2008年高考英语书面年高考英语书面表达阅卷分析表达阅卷分析 2007年与年与2008年高考书面表达阅卷情况比较年高考书面表达阅卷情况比较 相相同同点点不不同同点点20072007年平均分为年平均分为11.56 11.56 （（3535分满）分满）20082008年平均分为年平均分为11.46 11.46 （（3535分满）分满）平均平均分低分低评分分标准准一致一致20072007年、年、20082008年评分标准均为：年评分标准均为： 1. 1.以要点内容定档次以要点内容定档次 2. 2.以语言质量定分数以语言质量定分数1.1.20082008年可看上下文决定是否缺要点，年可看上下文决定是否缺要点，2.2.20072007年只看几个关键词没有就视为缺要点年只看几个关键词没有就视为缺要点年开放作文三判规定为年开放作文三判规定为2 2分以上，分以上， 2007 2007年开放作文三判规定为年开放作文三判规定为3 3分以上 情情 景景 作作 文文 假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为校刊英语园地写一篇假设你是红星中学高三一班的学生李华，为校刊英语园地写一篇题为题为 “Our Spring Outing” 的英文稿件。
请根据以下四幅图的先后的英文稿件请根据以下四幅图的先后顺序，叙述上周你们班从准备春游到春游结束的完整过程顺序，叙述上周你们班从准备春游到春游结束的完整过程 注意：词数不少于注意：词数不少于60 提示词：游乐园提示词：游乐园 amusement park 垃圾箱垃圾箱 bin 情情 景景 作作 文文 给分档次分档次n一档文：一档文： （（18-20分）分）n二档文：二档文： （（15-17分）分）n三档文：三档文： （（12-14分）分）n四档文：四档文： （（ 6-11分）分）n五档文：五档文： （（ 1-5 分）分）n六档文：六档文： （（ 0 分）分）n注：情景注：情景作文字数少于作文字数少于60, 扣１分情情 景景 作作 文文 内容要点及内容要点及细节n要点要点：：讨论讨论n细节：细节： ①①去游乐园去游乐园 ②②划船划船 ③③爬山爬山 ④④决定去爬山决定去爬山情情 景景 作作 文文 内容要点及内容要点及细节n2. 要点要点：：爬山 爬山 n 细节：细节： ①①携带吃、喝携带吃、喝 ②②天气天气 ③③风景风景 ④④进行竞赛进行竞赛--- 看谁先到山顶 看谁先到山顶情情 景景 作作 文文 内容要点及内容要点及细节n3.要点：要点： 捡拾垃圾捡拾垃圾（可捡拾自己的也可（可捡拾自己的也可捡拾别人的）捡拾别人的）n 细节： 细节： ①①一路走，一路捡，一路走，一路捡，②②要有对场面的描写要有对场面的描写情情 景景 作作 文文 内容要点及内容要点及细节n4. 要点要点：：投放垃圾投放垃圾n 细节： 细节： 垃圾分类：可回收 垃圾分类：可回收 和不可回收 和不可回收情情 景景 作作 文文 评卷卷给分的分的细节要求要求n1. 阅卷中不要通过找单词去找要点，阅卷中不要通过找单词去找要点， 一定要从一定要从上下文来找要点上下文来找要点。
n2. 阅卷重点放在用完整、准确的句子去表达思想上，满篇没有正确句阅卷重点放在用完整、准确的句子去表达思想上，满篇没有正确句 子，一样打子，一样打0分n3. 所有要点齐全的进三档（所有要点齐全的进三档（12分以上），要保证要点和细节相互支撑分以上），要保证要点和细节相互支撑n4. 少一个细节的进三档上线（少一个细节的进三档上线（14分），可以视其语言状况分），可以视其语言状况+1或或-1分分 （说明该学生最高可得（说明该学生最高可得15分，最低可得分，最低可得13分）n5. 少两个细节进三档下线（少两个细节进三档下线（12分），可以视其语言状况分），可以视其语言状况+1或或-1分（说明该分（说明该 学生最高可得学生最高可得13分，最低得分，最低得11分）n6. 行文中图的先后顺序有误或人称错误的直接进四档（行文中图的先后顺序有误或人称错误的直接进四档（6-11分）n7. 文章不能以投放垃圾作为结束，要加上一个合情合理的结尾，否则要文章不能以投放垃圾作为结束，要加上一个合情合理的结尾，否则要 在所得分数中扣在所得分数中扣-1分。
分n8. 一档或二档文的确定要依文章的上下文连贯、紧凑，以及语言质量来决一档或二档文的确定要依文章的上下文连贯、紧凑，以及语言质量来决 定n9. 要点和细节可出现在一句话中要点和细节可出现在一句话中n10. 写落款、题目或称呼的都忽略不计，按照正常情况给分写落款、题目或称呼的都忽略不计，按照正常情况给分情情 景景 作作 文文 n Last week our Class1 Senior 3 in Red Star High school had an unusual spring outing.n The day before we left, our classmates had a heated discussion about the destination of the outing. Some students suggested the amusement park, while others preferred boating and mountain climbing. When it came to practice, we were having a good time climbing at last. However, at the top of the mountain, we were angry rather than shocked to find out that loads of rubbish were discovered everywhere . Meanwhile, it came to our mind that we had to clean this mess up. Thus, after recycling the rubbish in different bins, we were all very cheerful that we not only returned the beauty back to the mountain, but also had a wonderful spring outing.漏掉了第二幅漏掉了第二幅图这个要点，只能个要点，只能进四档，但其四档，但其语言言较好故好故+1+1分，分，总分分为1212。
情情 景景 作作 文文①① nLast week, the students in my class decided to go out for a spring outing. Some of us wanted to go to the amusement park. Some wanted to go boating and some wanted to climb the mountain. Finally we decided to climb the mountain. nI was a shiny day. All of us were happy. But when we reached the top of the mountain. We found that rubbish everywhere! We picked the rubbish and threw them into the dustbin. n I think, we shouldn’t threw the rubbish everywhere and we should do our best to protect the environment. The more we do, the more beautiful the earth will be!情情 景景 作作 文文第二幅第二幅图少要点少要点,,第四第四图少少细节, ,语言表述缺言表述缺乏准确性和乏准确性和逻辑性，影响了性，影响了对所写内容的理所写内容的理解。
