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1、Unit3Unit3 DailyVerbalCommunication(II)1ObjectivesLearnthesocialfunctionsofcomplimentsandcomplimentresponsesLearnthedifferencesbetweenChineseandEnglishcompliments/complimentresposesLearnthedifferentexpressionsofgratitudeandapologyinEnglishandChinese2CONTENTSI.Warm-upcasesII.DetailedStudy:Socialfunct
2、ionsofcomplimentsComplimentsandcomplimentresponsesDifferencesbetweenChineseandEnglishcomplimentsCommonresponseformulasofEnglishandChinesecomplimentsExpressionsofgratitudeandapologyinEnglishandChineseIII.CaseStudyIV.SummaryV.Assignments3Case1.AnInvitationtoDinnerI.Warm-upcasesQuestion:Ifyouwerethedir
3、ectorandchosentomediatethissituation,whatwouldyoudotoensurenottooffendeitherparty?HowwouldyouexplainBartsbehaviortoManual?HowwouldyouexplainManualstoBart?4Case2.TheCancellationoftheDinnerPartyComment:1.In New Zealand, a friend can openlyprovideconstructivecriticism.IfStandidnotmake such suggestions
4、to a friend in hiscountry,thefriendwouldbeangrythatStandidnothelphimwhenhehadthechance.2.InPhilippines,apersoncannotbeafriendandacriticatthesametime,oratleastnotinpublic.Stanshouldfindsomeotherway(acceptable to the Filipinos) to voice hiscomments.5Case3Whyshouldtheydolikethis?Comment:1.TheBritishpeo
5、plemaintaintheiretiquetteandsocialmannersevenwhentheyareveryexcited.2.TheFilipinocoupledidnotintroducetheirFilipinofriendtohim3.TheFilipinosweretalkingintheirownnativelanguage.NodoubttheBritishfeltleftout,whichisunacceptableandrarelyoccursonsocialoccasionsinBritain.4.Whenimmigrantsmeetinaforeigncoun
6、try,theytendtotakenonoticeoftheirsurroundings/peoplearound,whichisconsideredtoberudeandrequiresattention.6II.ComplimentsA.SocialfunctionsofcomplimentsB.B.ComplimentandcomplimentresponsesC.C.DifferencesbetweenChinesecomplimentsandEnglishcompliments(semanticformulaandsyntacticformula)D.D.Commonrespons
7、eformulasinEnglishandChineseE.E.Differentculturalassumptionsaboutcompliment7WorkingroupstodiscussthesocialfunctionsofComplimentsEg.greetingpeople,.Socialfunctionsofcompliments8OnbehalfofallyourAmericanguests,IwishtothankyoufortheincomparablehospitalityforwhichtheChinesepeoplearejustlyfamousforthroug
8、houttheworld.Iparticularlywanttopaytribute,notonlytothosewhopreparedthemagnificentdinner,butalsotothosewhohaveprovidedthesplendidmusic.NeverhaveIheardAmericanmusicplayedbetterinaforeignland.-byPresidentNixonatawelcomingpartyinhis1972visittoChinaQ:WhatisthesocialfunctionofNixonscompliment?Case19(Abos
9、smeetshisyoungfemaleemployeeinthemorning)A:Well,youlookgoodtoday.Youhavesuchniceclothes.B.Thankyou.Ihavehadthisforawhile.(Twoacquaintancesmeetinthestreet)A:Hi,Pat.Howareyoudoing?Youlooknice.B:Thanks,Anne.Sodoyou.MoreCases10A:ThanksfortheChristmaspresentyousentme.ItssoniceandjustwhatIneeded.B:Imglady
10、oulikeit.(Twofriendsdecidetomakeupafteraquarrel.Onecomestotheapartmentoftheother.)A:Hi,Mary.Howareyou?B:OK.Howareyou?A:Imfine.(pause)B:Oh,thisvaseisreallypretty,whendidyougetit?11Socialfunctionsofcompliments1.Tocreateorreinforcesolidarity2.Togreetpeople3.Toexpressthanksorcongratulations4.Toencourage
