写作抓住细节精选教学课件

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1、写作写作? 抓抓住住细细节节运用你的想象合理扩展一句话,恰当地添加动作、表情、神运用你的想象合理扩展一句话,恰当地添加动作、表情、神态、语言、心理等将这句话的内容充实起来。态、语言、心理等将这句话的内容充实起来。*她骂他懦夫(樱桃山菊骂红红野孩子)她骂他懦夫(樱桃山菊骂红红野孩子)*她骂他道:她骂他道:“你真是一个懦夫你真是一个懦夫”(添加(添加语言语言)*她用手指着他的鼻子骂道:她用手指着他的鼻子骂道:“你真是一个懦夫你真是一个懦夫”(添加(添加动作动作)*她早已被气得浑身颤抖,脸色铁青,怒睁杏目,用手指她早已被气得浑身颤抖,脸色铁青,怒睁杏目,用手指着他的鼻子骂道:着他的鼻子骂道:“你真是

2、一个懦夫你真是一个懦夫”(添加(添加神态神态)其实她早已被气得浑身颤抖,脸色铁青,但她还是在不断的其实她早已被气得浑身颤抖,脸色铁青,但她还是在不断的告诫自己:不要失态、不要骂人!最终她实在是忍不住了,告诫自己:不要失态、不要骂人!最终她实在是忍不住了,于是怒睁杏目,用手指着他的鼻子骂道:于是怒睁杏目,用手指着他的鼻子骂道:“你真是一个懦夫你真是一个懦夫”(添加(添加心理心理)细节描写文学作品中对人物细节描写文学作品中对人物动作、语言、动作、语言、神态、心理、外貌以及自然景观、场面神态、心理、外貌以及自然景观、场面气氛气氛等等细小环节或情节细小环节或情节的描写。的描写。使读者如见其人,如睹其物

3、,如临其使读者如见其人,如睹其物,如临其境。境。 细节描写在刻画人物性格、丰满人细节描写在刻画人物性格、丰满人物形象、连接故事情节、丰富作品内涵物形象、连接故事情节、丰富作品内涵等方面具有重要作用。生动的细节描写,等方面具有重要作用。生动的细节描写,有助于折射广阔的生活画面,表现深刻有助于折射广阔的生活画面,表现深刻方法一:方法一: 精用动词精用动词我看见他戴着黑布小帽,穿着黑布大马我看见他戴着黑布小帽,穿着黑布大马褂,深青布棉袍,蹒跚地褂,深青布棉袍,蹒跚地走走到铁道边,慢慢到铁道边,慢慢探探身下去,尚不大难。可是他身下去,尚不大难。可是他穿过穿过铁道,要铁道,要爬上爬上那边月台,就不容易了

4、。他用两手那边月台,就不容易了。他用两手攀攀着着上面,两脚再向上上面,两脚再向上缩缩;他肥胖的身子向左微;他肥胖的身子向左微倾倾,显出努力的样子。这时我看见他的背影,显出努力的样子。这时我看见他的背影,我的泪很快地流下来了。我的泪很快地流下来了。 (摘自朱自清背(摘自朱自清背影)影)方法二:巧用修饰语方法二:巧用修饰语父亲佝偻着身子,慢慢地朝前面一个父亲佝偻着身子,慢慢地朝前面一个小店走去。进了店门,父亲堆着满脸的笑:小店走去。进了店门,父亲堆着满脸的笑:“老板,生意好!请帮帮忙,换两张大钞老板,生意好!请帮帮忙,换两张大钞票。票。”笑着说着,贴满膏药的手伸进夹衣笑着说着,贴满膏药的手伸进夹衣

