《大学经典英语笑话》由会员分享,可在线阅读,更多相关《大学经典英语笑话(4页珍藏版)》请在金锄头文库上搜索。
1、大学经典英语笑话 在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力阳光网小编分享关于大学经典英语笑话希望可以帮助大家 关于大学经典英语笑话:Threetoughmice Threemiceareatabar,havingdrinks,talkingabouthowtoughtheyare.Thefirstmouseslamsdownashotofbooze,says,LetmetellyouhowtoughIam. Ispotatrapandgoforthecheese.Whenitsnaps,Isnatchthebarandbenchpressi
2、t20orsotimesandbeforeitcancloseImoutathereandhetossesdownanothershot. Thesecondmouseslamsdownashotandsays,Youthinkthatstough?WhenIfindapileofdcon,Icrushitandsnortitlikeitscocaine.Withthathethrowsdownanothershotandslamshisshotglassonthebar. Thefirsttwoarestaringatthethirdmouse,waitingtoseewhathehasto
3、sayforhimself. Hefiresdownashotofbooze,throwsdownhisglassandheadsforthedoor.Hisbuddieslookateachother,thenathimandsay,Hey,whereareYOUgoing? Thethirdmousesays,Ihaventgottimeforthisshit,Ineedtogethometoscrewthecat. 关于大学经典英语笑话:Theswearingparrot Theresaguywhoownsaparrotthatswearslikeasailor.Hecanswearfo
4、rfiveminutesstraightwithoutrepeatinghimself.Troubleis,theguywhoownshimisaquiet,conservativetype,andthisbirdsfoulmouthisdrivinghimcrazy. Oneday,itgetstobetoomuch.Theguygrabsthebirdbythethroat,shakeshimhardandyells,QUITITButthisjustmakesthebirdmadandheswearsmorethanever.Thentheguygetsmadandsays,OKfory
5、ou.Helocksthebirdinakitchencabinet. Thisreallyaggravatesthebirdandheclawsandscratches,andwhentheguyfinallyletshimout,thebirdcutsloosewithastreamofvulgaritiesthatwouldmakeaveteransailorblush.Atthispoint,theguyissomadthathethrowsthebirdintothefreezer. Forthefirstfewsecondsthereisaterribledin.Thebirdki
6、cksandclawsandthrashes.Thenitsuddenlygetsvery,veryquiet.Atfirsttheguyjustwaits,butthenhestartstothinkthatthebirdmaybehurt.Afteracoupleofminutesofsilence,hesworriedenoughtoopenthefreezerdoor. Thebirdcalmlyclimbsontothemansoutstretchedarmandsays,AwfullysorryaboutthetroubleIgaveyou.Illdomybesttoimprove
7、myvocabularyfromnowon.Themanisastounded.Hecantunderstandthetransformationthathaseovertheparrot.Thentheparrotsays,Bytheway,whatdidthatchickeneverdotoyou? 关于大学经典英语笑话:Wellendowed Amanwalksintoabarandseesajarwithmoneyinitandahorsestandingnexttoit.Thebartendertoldthemantoputadollarinthejarandmakethehorse
8、laugh.Sothemanputadollarintothejarandtoldthehorsesomething.Suddenlythehorsebegantolaughhysterically.Themantookthemoneyandleft. Thenextdaythemanwalkedintothebarandsawthejarofmoneyandthehorsestandingnexttoit.Thistime,thebartendertoldthemantomakethehorsecry.themanputadollarinthejar,walkedovertothehorse
9、,andthehorsebegantocry.Themantookthemoneyandashewasabouttoleavewhenthebartenderaskedhim. Howdidyoudothat?themanreplied,Onthefirstday,Itoldthehorsemydickwaslongerthanhis,andonthesecondday,Ishowedhim. 关于大学经典英语笑话:Bearhunting Everyyear,Bobgoeshuntingduringbearseason.Oneyear,Bobgoeshunting,andshootsasmal
10、lbrownbear.Then,themotherofthatsmallbrownbearesuptohimandsays,Illgiveyoutwochoices,Illeitherkillyou,ormakelovetoyou,butIwontletyougo. Bobthinksonthis,anddecideshewantstolive,sothemotherbearthenmakeslovetohim. Thenextyear,Bobgoeshuntingagain,butthistime,heshootsthemotherbearthathewasforcedtomakelovet
11、otheyearbefore.Heshootsher,andhermotheresafterBob,andagain,giveshimthechoice.Iwillmakelovetoyou,orkillyou,whichwillitbe? Again,Bobmakeslovetoabear. Thenextyear,Bobgoesonceagainforrevenge,andkillsthebearthathewasforcedtomakelovetotheyearbefore. Thistime,hersisteresuptoBobandsays,Youdontehereforthehunting,doyou?