11、agingpeople5.Tosoftencriticism6.Tostartaconversation7.Toovercomeembarrassment12Positive Functionsof ComplimentsItsagoodmannertocomplimentothers.Asincere complimentisalwaysawelcomeboosttosomeonesday.Ithelpsopen up conversations, give people a lift, and raise ones self-esteem13Ittakesconfidenceandself
12、-esteemtonoticegoodthingsaboutothersandtomakethefirstcaringmovetotellthemaboutitYoullalsofindwhenyoustartnoticinggoodthingsaboutpeople,youllnoticemoregoodthingsaboutyoutoo!Andthe moreyoudo,the moreyourownself-esteemwillgrow.-RaisesYourGivingCompliments14Think about itHow often do you compliment the
13、others?How do you feel when you are complimented? How do Chinese/English speakers respond to compliments?15WorkinPairstoactoutthefollowingtwocases:a.AyoungChinesewomanintheU.S.wascomplimentedbyanAmericanwomanforthelovelydressshewaswearing:“Itsexquisite.Thecolorsaresobeautiful!”Shewaspleasedbutsomewh
14、atembarrassed.IntypicalChinesefashion,shereplied,“Oh,itsjustanordinarydressIboughtinChina.”16b.AtareceptionatanAmericancollege,Mr.Chen,anewly-arrivedChinesescholar,waschattingwiththehostess.Asanacquaintanceofthehostessapproached,shesaid,“Ron,letmeintroduceMr.Chen,anoutstandingphysicistandoneofthenic
15、estpeopleIknow.”Mr.Chenofferedhishandtothenewcomerbutlookedatthehostessandsaidwithasmile,“ShouldIblush,orshouldItellhimyoudontreallymeanit?”17Discussion1.Inbothcases,whatmessageisconveyedbythewordsoftheChinese?2.Whatistheintention/implicationoftheChinese?18Discusshowyouwouldrespondinthefollowingsitu
16、ationsandactthemout.a.Aforeignvisitorwaslookingatthehostspottedflowerswithobviousadmiration.Theplantswerebloomingprofusely.Thehostremarkeddiffidently,b.“Growing flowers is my hobby, but Im not much good at it.”b.ACanadianaskedaChineseartteachertolookoveranarticlethatshehadwrittenaboutChinesepainting
17、s.Heagreed,butaddedthatc.“I really know little about the subject.”19ComplimentsandcomplimentsresponsesFishingforcompliments“Growingflowersismyhobby,butImnotmuchgoodatit”-“Buttheseflowersarebeautiful”“IwishIcoulddoaswell!”20Fishingforcompliments“Ireallyknowlittleaboutthesubject.”-“Well,Icertainlydont
18、knowanybodywhoknowsmorethanyoudo!”21ChinesecomplimentsChinaisanoldcountrywithfivethousandyearscultureandcivilizationandknownforitsetiquette.22InfluencedbytheideaofConfucius,peopleextremelyvaluethepolitenessandregardmodestyasavirtueinthecommunication.whentheycommunicatewithothers,withapoliteandmodest
19、pattern,theyareoftenconsiderateandunwillingtoannoyothersandtomakeothersfeelembarrassed.23要欣要欣赏赞美美别人。林肯人。林肯说：人人：人人爱听恭听恭维的的话。恭。恭维别人，不是虚人，不是虚伪。恭。恭维别人，就是肯定人，就是肯定对方的价方的价值。增。增强他的信他的信心和勇气便于心和勇气便于顺利交流，利交流，这是于人于己是于人于己都有利的好都有利的好习惯。他是改良人。他是改良人际关系的关系的催化催化剂。学会了。学会了赞美美别人，你看人的角人，你看人的角度都度都发生了生了变化，再不会把化，再不会把别人看成豆人看成
20、豆腐渣了。事腐渣了。事实上，人人都是有你上，人人都是有你值得学得学习和肯定的地方的。和肯定的地方的。Westerncompliments24Englishcompliments西方人有一种西方人有一种习惯，见面除面除谈天气以外，喜天气以外，喜欢向向对方方说一些恭一些恭维话（compliment）,表示表示赞美、敬意，美、敬意，或只是表示或只是表示问候，或没候，或没话找找话的搭的搭讪。恭。恭维话的范的范围很广，从人的相貌、服装、首很广，从人的相貌、服装、首饰，到，到发型、健康型、健康状况，甚至会恭状况，甚至会恭维你佩戴的一只手表、一只你佩戴的一只手表、一只钢笔。笔。有人主有人主张，听到恭，听到恭