5、口袋,抖抖索索地摸出一大把钱,摊到柜口袋,抖抖索索地摸出一大把钱,摊到柜台上,当着老板的面,几分的,几角的,台上,当着老板的面,几分的,几角的,半天才凑足了半天才凑足了20块钱。块钱。(摘自山路弯弯摘自山路弯弯)方法三:巧妙的运用修辞方法三:巧妙的运用修辞对事物加以淡妆浓抹,能使语言增亮增色,提高对事物加以淡妆浓抹,能使语言增亮增色,提高文章品味给人以美感。文章品味给人以美感。母亲曾经有过一头浓密的黑发,柔软、亮洁、光母亲曾经有过一头浓密的黑发,柔软、亮洁、光泽,由于一生辛劳,捧出所有的心血,奉献最纯泽,由于一生辛劳,捧出所有的心血,奉献最纯洁的母爱,来抚育我们成长,所以未老先衰,四洁的母爱,

6、来抚育我们成长,所以未老先衰,四十几岁,头发开始花白。先是两鬓染霜,后来是十几岁,头发开始花白。先是两鬓染霜,后来是额前飘白,就象春天黛青的远山里悄然冒出一抹额前飘白,就象春天黛青的远山里悄然冒出一抹残雪,一丝丝,一缕缕垂在饱经风霜的脸上,再残雪,一丝丝,一缕缕垂在饱经风霜的脸上,再后来脑前脑后全沾满了白发,白得我们儿女们心后来脑前脑后全沾满了白发,白得我们儿女们心总之,好的细节描写,就总之,好的细节描写,就犹如一座座精美的灵魂,有犹如一座座精美的灵魂,有了它才能使人物性格鲜明,了它才能使人物性格鲜明,形象栩栩如生。形象栩栩如生。抛砖引玉抛砖引玉抓住细节抓住细节0102精精用用动动词词服务巧用

7、修饰语巧用修饰语巧妙的运用修辞巧妙的运用修辞03写作写作实实践践Reader, I married him. A quiet wedding we had: he and I, thmore or less Constance Chatterleys position. The war had brought theroof down over her head. And she had realized that one must live and learn.She married Clifford Chatterleyin 1917, when he was home for a mon

8、th on leav e. Theyhad a months honey moon6. Then he went backto Flanders: to be shipped over to England again six months later, more or less in bits. Constance, his wife, was then twenty-three ears old, and he was twenty-nine.His hold on life was marv ellous. He didnt die, and the bits seemed to gro

9、w together again. For two ears he remained in the doctors hands. Then he was pronounced a cure, and could return to life again, with the lower half of his bodyfrom the hips7 down, paraly sed for ever.This was in 1920. They returned, Clifford and Constance, to his home, WragbyHall, the familyseat. Hi

10、s father had died, Clifford was now a baronet, Sir Clifford, and Constance was LadyChatterleyThey came to start housekeeping and married life in the rather forlorn home of the Chatterleys on a rather inadequate9 income. Clifford had a sister, but she had departed. Otherwisethere were no near relativ

11、es. The elder brother was dead in the war. Crippled for ever, nowing he could never hav e anychildren, Clifford came home to the smokMidlands to keep the Chatterleyname aliv e while he could.He was not reallydowncast. He could wheel himself about in a wheeled chair, and he had a bath-chair with a sm

12、all motor attachment10, so he could drive himself slowlyround the garden and into the line melancholy11 parkof which he was reallyso proud,though he pretended to be flippant about it.Having suffered so much, the capacityfor suffering had to some extent left him. He remained strange and bright and ch

13、eerful,almost, one might saychirpywith his ruddyhealthy-looking face, arid12 his pale-blue, challenging bright eyes. His shoulders were broad and strong, his hands were ery strong. He was expensivelydressed, and wore handsome neckties from Bond Street. Yet still in his face one saw the watchful13 lo

14、okthe slight vacancy14 of a cripple.He had so verynearlylost his life, that what remained was wonderfullyprecious to him. It was obvious in the anxious brightness of his eyes, how proud he was, after the great shockof being alive. But he had been so much hurt that something inside him had perished,

15、some of his feelings had gone. There was a blankof insentience.Constance, his wife, was a ruddycountry-looking girl with soft brown hair and sturdybodyand slow movements, full of unusualenergy. She had big, wondering eyes, and a soft mild voice, and seemed just to have come from her native illage. I