解9 9分分②② nLast week our class organized a spring outing. To make this memorable activity more wonderful, we discussed the destination carefully and finally decided to go mountain-climbing instead of other choices like playing in an amusement park and going boating. nWith high spirits, we started our spring outing on a fine day. Flowers presented us with their sweetest smiles and we were soaked up in the warm sunshine. However, we were shocked when we reached the top of the mountain. Wasted bottles and used packages were thrown everywhere which totally ruined the beauty of the nature. Feeling a great pity for the tourists, we picked up the rubbish and carefully divided them into two groups：：recycle ones and the non-recycle ones. After that, we put the rubbish into the bin differently. nWe call on awareness on protecting our environment which is of great importance. Though clearing up the rubbish was a tough task, our hearts were filled with joy and we will remember this outing for ever.内容要点齐全，描述语句丰富，上下文连贯，有效地使用了语句间的链接成分，只有个别用词错误，体现了较强的语言运用能力。
19分情情 景景 作作 文文③③ n Last week, there was a heated – discussion on where to go for our spring outing. Some students wanted to go to amusement park, some considered to go boating and others gave their ideas for climbing. Eventually, we decided to take a climb.n The next day, all of us prepared well. With our enjoyment, each of us climbed the mountain full of energy. However, when we got to the top of the mountain, what covered our eyes first was the mass of rubbish. It was really a pity that the rubbish destroyed a beautiful scenery. At last, we made up our mind to pick up the rubbish. After a while, with everyone’s effort, the rubbish was cleared off immediately and we put them into the recycled and unrecycled bins.n In my eyes, this spring outing not only gave us lots of pleasure, but also gave us a meaningful lesson. Only to protect our environment, can we get a beautiful society. Therefore, I hope everyone can join us to make our home clean and tidy.情情 景景 作作 文文覆盖了所有内容要点覆盖了所有内容要点 ，，语法和用法和用词能能够满足足任任务要求，篇章要求，篇章较为连贯，有少，有少许语言言错误。
1616分分④④ nLast week, our class had a spring outing, which the whole class think was quite meaningful.n When getting prepared for the activity, we had a heated discussion about where to go . Opinions divided among the students. Some students suggested we go to the amusement park to get relaxed, while others recommended that we go boating. Finally, most of the students agreed to go hiking. On a sunny day, my class gathered at the foot of the mountain, and everyone looked so exited. While hiking in the mountain, we all had a happy smile. But when reaching the top of the mountain, we are so surprised to find that lots of rubbish was left there. Then we decided to collect them with the bags we bought. Everyone sport no effort to do a good job. At last, when we got down the mountain, we threw all the rubbish into the proper bins. n How meaningful was our spring outing!情情 景景 作作 文文覆盖了所有的内容要点，但有个别细节缺失，全文行文流畅，内容连贯，有少许错误。
