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1、JokeA Woman in the barA woman in the bar wants to do the plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, “Hey, you dont need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery.” The lady asks, “How do I do it without surgery?” “ Just rub toilet paper between them.” “ How dose tha
2、t make them bigger?” “ I dont know, but it worked for your ass!”新概念英语二册 barHairdresserHairdresser: “Did you have ketchup with your lunch, sir?”Custom: “No I didnt . ”Hairdresser: “In that case（既然如此）, I have slipped with the razor.”_新概念三册 case.A: Lend me fiftyB: I have only fortyA: Well, then let me
3、have the forty and you can owe me the ten._新概念二册L3 Examining the X ray, the doctor said, “Not a thing to worry about. You should lived to be ninety.”“But Doctor,” the patient said, “I am ninety.” “See? I was right!” the doctor said. _新概念一册L103 exam 或者是L63 看病Young Woman: Look! Here is a magazine that
4、 tells how to take five years off your face.Old Woman: Good! Ill take two of them. _新概念一册L127 讨论年龄问题作为背景笑话RequestA murderer, sitting in the electric chair, would be killed. “Have you any last requests?” asked the policeman. “Yes,” replied the murderer. “Will you hold my hand?” _新概念二册Lesson 5 request
5、 One businessman asked another, “Is your advertising getting results?” “It sure is,” replied his friend. “Last week we advertised for a night guard. The next night we were robbed.” _Lesson 7 guard and robBoxerDuring the fight, the boxer swiped the air furiously, but couldnt hit his opponent. “How am
6、 I doing?” he asked his coach at the end of the round. “Well, if you keep this up,” replied the coach, “ he might fee the wind and catch a cold.” _新概念三册John asked his mother for one dollar. “What are you going to do the money?” “I am going to give it to a poor man,” he answered. “You are a good boy,
7、” said the mother proudly. “Here you are, but why are you so interested in the old man?” “He is the man who sells ice cream.” _Lesson 121定语从句Public school 在英国和美国是不一样的， 在美国，人们把public school 认为是公立中学，private school是私立中学。而英国人却认为public是大众的意思，public school是老百姓自己创立的学校，是私立中学。 _新概念第二册Lesson 1 private publicA
8、: I found a pretty girl.B: You are telling me你早就告诉我了 _新概念第二册 第二课 现在进行时A: How is the girl?B: I dont think much of it 我对他印象不太好 _新概念一册 thinkIt will be all right on the night祝你一切顺利为什么是在晚上呢？是all right on the night 是以前演出时导演、和演员之间常说的一句安慰的话，因为旧时的戏剧表演通常是在晚上举行， 于是就有了on the night的说话。 后来，该语被引申为中宽泛的勉励，表示“一切都会好起来
9、”。 _新概念二册Lesson17Show sb to the door. 将某人赶出去_新概念一册 海关passportA bird in the hand is worth two in the bush一鸟在手，胜过两鸟在林 _新概念一册 it is worth every penny A GOOD CAT DESERVES A GOOD RAT 好猫该得好老鼠 _新概念二册 Lesson11 A lazy sheep think his wool heavy.懒羊嫌毛重 _新概念一册 wool A thief knows a thief, as a wolf knows a wolf.
10、贼了解贼， 正如狼了解狼。 _新概念二册 Lesson7As well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb偷大羊和偷小羊同样被处死。 （一不做二不休） Give a dog a bad name and hang him.欲加之罪，何患无词_新概念二册 Lesson26 hang)Fat hens lay few eggs.肥鸡不下蛋_新概念二册L49 lieStupid BirdsWhy do birds fly south for the winter? the answer is:Because its too far to walk! _新概念一册 toot
11、o句型两个男人在纽约的一个酒馆里喝酒。他们已经喝了很多Whisky.他们其中一个人对另一个人说， So where are you from, then?Im from Ireland.Me too! Ill drink to that.他们喝完了又要了两杯。.Where in Ireland are you from?Dublin.Me too! Ill drink to that.他们喝完了又要了两杯. Where in Dublin are you from? The East Side.The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! Ill dri
12、nk to that!他们两喝完了又要了两杯。Where on the East Side are you from? McDonagh Street.Me too! This is incredible! Ill drink to that. 当两个人又喝完了后, 旁边的另一位顾客对招待员说到，Thats amazing! I cant believe theyre from the same street in Dublin. Whats going on?“哦， 没有什么惊讶的，只不过是两个来自爱尔兰的孪生兄弟又喝醉了 _新概念一册 Where are you fromMad CowsT
13、wo cows were talking in the field. One cow says, Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease thats going around? The other cow answers, Yeah, makes you glad youre a penguin, doesnt it?_新概念Lesson21 Milking itA woman and a baby were in the doctorexamining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was
