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1、xx年X月X日精品范文-演讲中幽默的开场白 本文是中国考试网（chinazhaokao）演讲稿频道为大家整理的演讲中幽默的开场白，供大家学习参考。 演讲中幽默的开场白（文章一）英语演讲幽默开场白 幽默演讲调侃自己（中英对照） 演讲者如何调侃自己作为一个演讲者，我从观众那只得到过两种抱怨：一种是我讲话声音太大了，他们无法入睡；第二种是我讲得时间太长了，他们无法一直清醒。As a speaker, Ive only had two plaints from audiences. One, that I talk so loud they cant fall asleep. And two, tha
2、t I talk so long they cant stay awake.创新句子：你们或者睡觉，或者不睡，只要不打呼噜，我就接着讲。作为一个讲演者，他的演讲总拿来和林肯的哥得堡演讲一个著名的演讲相比较。当他演讲结束时，也有悲伤、眼泪和悲痛特别是计划委员会。As a speaker, he has often been pared to Abraham Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. When he finishes his speech, there is also sorrow, tears and mourning - especi
3、ally by the program mittee.幽默注释：演讲者讲得太糟糕了，组织者哭得很伤心。演讲结束时，宴会主人感谢你从繁忙的日程中抽出时间来你泰然自若，优雅地点头微笑着，心里非常清楚你日历上唯一的事情就是就早餐后喝点咖啡。Poise is when you finish your speech and the toastmaster thanks you for taking time out of your busy schedule to be a part of their program - and you nod and smile graciously knowing
4、full well that the only thing on your calendar is a little coffee from breakfast.幽默注释：一些老干部退休后没什么事干，有人请他参加一些活动，他还假装很忙，好象推开了很多事才赶去似的。过去我演讲时常常会比较紧张，但那时我看到一条信息说如果你想象所有的观众都是会有所帮助。此时此刻，我站在这里想象着观众都是，真的起作用，我不再紧张了，但眼睛有些疲劳。I used to get nervous when giving a speech but then I read that it helps to think of t
5、he entire audience as being naked. And so, at this very moment, Im standing up here imagining every one in this audience as being naked. And it really works. I no suffer from nervousness. Eyestrain. Yes.幽默注释：把观众想象成，意思是我不怕你们，就不紧张了。创新句子：大部分人站在讲台上都会有点儿紧张，我属于少部分人，我非常紧张。我本人不自负我简直不能告诉你们我是多么钦佩我这一点。Personal
6、ly, I have never been conceited - and I cant tell you how much I admire myself for that.幽默句子：他因为自己不自负，所以变得非常骄傲。创新句子：我一点儿都不自负，我希望别人也这么看我。我先用简单明了的英语演讲，以后我再翻译给律师听。Let me put this into plain English. Ill translate it for the lawyers later.幽默注释：律师总喜欢用复杂的语言，简单的话都听不懂了。 创新句子：我的讲话有三个版本，小学生版本，中学生版本，大学生版本，你是听小
7、学一年纪版的，还是小学二年纪版的？如果你听过这个故事，请不要打断我，我就知道这一个故事。If youve already heard this story, please dont stop me because its the only one I know.幽默注释：就是你知道两个故事，讲故事前也可以这么说。创新句子：我讲个笑话，如果你们听过，也希望装做没听过，我也这样照顾你们。演讲就象给草坪浇水，如果有四分之一的水渗下去你就满意了。Making a speech is like watering a lawn. Youre satisfied if just a quarter of i
8、t sinks in.幽默注释：有人打呼噜，有人说话，都是正常的，有四分之一观众听就不错了。演讲开始时我们有一些共同点，你们不知道我要讲什么我也不知道。At the very start, let me just say that we both have something in mon. You dont know what Im going to say - and neither do I.幽默句子：即兴演讲的开场白。创新句子：我不知道你们会不会喜欢我的演讲，我不知道我要讲点儿什么。开始前我想告诉你们下面的演讲已经编辑成了电视节目，我现在少讲20分钟，我们能够及时赶回家看2台的节目。B
9、efore I begin, I want you to know that the following speech has been edited for television. I cut 20 minutes out of it so we could all get home in time for the game on channel （2）、幽默注释：放着现场不看，偏要回家在电视上看。可能你们有些人知道我今晚出现在这里有两个原因：第一个原因是你们的计划委员会一直在设法寻找一个聪明、有趣、老练的演讲者，他们找到了。第二个原因是那个人病了，所以就打电话把我找来了。As some o
10、f you may know, Im appearing here tonight for two very good reasons. The first reason is your Program mittee was trying to find a speaker whos intelligent, entertaining, sophisticated - and they did. The second reason is, he got sick so they called me.幽默注释：一开始好象在说自己很牛，其实就是个临时替场。创新句子：我认为我演讲很风趣，可为什么没人
11、笑呢？有人有舞台恐惧症，我没有；舞台不会怎么样我，是观众快把我吓死了！Some people suffer from stage fright. I dont. The stage doesnt bother me at all. Its the audience that scares the hell out of me!幽默注释：stage fright舞台恐惧症，而不是舞台吓唬我。我们每个人都希望能在某一时刻把时钟拨回去。如果我能够把时钟拨回去45分钟，我就是这间房间里最幸福的人，我把演讲稿落在厨房桌子上了。At one time or another, I think each of
12、 us has wished we could turn back the clock. I know if I could turn back the clock just 45 minutes, Id be the happie st person in this room. Because thats when I left my speech on the kitchen table.幽默注释：自己上台前还在刻苦练习，演讲稿落家里了，讲错了希望观众包涵。我不想吹牛，但上次我演讲时所有的观众都站了起来，他们再也没有坐下，直到走到他们的汽车那儿。I dont want to brag, b
13、ut the last time I did this it brought the audience to its feet. And they never sat down again until they reached their cars.幽默注释：观众听他演讲，都站起来走了，他还在吹牛呢。创新句子：我演讲时用一种平缓的语速娓娓道来，观众睡得很香甜。如果我有点儿犹豫，你们一定要原谅我，这是我第一次饭后演讲在卖当劳里冲我的小孩儿喊叫除外。If Im a little hesitant, youll have to excuse me. This is the first after-d
14、inner speech Ive ever made -except for yelling at my kids in McDonalds.幽默注释：自嘲自己演讲没什么经验。创新句子：你可能知道我已经养成了饭后演讲的习惯。我不习惯面对这么多观众演讲，让我鼓起勇气的一件事情就是我在谈论我最喜欢的题目我。Im not used to speaking to such a large audience. The one thing that gives me courage is that Im speaking on my favorite subject - me.幽默注释：电视上老是邀请一些
15、名人在那儿大谈自己，这些人开场可以这么说。人们总问我为什么我戴顶10加仑的红色帽子（或者一些其它非常显眼的衣服饰品），我告诉他们那是我采取的积极现实的生活态度。我知道不管发生什么事情，善良的总在注视着我们。现在地球上有60亿人，我希望能从芸芸众生中一眼就挑出我来。People always ask me why I wear a big red ten gallon hat (or some other very noticeable article of clothing) and I tell them. It has to do with taking a positive but practical view of life. For xxtance, I know that no matter what happens, the