14分⑤⑤ In the last week, teacher tell us “we will be go to spring amusement” we were very happy students thinks we will go to park. It has mouter, hill, river, boat and so on. We were asked on noon. The last is come on! Tomorrow, teacher and us gone to amusement park, we were played very happy we were gone there that we were went to go to! Monter. Hill, river, boat. In the noon, we were have food, we all kinds of food, We are very like then. In the afternoon. We will go out come back we were out had food go to the bin. We were very happy come back.0分分情情 景景 作作 文文⑥⑥ Possible versionLast Thursday, we had a class meeting to discuss where to go for our spring outing. We came up with several choices, such as going boating, climbing a mountain, and going to an amusement park. Finally we decided to go mountain climbing. The next day, we set off early in the morning, while climbing the mountain, we enjoyed the warm sunshine and a beautiful view. However, when we reached the top, we were shocked to see litter here and there, such as bottles and bananas peels. Then we started to pick up the litter. Afterwards, we put the rubbish into the nearby recycling bin and non-recycling bin respectively. We were tired but happy. 情景作文出现的主要问题情景作文出现的主要问题n1.1.审题不仔不仔细，漏掉要点。
漏掉要点n2.2.缺乏缺乏细节观念，不能使文章念，不能使文章衔接接紧密n3.3.人称和人称和时态观念差，文章直接降档念差，文章直接降档n4.4.语言基本功差，漏洞百出言基本功差，漏洞百出n5.5.缺乏交缺乏交际观念，很念，很难出色地完成写作任出色地完成写作任务情情 景景 作作 文文 开开 放放 作作 文文 n请根据下面提示，写一篇短文词数不少于请根据下面提示，写一篇短文词数不少于50n In an English speech competition, you are asked to describe the following picture and explain to the judges how you understand it.开放作文开放作文 给分分标准准n一档文：（一档文：（13-15分）分）n二档文：（二档文：（ 9-12分）分）n三档文三档文：（：（ 4-8分分 ））n四档文：（四档文：（ 1-3分分 ））n五档文：（五档文：（ 0分分 ））n注：开放作文字数少于注：开放作文字数少于50，扣，扣1分开放作文开放作文 评卷卷给分的分的细节要求要求n1. 必须有一段描写（看到什么）：圆规、铅笔，要注意到表情。
必须有一段描写（看到什么）：圆规、铅笔，要注意到表情 n （对图片的描写要有细节，看到你的描写，能够把图片浮现出（对图片的描写要有细节，看到你的描写，能够把图片浮现出n 来，同时要记住图片的描写一定要为观点服务，使二者紧密结来，同时要记住图片的描写一定要为观点服务，使二者紧密结n 合在一起这点很重要，开放作文重点考察学生的合在一起这点很重要，开放作文重点考察学生的逻辑性逻辑性n2. 理解必须建立在描写的基础上，必须把两个方面都说到，要体理解必须建立在描写的基础上，必须把两个方面都说到，要体n 现两者的关系（因为图中画了两个元素：圆规和铅笔）现两者的关系（因为图中画了两个元素：圆规和铅笔）n3. 只有议论为第三档，只说铅笔或圆规为第三档（只有议论为第三档，只说铅笔或圆规为第三档（4-8分），只分），只n 有描述最高得有描述最高得5分n4. 描述和议论部分没有很好的结合只能进三档视其语言可给描述和议论部分没有很好的结合只能进三档视其语言可给 最高分（最高分（8分）n5. 进入一档文的条件是，不仅有对铅笔和圆规的正确理解和交进入一档文的条件是，不仅有对铅笔和圆规的正确理解和交n 代，还要有升华，如：能够联系到做人就更好了。
代，还要有升华，如：能够联系到做人就更好了n6. 看其观点是否能够自圆其说，语言要能够跟上自己的逻辑看其观点是否能够自圆其说，语言要能够跟上自己的逻辑n7. 圆规可以有变通的表达写成什么样都能接受，看文章质量圆规可以有变通的表达写成什么样都能接受，看文章质量n 打分）打分）开放作文开放作文 nAs we can see from the picture, a pencil is running to draw a straight line, while the other stationary is drawing a circle easily. nThe pencil is trying its best to do it with its soul and heart. The other one is very proud of itself, though its skill is really good. nEvery one has their own advantages and disadvantages. We should have confidence in ourselves and make our effort to do everything. If so, I believe everyone can be successful. People’s perseverence and effort will count. nAt the same time, everyone have to be clear to know you’ll never be the best for you can be better respecting everyone and believing in yourself, the bright future is around the corner. 开放作文开放作文对图片有基本描述，且描述与下文的片有基本描述，且描述与下文的讨论有一定有一定相关性，但相关性，但论述中表达不述中表达不够到位，到位，逻辑联系交代得不系交代得不够清清楚。
