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1、Unit OneTEXT ITwo Words to Avoid, Two to RememberArthur Gordon1Nothing in life is more exciting and rewarding than the sudden flash of insight that leaves you a changed person not only changed, but changed for the better. Such moments are rare, certainly, but they come to all of us. Sometimes from a
2、 book, a sermon, a line of poetry. Sometimes from a friend.2 That wintry afternoon in Manhattan, waiting in the little French restaurant, I was feeling frustrated and depressed. Because of several miscalculations on my part, a project of considerable importance in my life had fallen through. Even th
3、e prospect of seeing a dear friend (the Old Man, as I privately and affectionately thought of him) failed to cheer me as it usually did. I sat there frowning at the checkered tablecloth, chewing the bitter cud of hindsight.3He came across the street, finally, muffled in his ancient overcoat, shapele
4、ss felt hat pulled down over his bald head, looking more like an energetic gnome than an eminent psychiatrist. His offices were nearby; I knew he had just left his last patient of the day. He was close to 80, but he still carried a full case load, still acted as director of a large foundation, still
5、 loved to escape to the golf course whenever he could.4By the time he came over and sat beside me, the waiter had brought his invariable bottle of ale. I had not seen him for several months, but he seemed as indestructible as ever. “Well, young man,” he said without preliminary, “whats troubling you
6、?”5I had long since ceased to be surprised at his perceptiveness. So I proceeded to tell him, at some length, just what was bothering me. With a kind of melancholy pride, I tried to be very honest. I blamed no one else for my disappointment, only myself. I analyzed the whole thing, all the bad judgm
7、ents, the false moves. I went on for perhaps 15 minutes, while the Old Man sipped his ale in silence.6When I finished, he put down his glass. “Come on,” he said. “Lets go back to my office.”7“Your office? Did you forget something?”8“No,” he said mildly. “I want your reaction to something. Thats all.
8、”9A chill rain was beginning to fall outside, but his office was warm and comfortable and familiar: book-lined walls, long leather couch, signed photograph of Sigmund Freud, tape recorder by the window. His secretary had gone home. We were alone.10The Old Man took a tape from a flat cardboard box an
9、d fitted it onto the machine. “On this tape,” he said, “are three short recordings made by three persons who came to me for help. They are not identified, of course. I want you to listen to the recordings and see if you can pick out the two-word phrase that is the common denominator in all three cas
10、es.” He smiled. “Dont look so puzzled. I have my reasons.”11What the owners of the voices on the tape had in common, it seemed to me, was unhappiness. The man who spoke first evidently had suffered some kind of business loss or failure; he berated himself for not having worked harder, for not having
11、 looked ahead. The woman who spoke next had never married because of a sense of obligation to her widowed mother; she recalled bitterly all the marital chances she had let go by. The third voice belonged to a mother whose teen-age son was in trouble with the police; she blamed herself endlessly.12Th
12、e Old Man switched off the machine and leaned back in his chair. “Six times in those recordings a phrase is used thats full of subtle poison. Did you spot it? No? Well, perhaps thats because you used it three times yourself down in the restaurant a little while ago.” He picked up the box that had he
13、ld the tape and tossed it over to me. “There they are, right on the label. The two saddest words in any language.”13I looked down. Printed neatly in red ink were the words: If only.14“Youd be amazed,” said the Old Man, “if you knew how many thousands of times Ive sat in this chair and listened to wo
14、eful sentences beginning with those two words. If only, they say to me, I had done it differently or not done it at all. If only I hadnt lost my temper, said the cruel thing, made that dishonest move, told that foolish lie. If only I had been wiser, or more unselfish, or more self-controlled. They g
15、o on and on until I stop them. Sometimes I make them listen to the recordings you just heard. If only, I say to them, youd stop saying if only, we might begin to get somewhere!”15The Old Man stretched out his legs. “The trouble with if only,” he said, “is that it doesnt change anything. It keeps the
16、 person facing the wrong way backward instead of forward. It wastes time. In the end, if you let it become a habit, it can become a real roadblock, an excuse for not trying any more.16“Now take your own case: your plans didnt work out. Why? Because you made certain mistakes. Well, thats all right: everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are what we learn from. But when you were telling me about them, lamenting this, regretting that, y
