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1、10个超逗的双语笑话 1. 我是单身汉 Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back.Anything else? The nurse asked. Yes,Jack thinks for a while and said,Im a bachelor. 杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格还有什么漏填的?护士问. 有!杰克想了想说,我是个单身汉.
2、2.Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.Husband:Its okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals. 妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的. 丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的. 3.Excuse me,but the seat youve taken is mine. Yours?Can you p
3、rove it? Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it. 请原谅,你占了我的位置. 你的位置?你能征明这点吗? 能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌.4. One day,Eve asked Adam,Doyou really love me? Adam said helplessly,Do I have any other choice? 一天,夏娃问亚当:你当真爱我吗? 亚当无可奈何地回答:我还有的选择吗? 5.Always Thirsty I had an operation, said a man to his friend, and the doctor lef
4、t a sponge in me. Thats terrible! said the friend. Got any pain?No, but I am always thirsty! 总感到口渴一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。” “真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?” “不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”6.A Useful WayFather: Jack, why do you drink so much water? Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad. Father: Whats that got to d
5、o with it? Jack: I forgot to wash the apple. 一个有效的方法 爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀? 杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。 爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢? 杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。7.A Present Kate: Mom, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot. Kate: No, you havent. Ive just dropped it.凯特的礼物 凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件
6、什么生日礼物吗? 妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀? 凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。 妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。 凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。 8.The Doctor Knows BetterA man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill.I am afraid that he is dead. said the d
7、octor. Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: Im not dead. Im still alive. Be quiet, said the wife. the doctor knows better than you! 医生懂得多一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头“我没死,我还活着。”妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。” 9.Waste or Save? Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept
8、away the whole morning. Dont you know you are wasting time? Jack: Yes, Dad. But Ive saved you a meal, haven I? 浪费还是节约 父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗? 杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是? 10.Why Is He Howling Dentist: Please stop howling. I havent even touched your tooth yet.Patient: I know, but you are stan
9、ding on my foot! 他为什么喊 牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。 病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀! 英语笑话十则英语笑话(一) 老师在黑板上写了一句:Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道:“汤姆是玛丽。” 小明上英文课时跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说:May I go to the toilet? 老师说:Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问:你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去? 小明说:你没听老师说去你个头啊! 英语笑话(二)
10、 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾,上前搭话曰:I am hongtao liu,外宾曰:我TM还是方片七呢! 英语笑话(三) 江青会见外宾,要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻,不许走样。外宾一见到江青,立刻拍马屁道:Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful. 翻译照翻,江青心花怒 放,嘴上还要谦虚一下:“哪里,哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢,把江青的话翻成英文:Where? Where? 外宾一愣,还有这样的人,追问哪里漂亮的,干脆马屁拍到底:Everywhere, everywhere. 翻译:“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了,但总是要客气一下:“不见得,不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文:You
11、are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see. 英语笑话(四) 话说某年某月的某一天,叁个神箭手约在一起比箭,目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射,咻一声,利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴,比出一根大 拇指道:I AM后羿! B神箭手照本宣科,射中苹果,这回他自大的喊了一句:I AM丘比特! 轮到C了,他也挽弓,利箭射出! 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句: I.I.I.AM.SORRY. 英语笑话(五) 某人刻苦学习英语,终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞, 忙说:I am sorry. 老外应道:I am sor
12、ry too. 某人听后又道:I am sorry three. 老外不解,问:What are you sorry for? 某人无奈,道:I am sorry five. 英语笑话(六) 一位来自日本的旅客,坐出租车去机场的路上,看到一辆汽车经过,就说:“oh,TOKOTA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”又有一辆经过,他又说: “oh,NISSAN!Made in Japan! It is very fast!”司机有点不高兴,觉得他太吵了!当第三辆经过时,他还是说:“oh,HONDA!Made in Japan! It is very fast!” 后来
13、到了机场,那个日本人就问:“How Much?”出租车司机说:“1000!” 日本人惊奇的问司机:“为什么那么贵?”出租车司机回答说:“oh,mileometer(计 程表)!Made in Japan! It is very fast!” 英语笑话(七) 英语老师问一个学生,“How are you是什么意思” 学生想how是怎么,you 是你,于是回答“怎么是你?” 老师生气又问另一个同学:“How old are you ?是什么意思?” 这个同学想了想说:“怎么老是你。” 英语笑话(八) 某男,粗通英文,至使馆,有表要填,有一栏是sex。 该男思之久已,毅然下笔:“Once a wee
14、k“。 签证官观后暴笑,曰:“This item should be filled in with male or female.“ 该男顿时赧颜,思之,填下“female“,官楞之,曰:“shouldnt it be male?“ 男急释曰:“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.” 英语笑话(九) 一位在美的留学生,想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张,看到地上标线是向左转。 他不放心的问道:turn left? 监考官回答:right. 于是他立刻向右转。 很抱歉他只有下次再来。 英语笑话(十) 传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世,上帝搞错了,把克林顿送上了天堂,而把教皇送入了 地狱。发现错误后上帝马上改了回来,路上二人相遇。 教皇:感谢上帝,我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了(Virgin Maria). 克林顿(坏笑中):Sorry,its too late.