第二段的楚第二段的说明与第三段的描写没有必要的明与第三段的描写没有必要的联系，描系，描写部分写部分说的是勤的是勤奋努力，第三段却努力，第三段却说各有各的各有各的优点逻辑混乱，混乱，观点不明故定点不明故定为9 9分分①① nAs is shown from the picture, there are two tools which we often use them. one is used to draw circles and the other one is used to draw everything. The one which is used to draw circles is proud of its perfect circles. And the other one is making its great effort to draw lines. nIn my opinion, the one draws circles like someone who is always satisfied with their things and the other one likes someone who never gives up and makes his effort to reach better. nI have learned a lot from the picture that we should make our effort to do everything although we have got a little mark in some areas. Don’t be addicted to the great past. 开放作文开放作文对图片有基本清楚地描写，与下文的片有基本清楚地描写，与下文的讨论之之间有一有一定定联系，但系，但讨论部分部分语言表达不言表达不够清楚，且清楚，且过于于简单。
8分分 描述较为详尽，但描述较为详尽，但议论过于简单，不能表议论过于简单，不能表达清楚自己的想法达清楚自己的想法②② nWhat an interesting picture! In the picture, we can see that a pencil keep drawing hard and a circler only draws a circle but is proud of itself. nWe can learn a lot form the picture. I think we should do more, like the saying goes. “No pains, no gains”. Only we do things can we get what we want. And at the same time, we’d better not think highly of ourselves. That’s a good way for us on not only our study and work, but also our lives. 开放作文开放作文描述描述过于于简单，无法，无法对下文起到充分的下文起到充分的铺垫，， 使使得文章看起来有些空穴来得文章看起来有些空穴来风。
6 6分分 描述过于简单，无描述过于简单，无法对下文起到充分的铺法对下文起到充分的铺垫作用③③ nAs can be seen from the picture, the modern math tool is drawing the circle easily and the traditonal pencil is running to draw the lines with sweat falling from its face. nI think this picture reflects an unusual social phenomenon that people with modern knowledge can solve problems in a more effective way and are more welcomed by the companies. I think it attempts to tell us that possessing and stubburn method can not keep the pace of the society. nAs far as I’m concrened, in order to meet the need of society, we must learn knowledge as much as we can from now on. Only in this way, can we be the leader of the society. 图片描写基本清楚，片描写基本清楚，论述部分与描写部分之述部分与描写部分之间没有没有令人信服的有机令人信服的有机逻辑联系，理解比系，理解比较牵强，但考，但考虑到到语言言质量量还可以，因此可以，因此给出第三档中的高分数。
出第三档中的高分数8分分开放作文开放作文图画的描写与下文理解图画的描写与下文理解很牵强④④ nAs we can see in the vivid picture, one is drawing a cirle happily, meanwhile, the other is drawing lines and tries its best. nIn my opinion, they stands for the two kinds of people in our contemperoy society, one stands for the persons who always do little and somethings and are satisfied with what they have done. The other one stands for the persons who try their best and make more progress. nNo doubt, we’ll think highly of the second kind of persons. Because it’s them that make ourlifes were convenient and easier and make the society developing. While the first kind of persons, I think are too selfish.nThis is my opinion about the picture. 开放作文开放作文语言言逻辑不不够好，描写与好，描写与议论没有多大的没有多大的逻辑性，性，第三段与上下文无太大第三段与上下文无太大联系，系，逻辑性不性不强，交代的，交代的不太清楚，不太清楚，虽然然语言流言流畅，但没有一个平台来支持，但没有一个平台来支持前面的前面的图。
