303 The One With the JamScene: Chandler and Joeys, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joeys room creaking, and does a Oh no, not again look on his face.]Joey: (from bedroom) WHOAA!!Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, thats why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.Opening Credits[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross and Rachel are entering]Monica: Hey, look at me. Im making jam, been at it since 4 oclock this morning.Ross: Whered you get fruit at four in the morning?Monica: Went down to the docks. Bet ya didnt know you could get it wholesale.Rachel: I didnt know there were docks.[Joey and Chandler enter]Joey: Hey.Chandler: Hey.Ross: Aww, is it broken?Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing) Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?Joey: Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.Chandler: Well, Im sorry Joe. I didnt think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.Joey: What is this? Fruit?Rachel: Monicas making jam.Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?Chandler: Because the kids need new shoes.Monica: Im going into business people. Im sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. Whats the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey dont! Its way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.) Joey: This will just be my batch.[Scene: Street, Phoebe is being followed by some guy, as they pass a flower vendor. Phoebe turns around and the guy quickly picks up some flowers and continues following her.]Phoebe: (turns around) Um, thats it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look theres you.Guy: You wouldnt return my calls, you sent back my letters....Phoebe: What?Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?Phoebe: Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward. Guy: Wh..Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and Im Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.Guy: Oh, thats great. Im stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!Phoebe: Oh, youre not a dingus.Guy: I just, I want you to know I didnt used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.Phoebe: Well, I mean look its, its not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.Guy: Well thanks. (starts to leave) Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, youre not a witch youre just an average student. See what Im saying?Guy: Not really.Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Dont be so hard on yourself okay.Guy: Wait. Youre right. I know youre right. And, thanks for being so nice. Here (gives her the flowers he bought.) Phoebe: Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?Guy: Yeah, okay.Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you dont have to walk behind me any more.Guy: Sorry.[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross and Rachel are entering]Rachel: Mon?Ross: Mon?Rachel: (reading) Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.Ross: Wait a minute, look.Rachel: What?Ross: Look, look, look.Rachel: What, what, what?Ross: Its an empty apartment.Rachel: Oooh.Ross: Were all alone in an empty apartment.Rachel: Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well its not like Im employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch) (Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.) Ross: There it is.Rachel: Oh, oh, thats what youre talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.Ross: Hey.Chandler: Do I look fat?Ross and Rachel: Noo.Chandler: Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow. Rachel: Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said Hi, do I look fat today? And I, I looked at her....Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, its just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?Rachel: Nooo!Ross: And it works both ways.Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?Rachel: Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.Ross: Okay, for instance. Lets say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 shell take a cab home。