16、t was not soat all. Her father was the once well-known R. A., old Sir Malcolm Reid. Her mother had been one of the cultivated Fabians in the palmyrather pre-Raphaelite day s. Between artists and cultured socialists16, Constance and her sister Hilda had had what might be called an aesthetically17 unc

17、onventional upbringing. They had been taken to Paris and Florence and Rome to breathe in art, and theyhad been taken also in the other direction, to the Hague and Berlin, to great Socialist15 conventions, where the speakers spoke18 in everyciv ilized19 tongue, and no one was abashed20.The two girls,

18、 therefore, were from an earlyage not the least daunted21 by either art or ideal politics. It was their natural atmosphere. They were at once cosmopolitan22 and provincial23, with the cosmopolitan provincialism of art that goes with pure social ideals.They had been sent to Dresden at the age of fift

19、een, for music among other things. And theyhad had a good time there. Theylived freelyamong the students, they argued with the men over philosophical24, sociological and artistic25 matters, theywere just as good as the men themselves: onlybetter, since theywere women. And they tramped off to the for

20、ests with sturdyouths bearing guitars, twang-twang! Theysang the Wandervogel songs, and theywere free. Free! That was the great word. Out in the open world, out in the forests of the morning, with lustyand splendid-throated oung fellows, free to do as theyliked, and-above all-to saywhat they lik ed.

21、 It was the talk that mattered supremely26: the impassioned interchange of talkLov e was only a minor27 accompaniment.Both Hilda and Constance had had their tentative lov e-affairs bythe time theywere eighteen. The young men with whom they talked so passionately28 and sang so lustilyand camped under

22、 the trees in such freedom wanted, of course, the love connex ion. Thegirls were doubtful, but then the thing was so much talk ed about, it was supposed to be so important. And the men were so humble29and craving30. Whycouldnt a girl be queenly, and give the gift of herself?So theyhad given the gift

23、 of themselves, each to the youth with whom she had the most subtle and intimate arguments. The arguments, the discussions were the great thing: the love-making and connexion were onlya sort of primitive31 rev ersion and a bit of an anti-climaxOne was less in love with the boy afterwards, and a litt

24、le inclined to hate him, as if he had trespassed32 on ones privacyand inner freedom. For, of course, being a girl, ones whole dignity and meaning in life consisted in the achievement of an absolute, a perfect, a pure and noble freedom. What else did a girls life mean? To shake off the old and sordid

25、33 connexions and subjections.And however one might sentimentalize it, this sexbusiness was one of the most ancient, sordid connexions and subjections. Poetswho glorified34 it were mostlymen. Women had always nown there was something better, something higher. And now theynew more definitelythan ev e

26、r. The beautiful pure freedom of a woman was infinitely35 more wonderful than anysex ual lov e. The onlyunfortunate thing was that men lagged so far behind women in the matter. Theyinsisted on the sex thing like dogs.And a woman had to yield. A man was like a child with his appetites. A woman had to

27、 y ield him what he wanted, or like a childhewould probablyturn nastyand flounce awayand spoil what was a v ery pleasant connexion. But a woman could yield to a man without ielding her inner, free self. That the poets and talkers about sexdid not seem to have tak en sufficiently36 into account. Awom

28、an could take a man without reallygiv ing herself awayCertainlyshe could take him without giv ing herself into his power. Rather she could use this sex thing to have power over him. For she only had to hold herself backin sexual intercourse37, and let him finish and expend38 himself without herself

29、coming to the crisis: and then she coulde parson and clerkwere alone present. When we got backfrom church, I went into the kitchen of the manor-house, where Mary was cooking the dinner and John cleaningthe kniv es, and I said -MaryI have been married to Mr. Rochester this morning. The housekeeper2 a

30、nd her husband were both of that decent phlegmatic3order of people, to whom one mayat any time safelycommunicate a remarkable4 piece of news without incurring5 the danger of hav ing ones ears pierced bysome shrill6 ejaculation, and subsequentlystunned7 by a torrent8 of wordywonderment. Marydid looku