8分分图画的描写与议论部分图画的描写与议论部分未能有机地结合未能有机地结合⑤⑤ nIn the picture, we can see a cartoon pencil is running with great effort to draw a square. While a tool used in drawing circles is doing his job in an easy way, feeling quite proud and looking down upon the “silly” little pencil. nThis is quite a common scene in the society. Some people are talented and can learn a subject in an easy and perfect way. They can easily get proud and look down upon those who have to make great efforts to do it. In their opinion, those people are too silly to achieve goals. nHowever, these “talented” and proud people don’t understand that even though they can do well in one subject, there are still many jobs, they don’t know how to do, just like the tool used in drawing circles, he can never draw a square that easily. nWhile those “silly” people, though with great, can achieve their dreams in many subjects because of their self-awareness and perseverance. Just like the little pencil, who can draw various shapes. nSo don’t be proud when you can do something well. Be patient and work hard, you’ll achieve more goals, especially in studying. 开放作文开放作文 图片描述清楚，片描述清楚，议论部分与描述部分有机自然部分与描述部分有机自然地地结合，且合，且论述比述比较充分充分语言流言流畅，无，无严重影响表重影响表达意思的达意思的错句。
句13分分⑥⑥ nAs we can see in the picture, there are two familiar materials which we often use in our daily life. The one is used to draw circles, the other can makes lines. The one making effort to finish its work. On the other hand, the pencil is running all the time tiredly so that it can complete to draw a straight line. nThese two materials also represent two kinds of people: one is hard to finish the work, while the other can finish the task easily. What I learn from the picture is that we should learn the pencil. Although different work need different energy, making efforts on what we are doing seems more significant. I think we cannot only satisfy the comfort which may make us lazy, however, we need hard work to help us become stronger. So friends, put out your effort and energy, and we can draw a great “life line” by ourselves and reach our goals in the future. 对图画的描写和议论部分都比较到位，所用语法和词汇满足了任务要求，虽然有些错误，但不影响理解，议论部分的深度还有所欠缺。
11分开放作文开放作文⑦⑦ Possible versionnFrom the picture I can see a pair of proud compasses and a hard-working pencil. The compasses are big, drawing a circle with ease, while the pencil is small, drawing a line with great effort. nI think the compasses are reasonable to be proud because no one else can do the job better. At the same time, however, he should realize the pencil has his own advantages. The pencil can do other shapes better than the compasses, even pictures.nSo in my opinion, while we are confident in ourselves, we should recognize strengths in others and show due respect for them. 开放作文出现的主要问题开放作文出现的主要问题n1.1.对图片的理解不到位，缺乏准确性。
片的理解不到位，缺乏准确性n2.2.逻辑思思维混乱，上下文混乱，上下文经常出常出现相矛盾的相矛盾的地方多注重思地方多注重思维层面的培养）面的培养）n3.3.缺少必要的缺少必要的过渡和交代，使渡和交代，使议论部分成部分成为空中楼空中楼阁这样的作文直接的作文直接进入三入三档）档）n4.4.语言跟不上自己的言跟不上自己的逻辑n5.5.很少很少进入一档文，因入一档文，因为没有很好的升没有很好的升华意意味开放作文开放作文 。