯皮 打架 尽管如此 跟同事相处可不像公园漫步那般 惬意 而这种紧张关系会影响我们的工作表现 有时候 我们部门中某位员工根本就不适合从事 手头那份工作 他们为人浮夸 生性挑剔 缺 乏兴趣 平庸无能 催生出一种有可能拖垮每一 个人的有毒环境 大家不妨思考一下这个例子 在一家公司 由于长达一年的招聘冻结期 几个工程团队的人 手严重不足 工程师们劳累过度 CEO担心他们 可能无法按时完成任务 于是 这家公司就成立 了一个跨团队委员会 以便决定如何公平地把新 员工分配给相关团队 然而 这个委员会的负责
2、人是一位有独立见解的工程师 出了名地喜欢争 辩 批评他人 所有委员非常轻松地就首位新员 工应该被安排在哪里达成共识 但随后就出现了 问题 这位首席工程师希望把下一个新员工分配 给一位得意门生负责运营的不太重要的团队 其 他委员表示反对 他们认为这样做将会使组织失 调 这位工程师没有选择让步 而是分头找几位 委员谈话 充满敌意的争辩口吻让这几位委员觉 得他想一手遮天 委员们花了一些时间讨论他的 行为 有几位还因为这件事夜不能寐 就这样 一件原本简单的事情被搞得混乱不堪 耗费了大 量宝贵的时间 再看看另一个例子 在一家制药公司 一位 负责研发工作的科学家聘请了一位化学师 来公 司时 她带着几位前同
3、事撰写的一组热情洋溢的 推荐信 起初看起来也确实很有才华 但大约一 个月后 这位新员工的表现就只能算是勉强合 格 这位上司明确指出 她的表现差强人意 远 未达到他的期望值 她解释说 她知道自己掉队 了 但会迎头赶上 不幸的是 这个问题随后仍 然存在 最终 上司召来人力资源部一位同事与 她谈话 经过一系列交谈 这位化学师开始承认 她已经对自己的工作失去了兴趣 需要做出改 Most of us would prefer to get through the workday without a scuffle After all very few of us are actively looking
4、 for a fight That said getting along with our colleagues is no walk in the park and this tension can influence our performance Sometimes an employee in our department is simply the wrong person for the job their own grandiosity critical nature lack of interest or incompetence leads to a toxic enviro
5、nment that drags everyone down Consider this example At one company several engineering teams were understaffed owing to a yearlong hiring freeze The engineers felt overworked and the CEO was concerned about missing long term deadlines The company formed a cross team committee to decide how to fairl
6、y allocate new hires to the teams However the head of the committee was an independent thinking engineer who had a reputation for being argumentative and critical of others The committee easily agreed on where the first new hires should be allocated but there were issues after that The lead engineer
7、 wanted to assign the next hire to a prot g of his who ran a less important team other members objected that would misalign the organization Rather than backing down the engineer went to several committee members individually and argued with them in a way that they perceived as hostile and controlli
8、ng The committee members spent time discussing his behavior and a few of them lost sleep over the issue The whole process was far more time consuming and messy than it needed to be Or consider the research scientist in a pharmaceutical company who had hired a 变 被劝离这家公司6个月后 她加入了另一家 公司的营销部门 很快就干出了一番成就
9、 这个 故事有一个圆满的结局 但这位化学师的上司真 希望她更早地理解 承认自身的愿望 这样或许 就可以让她自己 以及她所在的研发团队 免于 经受这段令人失望的插曲 与上述监理工程师和新晋营销专家相类似 的员工面临一些涉及到理解自身和他人个性的 复杂问题 我们需要具备在这个领域进行推理的 能力 我称之为 人际智商 personal intelligence 一旦我们对这方面的理解失败 我们就可能做出有损我们的工作关系 或许还会 伤及声誉的错误选择 我在 2008年提出了 人际智商 这一概念 部分原因是为了整合心理学学界对于人们如何 理解自身和他人个性这个问题的最新见解 这种 理解包括对以下领域的
10、新研究 自我认识 对他 人的知觉 person perception 为什么小孩似 乎能够 读懂小伙伴的心灵 以及我们如何使 用自己所掌握的性格特征知识来预测别人的行 为 人际智商就是推断分析这种个性系统的能 力 new chemist She came with an amazing set of recommendations from her former colleagues and indeed appeared remarkably talented After a month or so however the new hire was performing at a barel
11、y adequate level When the supervisor pointed out the discrepancy between his expectations and her performance she explained she had fallen behind but would catch up Unfortunately the issue persisted Finally the supervisor called in a colleague from human resources to speak with her Over a series of
12、conversations with HR she began to acknowledge that she no longer found her profession interesting and she needed a change Six months after she was counseled out of the organization she joined the marketing division of another firm where she blossomed This story had a happy ending but the supervisor
13、 wished the chemist had understood and acknowledged her own desires sooner so she might have saved herself and his workplace some considerable disappointments Employees like the supervising engineer and the newly minted marketing specialist face complex issues that involve understanding their own pe
14、rsonalities and those of others We draw on an ability to reason in this area I call personal intelligence When our understanding in this area fails we can make poor choices that compromise our working relationships and perhaps our reputations In 2008 I introduced the concept of personal intelligence
15、 in part to organize an emerging understanding I saw taking place within psychology of how people understand their own and others personalities This understanding included new studies on self knowledge person perception how children seem to be able to read the minds of their friends and how we use o
16、ur knowledge of traits to anticipate the behavior of other people Personal intelligence is the capacity to reason about this personality system 个性在某些方面就像一个管弦乐队 正如一个 管弦乐队拥有打击 弦乐 木管 铜管和键盘等 乐器 以及指挥一样 个性有其动机和情绪 知 识和智能 对行动的规划和自我管理 个性演奏 着我们的生活乐章 我跟耶鲁大学 Yale University 的大卫 卡 鲁索和北卡罗莱纳大学 University of North Carolina 的阿比盖尔 潘特一起观察人们理解 个性的能力是否始终如一地呈现多样化 我们测 试了人们在 12个与个性有关的领域 或更多 这 取决于研究阶段 解决问题的能力 我们在每一 个研究中都发现 擅长解决某一领域问题的人也 擅长解决其他大多数领域的问题 例如 一位懂 得爱说话与精力充沛往往相依相伴的测试对象 也更擅长发现存在问题的目标 比如 永远 讲真话 因为这个目标可能会导致一些不得体