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1、Seeking Relatingship in the Real World在网络之外找到缘分Dear Lonely Hearts: Do you spend hours at your computer clicking through, of single people online dating sites? Are you exhausted from tweaking pages on your profile, up dating your photos and emailing potential matches? Are you sick, and tired of feeli
2、ng rejected when so many of them dont answer?亲爱的征婚朋友:你是否曾经在网上花几个小时浏览征婚网站上一页一页的单身人士资讯?你是否因为不断调整个人资料、更新个人照片、给有可能发展的交往对象发邮件而感到精疲力尽?而当许多发出去的邮件都石沉大海时，那种被人拒绝的滋味会让你觉得烦了累了吗?It may be time for you to break up with online dating and try meeting a mate in the scary old-fashioned way: face to face.对你来说，也许是时候与这种
3、网上交友方式说拜拜了，也是时候尝试通过一种让你觉得害怕但却十分传统的方式与潜在约会对象见面了，这就是:面对面。For generations people parties, in church through met at or synagogue, friends even horror of horrors at work. But then we went online. We began making, friends Facebook and trolling for potential websites like M and eHarmony.过去几代人，人们在派对或是教会中相识，
4、通过朋友认识彼此，甚至最糟糕的在工作中发展恋情。可后来我们上网了。我们开始在Facebook上交朋友，在 M和eHarmony这样的网站上寻找潜在的交往对象。Sometimes it works. You probably know at least one couple who met online. I know half a dozen. But theres something thats easy to lose sight of: These happy folks arent typical. Most people never meet their soul mate onli
5、ne. Its exhausting, says Kate Wachs, a Chicagopsychologist and author of. Relationships for Dummies. People burn out really fast.有时候这种方式的确行之有效。你可能至少认识一对通过网恋走到一起的夫妻。我认识六对。可有一些事情是容易被忽视的:这些幸福的夫妻并不具有代表性。多数人的精神伴侣绝不是在网上认识的。芝加哥心理学家、傻瓜的恋爱关系的作者凯特沃克斯说，这种恋爱关系使人疲惫不堪，激情很快就会耗尽。Before you even get started, you hav
6、e to create your marketing pitch , get some decent photos, write an engaging profile, sometimes take a personality test. Then you scan hundreds, maybe thousands, of profiles and compose emails to the people you want to meet. If all this doesnt wear you out, the actual dates will.甚至在你还没有开始之前，你就得进行一番行
7、销宣传，弄一些体面的照片、写一份有吸引力的资料，有时还要参加性格测试。然后你要流览上百份、也许是上千份个人资料，接下来再给你想见面的人写电子邮件。如果所有这些还没有耗尽你的精力与热情，那么现实中的见面将会使它们统统耗尽。Thats, of course, if anyone bothers to email back. A lawsuit filed in December and seeking class-action status in U.S. District Court in Dallas alleges more than half the profiles on M are i
8、nactive, fake or fraudulent. Match. com general manager Mandy Ginsberg says the sites full-time fraud-prevention team works to identify and block fake profiles, including IP addresses that are in specific countries where fraud is prevalent or that try to set up multiple profiles. There are 1.7 milli
9、on paid subscribers on the site, Ms. Ginsberg says, and fraud happens to very few of them.而如果有人不嫌麻烦，回复了你的邮件，情况更是如此。一桩 12月份提起的诉讼宣称，默契网上超过一半的资料都是无效、虚假或是具有欺诈性的。这起诉讼正向达拉斯地方法院申请成为集体诉讼。默契网的总经理曼蒂金斯伯格说，该网站有专门的打假小组负责查找并屏蔽虚假资料，包括来自造假现象猖獗的特定国家的IP地址，以及那些试图建立多份个人资料的IP地址。金斯伯格说，该网站有170万付费使用者，提供虚假资讯的只是很少一些人。Online
10、dating is a lot of time for very little return, says Jeff Koleba, 31 , a Manhattan consumer-brand manager. At one point, he had active profiles on five dating sites. He says he found it draining to come home each night and study profiles, draft clever emails to the women he was attracted to, and the
11、n often receive no response. He recently quit online dating.31岁的杰夫科勒巴是曼哈顿一名消费者品牌经理，他说网上交友是一件颇为费时但却没什么回报的事情。他曾经是五个交友网站的活跃会员。他说，他每晚回家都要查看其他人的资料，并将精心构思的电子邮件发给他中意的女子，但之后却往往杳无音信，这让他感觉很疲惫，最近他已经放弃了网上交友。Now, Mr. Koleba tries to meet women when he is out and about -taking improvisational comedy classes, play
12、ing on a co-ed intramural soccer team, exercising with a runners group. It s easy to talk, because we already share a common interest. he says. So at least youll usually get a decent conversation, even if it winds Up5 going nowhere dating-wise.现在，科勒巴试着走出家门，到外面去接触女性，他参加了即兴戏剧表演班，在男女混合足球队中踢球，还与一个跑步团体一起
13、锻炼。他说，找人搭腔很容易，因为我们已经有了一项共同的兴趣。所以通常来说你至少可以有一次愉快的谈话经历，即便它最终不是朝着恋爱的方向发展。Where can you meet Mr. or Ms. Right without going online (or to a bar)? Ive asked around and heard these suggestions: Home Depot. The airport. The supermarket produce section. (Whole Foods and Trader Joe s have the best looking and
14、 healthiest prospects, according to a musician friend of mine.)除了上网(或是酒吧)，在哪儿可以遇见自己的意中人呢?我四处打听，得到了这些建议:家得宝，机场，超市的农产品区。(我的一个音乐家朋友说，在全食超市和乔氏超市美食店有机会碰到最好看、最健康的另一半。)I had some luck recently at a triathlon6 finish line in Miami, and I didnt even have to break a sweat. I was there with my sister, Rachel,
15、to cheer on my brother-in-law, J.J., who was running in his first race. I was waiting on a break wall by the water when a handsome man in running shorts sat down next to me. He asked if I was waiting for a husband or boyfriend, and I suddenly developed a southern accent: Whah noooo, Ahm not! 最近在迈阿密一
16、项三项全能赛事的终点线附近我交上了桃花运而且还不费吹灰之力。当时我和妹妹瑞秋一起，在那儿为第一次参加比赛的妹夫J.J.加油。我正在水边的防洪堤上等着，这时一位穿着运动短裤的帅气男子坐到了我身边。他问我是不是在等男友或是丈夫，我用不知从哪儿冒出来的南方口音告诉他，不是。Then it hit me: Here was a mass of people in skimpy outfits who were clearly very fit and had their ages written right on the back of their calves! It was easy to find things to say. We chatted about the race. Mr. Triathlon got to brag a little, and I got