31、p, and she did stare at me: the ladle with which she was basting9 a pair of chickens roasting at the fire, did for some three minutes hang suspended in air; and for the same space of time Johns kniv es also had rest from the polishing process: but Mary, bending again over the roast, said onlyHave ou

32、, Miss? Well, for sure!A short time after she pursued-I seed you go out with the master, but I didnt know ou were gone to church to be wed1; and she basted10 awayJohn, when I turned to him, was grinning from ear to ear.I telled Maryhow it would be, he said: I knew what Mr. Edward (John was an old se

33、rvant, and had k nown his master when hewas the cadet of the house, therefore, he often gave him his Christian11 name)-I new what Mr. Edward would do; and I was certain he would not wait long neither: and hes done right, for aught I know. I wish ou joy , Miss! and he politelypulled his forelockThank

34、ou, John. Mr. Rochester told me to giv e y ou and Marythis. I put into his hand a five-pound note. Without waiting to hear more, I left the kitchen. In passing the door of that sanctum some time after, I caught the words Shell happen do better for him nor onyot grand ladies. And again, If she bent o

35、ne o th handsomest, shes noan faal andarrygood-natured; and i his een shes fair beautiful, ony bodymaysee that.I wrote to Moor12 House and to Cambridge immediatelyto saywhat I had done: fully13 explaining also whyI had thus acted. Diana and Maryapproved the step unreservedlyDiana announced that she

36、would just give me time to get over the honeymoon14, and then she would come and see me.She had better not wait till then, Jane, said Mr. Rochester, when I read her letter to him; if she does, she will be too late, for our honeymoon will shine our life long: its beams will onlyfade ov er our grave o

37、r mine.How St. John received the news, I dont know: he never answered the letter in which I communicated it: y et six months after he wrote to me, without, however, mentioning Mr. Rochesters name or alluding15 to mymarriage. His letter was then calm, and, though veryserious, kind. He has maintained

38、a regular, though not frequent, correspondence ever since: he hopes I am happyand trusts I am not of those who live without God in the world, and onlymind earthlythings.You have not quite forgotten little Adele, have y ou, reader? I had not; I soon asked and obtained leave of Mr. Rochester, to go an

39、d see her at the school where he had placed her. Her frantic16 joyat beholding17 me again moved me much. She looked pale and thin: she said she was not happyI found the rules of the establishment were too strict, its course of studytoo severe for a child of her age: I tookher home with me. I meant t

40、o become her governess once more, but I soon found this impracticable; my time and cares were now required byanother-myhusband needed them all. So I sought out a school conducted on a more indulgent system, and near enough to permit of myisiting her often, and bringing her home sometimes. I tookcare

41、 she should never want for anything that could contribute to her comfort: she soon settled in her new abode18, became eryhappy there, and made fair progress in her studies. As she grew up, a sound English education corrected in a great measure her French defects; and when she leftschool, I found in

42、her a pleasing and obliging companion: docile19, good-tempered, and well-principled. By her grateful attention to me and mine, she has long since well repaid any little kindness I ev er had it in mypower to offer her.Mytale draws to its close: one word respecting myexperience of married life, and on

43、e brief glance at the fortunes of those whose names hav e most frequently recurred20 in this narrative21, and I have done.I have now been married ten years. I know what it is to live entirely22 for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myselfsupremely23 blest-blest beyond what language can expr

44、ess; because I am myhusbands life as fullyis he is mine. No woman was ever nearer to her mate than I am: ever more absolutelybone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. I know no weariness of myEdwardssocietyhe knows none of mine, any more than we each do of the pulsation24 of the heart that beats in o

45、ur separate bosoms25;consequentlywe are ever together. To be together is for us to be at once as free as in solitude26, as gay as in companyWe talk , I believe, all daylong: to talk to each other is but a more animated27 and an audible thinking. All myconfidence is bestowed28 on him, all his confide

46、nce is dev oted29 to me; we are precisely30 suited in character-perfect concord31 is the result.Mr. Rochester continued blind the first two ears of our union; perhaps it was that circumstance that drew us so very near-thatnit us so veryclose: for I was then his v ision, as I am still his right hand.

