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1、托福作文写作范文详解 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents or other adult relatives should make important decisions for their older (15 to 18 year-old) teenage children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. 1 .题目翻译: 15-18岁的小孩的重要事件应该有其父母或成年亲戚决定。同意不否? 2 .审题关键词: Par
2、ents; Adult; Relatives; Important decisions; Older teenage (15-18); Reasons & examples.论证分析: 反:Parents should let their older children to make their own decisions to cultivate their independence. 反:The decisions parents made for their children may not be the right decision but a reflection of their
3、wish. 未卜:Parents and children should find a way of open communication when making important decisions. 范文 No one understands me as the way my parents do. No one wants the best for me and does the most for me as my parents. Because of their experience and wisdom, I should allow my parents to make imp
4、ortant decisions for me. I think all older teenagers, even those nearing adulthood, should follow their parents1 suggestions regarding decisions that concern their education, social life, and future careers. 此段结构首段,第一句话和第二句话在提供背景的同时直接给出自己的立场,第 三句话继续对作者的观点进行简单拓展。 此段功能首段为文章提供背景,确立作者立场,并作简单的分析。 My pare
5、nts have never ceased to choose the best schools for me and facilitated my attendance. In addition, they have encouraged me to study with professionals through special prep classes in order to make sure that I am well prepared for exams. They have provided tutors for me in order to make sure that I
6、understand every subject thoroughly. When it comes to choosing a university, I will trust my parents wholeheartedly to make that decision. Not only do they know what they can afford, but will find the best institution which will give me a good education. 此段结构本段是一个总分的结构。开头提出论点,即爸妈总是为自己选择最好的 学校并且严格监督自
7、己的课业。后面对论点进行了进一步展开,具体地 举了两个事例,第一个是爸妈为了让自己有好的考试成绩,会鼓励我们 参加一些课外的培训课程;第二个是在选择大学的时候,他们会双向衡 量自己的经济能力和孩子的学习能力,细心考量做出最优的选择。 此段功能本段是文章第二段,提出了第一个支持论点。 When I was young, my parents would invite other children over to play with me. Over the years, I have become quite good friends with these children. They are
8、almost my family at this point. We celebrate holidays together and we sometimes go on trips together, such as to the mountains in the summer. My parents are always on guard for my safety and want me to have good influences in my life; they do not want me to fall into the wrong crowd of people. They
9、do not want me to fall in love recklessly, with someone they know will cause problems in the future. Even though I am young and I might not understand, when I listen to their words, I understand; and most of all, I want to make them happy. 此段结构分总结构, 开头列举事例来说明父母如何保护孩子的成长不受到负面影 响,包括邀请成绩优秀的同学和自己的孩子成为朋友
10、,不鼓励早恋等等。 最后说明自己的想法,尽管当时懵懂,但是过后感受到父母的用心良苦, 并表示理解和支持。 此段功能本段是文章第三段,提出了正文的第二个支持论点。 My father owns a successful business and my mother is a prominent politician. My parents are well connected people and they have many friends and colleagues eager to work with me when I finish school. This ensures secur
11、ity and happiness for both my parents and me. If all children listen to their parents1 advice and their wishes, children and parents would both be happier. Parents only want the best for their children, and parents have the knowledge to make good choices. 此段结构也是分总的结构,由自己的具体事例上升到普遍的层次。首先交待父母 的工作背景, 说
12、明在父母的影响下, 自己在完成学业之后顺利地找到工 作,大家都不用为自己的前途发愁。最后总结并强调立场,父母为孩子 所做的都是基于爰和生活经验上的最好的考量,听从父母的建议能让孩 子的成长道路顺畅并且快乐。 此段功能本段是文章的尾段,也作为第三个论点支撑,承接上文,总结观点,并 强调了作者立场。 总分值要素剖析: 语言表达本文语言和句式都比拟简单易懂,传达力稍强而优美性略有缺乏。但是 文中也不乏一些精彩的动词和副词词汇,长句虽少但也运用得很灵活, 同时作者将一些简单句句式重复形成排比,在音韵上弥补了少长难句的 缺陷。 When it comes to choosing a university
13、, I will trust my parents wholeheartedly to make that decision. 这里的when it comes to.句式增加了句式和连接词的丰富性,不必 重复使用when从句。Wholeheartedly的使用强调作者对亍父母的 信任度,是对自己论点的强力支撑,同时这也是一个比拟高级的词汇。 Not only do they know what they can afford, but will find the best institution which will give me a good education. 这句话里使用了 Not
14、 only, but (also)句式,not only后接倒装句, institution后面夹带which的定语从句,这两个句式的结合将一个普 通的表达打造成一个多功能的长难句:不仅而且的递进语气和父母 选择具有合理性的语义一应俱全。 In addition, they have encouraged me to study with professionals through special prep classes in order to make sure that I am well prepared for exams. They have provided tutors for
15、 me in order to make sure that I understand every subject thoroughly. 首先,第一句in order to从句表达目的,同时还包含了 make sure 从句,in addition那么负责作上下文衔接。接下来第二句也是用了 in order to make sure that句式,因为两个句子都是从句夹从句的长句, 所以排比起来略显重复和繁杂, 其实可以尝试换个不同的表达方法, 发 挥轻量的优势。Well-prepared和thoroughly也都是比拟好的词汇。 No one understands me as the w
16、ay my parents do. No one wants the best for me and does the most for me as my parents. 这是两个简单句的同样句式形成排比,连续用两个否认句来肯定父母对 孩子的爰和理解是任何人都开能超越的,从而为接下来作者给出自己的 立场做高调而强烈的铺垫。这两个句子同时还运用as接倒装,短句也 可以看起来很高级。 逻辑结构本文采用的是正面论证的方式,在交待立场之后,用三段展开论述,从 学业,交友和工作三个方面举例说明了父母帮助自己做出了正确的选择, 并在每个段落里都将自己的例子上升到普遍层面,说明父母在每一个选 择之前都有合理的考虑。文章几乎是一边倒地强力支持自己的立场,而 且通篇举自己的例子来得出结论,因此稍显薄弱,说服力弱的同时还有 一种自说自话的感觉。 在结构方面,文章整体是总分总的结构,并且每一段也是以分总的形式展开论述的,结构整齐有条理。