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1、安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2012届高考英语考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作（二十二）你叫李宏，你校在为一批来自加拿大的交流学生征寻为期两周的住宿家庭。你有意申请，写封信说明你申请的理由(包括所具备的条件)。学生习作外教批改June 7,2010Dear sir,_Sir/Madam，I hear1understand that our school will welcome some Canadian students to_stay_with_us_for_or for two weeks.Students who want to invite them _to_stay_can_take_part
2、_in_it.I_want_to_try.2 I am writing to offer to host one of them.First，my parents and I can speak English well.That_benefits_us_to_communicate_with_each_other So3 there will be no problem communicating with them.Second，4 our house is big enough for he_or_she5 them to stay.Furthermore，I live near the
3、 Huangpu River.It has a good view of Shanghai.Last but not least，in my home，he_or_she they will enjoy_much_China_culture6 experience a wealth of Chinese culture.My grandpa and grandma are good at handwriting7 and8 my grandma also_has_a_good_skill9 is also skilled in Chinese painting.I think our frie
4、ndly10 friendliness will give him them a both11 an interesting and comfortable experience.Thank you for your_reading_during_your_busywork12considering my application.I_hope_that_you_will_agree_with_me.I look forward to hearing from you soon.Yours sincerely faithfully，Li Hong,旁批1正式信件中用understand更好。2这
5、句话不必要，要切入正题。3原句语法上不正确，另外，可以用连词使句子变长，并把两句话的内容衔接起来。4这是另一个要点，应该另起一段。5这样表达很别扭。这种情况下，即使你指的是一个人，也可以用复数形式them。6这句话有两处错误。第一，“中国文化”的正确表达是Chinese culture而不是China culture。第二，动词应该用experience(体验)而不能用enjoy(喜欢)，因为你不能确定他们是否会喜欢这种文化。7作者可能想说calligraphy(书法)。handwriting指“写字风格”或“笔迹”。8这两句意思相关联，应该连成一句。这样也可以减少作文中短句子的数量。9不能说
6、某人has a good skill in something。可以用skilled in something。10词性错误。friendly是形容词。11词序不当。12这样写很别扭。参见修改后的句子。这是一篇较好的作文。作文完整地回答了题目要求。但是没有达到三星级的水平，原因在于作者没有抓住机会写出并列句和复合句而使用了太多简单句。记住：如果这样写，你就无法向考官展示你在高中阶段的学习水平。高分作文秘诀之十五：使用短语作状语时，要避免逻辑关系混乱。例如：Instead of (不要说：)At the age of ten，my grandfather died of cancer.Use (
7、要说：)When I was ten，my grandfather died of cancer.Instead of (不要说：)As a middle school student，his parents are strict with him.Use (要说：)Since he is a middle school student，his parents are strict with him.Instead of (不要说：)To swim properly，a course of instruction is necessary.Use (要说：)To swim properly，o
8、ne needs a course of instruction.Instead of (不要说：)Walking through the park，an old tower came into sight.Use (要说：)When we walked through the park，an old tower came into sight.Instead of (不要说：)Falling off the bicycle，my leg got badly hurt.Use (要说：)Falling off the bicycle，I had my leg badly hurt.Instea
9、d of (不要说：)Going through a red light，the traffic police on duty stopped him.Use (要说：)Going through a red light，he was stopped by the traffic police on duty.假设你是李华，是北京科技大学的在校生，想申请国外某大学微电子系的奖学金。请 写一封申请信，说明你的情况及申请的理由。_参考范文：Dear Sir，I should like to apply for one of the scholarships that your department
10、 may be offering to students from other countries.Would you please send me the necessary application forms and any further details about the scholarships?I am a postgraduate student in Beijing Science and Engineering University.I major in microelectronics engineering，and do some research work during
11、 my study years.I hope to have a further study and continue to do my research work if I succeed in obtaining the engineering scholarship.Enclosed are two letters of recommendation and my score report card.Thank you for your consideration.I look forward to your reply.Respectfully yours，Li Hua- 2 -用心 爱心 专心