47、 Literally32, I was (what he often called me) the apple of his eye. He saw nature-he saw book s through me; and nev er did I wearyof gazing for his behalf, and of putting into words the effect of field, tree, town, river, cloud, sunbeam-of the landscape before us; of the weather round us-and impress

48、ing by sound on his ear what light could no longer stamp on his eye. Nev er did I wearyof reading to him; nev er did I wearyof conducting him where he wished to go: of doing for him what he wished to be done. And there was a pleasure in myservices, most full, most exquisite33, even though sad-becaus

49、e he claimed these services without painful shame or damping humiliation34. He loved me so truly, that he knew no reluctance35 in profiting by myattendance: he felt I loved him so fondlythat to yield that attendance was to indulge mysweetest wishes.One morning at the end of the two ears, as I was wr

50、iting a letter to his dictation, he came and bent36 over me, and said-Jane, hav e ou a glittering ornament37 round your neck?I had a gold watch-chain: I answered Yes.And have y ou a pale blue dress on?I had. He informed me then, that for some time he had fancied the obscurityclouding one eye was bec

51、oming less dense38; and thatnow he was sure of it.He and I went up to London. He had the advice of an eminent39 oculist40; and he eventuallyrecov ered the sight of that one eye. He cannot now see v ery distinctlyhe cannot read or write much; but he can find his waywithout being led bythe hand: the s

52、kis no longer a blankto him-the earth no longer a void. When his first-born was put into his arms, he could see that the boy had inherited his own eyes, as they once were-large, brilliant, and blackOn that occasion, he again, with a full heart, acknowledged that God had tempered judgment41 with merc

53、yMy Edward and I, then, are happyand the more so, because those we most lov e are happylikewise. Diana and Mary Rivers are bothmarried: alternatelyonce everyear, theycome to see us, and we go to see them. Dianas husband is a captain in the nava gallant42 officer and a good man. Mary s is a clergyman

54、, a college friend of her brothers, and, from his attainments43 and principles, worthy44 of the connection. Both Captain Fitzjames and Mr. Wharton lov e their wives, and are loved by them.As to St. John Rivers, he left England: he went to India. He entered on the path he had marked for himself; he p

55、ursues it still.A more resolute45, indefatigable46 pioneer never wrought47 amidst rocks and dangers. Firm, faithful, and devoted, full of energy, and zeal48, and truth, he labours for his race; he clears their painful wayto improvement; he hews49 down like a giant the prejudices of creed50 and caste

56、 that encumber51 it. He maybe stern; he maybe ex acting52; he maybe ambitious et; but his isthe sternness of the warrior53 Greatheart, who guards his pilgrim convoy54 from the onslaught of Apollyon. His is the exaction55 of the apostle, who speaks but for Christ, when he says-Whosoever will come aft

57、er me, let him deny himself, and tak e up his cross and follow me. His is the ambition of the high master-spirit, which aims to fill a place in the first rankof those who are redeemed56 from the earth-who stand without fault before the throne of God, who share the last mighty57 ictories of the Lamb,

58、 who are called, and chosen, and faithful.St. John is unmarried: he never will marrynow. Himself has hitherto sufficed to the toil58, and the toil draws near its close: his glorious sun hastens to its setting. The last letter I received from him drew from myeves human tears, and yet filled myheart w

59、ith div ine joy : he anticipated his sure reward, his incorruptible crown. I know that a strangers hand will write to me nex t, to say that the good and faithful servant has been called at length into the joyof his Lord. And whyweep for this? No fear of death will darken St. Johns last hour: his mind will be unclouded, his heart will be undaunted, his hope will be sure, his faith steadfast59. His own words are a pledge of this -MyMaster, he says, has forewarned me. DailyHe announces more distinctly,-SurelyI come quick ly ! and hourlyI more eagerlyrespond,-Amen; even so come, Lord Jesus!

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