21、维话后，只需后，只需简单地回答地回答“Thankyou.”这固然不固然不错，然而在，然而在实际生活中，恭生活中，恭维话往往往有往有许多不同情况，因此，回多不同情况，因此，回应也不也不应千篇一律。千篇一律。顺便便说一下，恭一下，恭维话必必须恰到好恰到好处，不能，不能过分，否分，否则就就变成挖苦了。成挖苦了。25DifferencesbetweenChineseandEnglishComplimentsW:ItiscommonforamantoinformallygiveawomancomplimentsonherlooksorclothingC:Itistakenasakindofflirtat
22、ionifamancomplimentsawoman26Chinesepeoplecomplimenteachothermuchlessfrequentlythanwesternersdo.ChinesepeopletrytodrawalinebetweencomplimentandflatteryChinesepeopleinterpretotherspositivecomplimentsasarequestforpossessingsomething.27TheSemanticFormulaEnglishcompliments:AdjectivesVerbsThiswasagreatmea
23、l.Youlooksonicetoday.Youdidagoodjob.Ilikeyourhaircut.Iloveyourglasses.Ireallyenjoyedyourclass28ChinesecomplimentsAdjectivesadverbsverbsYourskirtisverypretty.Thisroomisreallygood.Yourereallyanexperiencedteacher.Youdidthejobverywell.Youtreatpeoplesincerely.Iespeciallylikethecolorofyourblouse.Youdeserv
24、ebeingpraised.29TheSyntacticFormulaNPADJPROVADVOEnglish:NPis/looksreallyADJ(53%)Yourblouselooksbeautiful.Youaresoefficient.Ireallylike/loveNPIreallylikeyourhardwoodfloors.Thatsreallyabeautifulcar.30pSyntacticpatternsinEnglishcomplimentThreemajorpatterns(about80%ofallcomplimentscollected)pNPbe/look(i
25、ntensifier)ADJ“Youlookreallynice.”ADJincludes:nice,good,beautiful,pretty,great,wonderful,lovely(Thisset=2/3ofallADJusedindata).pI(intensifier)like/loveNP“Ireallylikethatskirt.”VERBincludes:like,love.enjoy,admire,beimpressedbypPRObe(intensifier)(a)ADJNP“Thatsreallyanicecoat.”Formulaic(orconventional)
26、Language:averylimitedsubsetofEnglishsentencestructureandvocabulary(andtopics)isusedtogivecompliments.TheSyntacticFormula31pTopicsAppearancepclothes,hairdo(resultsofdeliberateeffort)Ability(skill)/performancepawell-donejob,askillfullyplayedgame,agoodmealPersonality/friendshipp“Thatwaskind.”Possession
27、sp“Ilikeyournewbike.”32ChineseYouVADVYoudidthejobwell.NPisADJYourcoatisreallybeautiful.PROisADJNPThatsawonderfulwallcalendar.PROVOYoudeservebeinghonored.IlikeNPIlikethispicture.33C&EMore Chinese compliments begin with “you” or “your”; while English compliments with “I”. More English compliments cont
28、ain exaggerated adjectives like great, awesome, terrific, gorgeous, fabulous, smart34Dontpraisepeople,only,whattheydoMakepraiseasspecificaspossibleAvoidphony(假的假的)praiseAvoidpraisethatsetsupcompetitionHowToGiveAGoodCompliment35A-Accurate:Thecomplimenthastoaccuratelyrefertowhathashappenedandwhatthepe
29、rsonhasdone.BBelievable:Thecomplimentshouldnotbeanexaggerationbutrealistic.CConstructive:Thecomplimentshouldrefertowhatthepersonwantstoachieveandbeusefulformakingprogress.362) Back up your compliment.Dontjuststopat“thatnecklacelooksreallygoodonyou”.Yourcomplimentbecomesstrongerwhenyousaywhyyouthinks
30、o;“thatnecklacelooksreallygoodonyoubecause it matches your eyes”.1) Make your compliment specific.“Thatnecklacelooksreallygoodonyou”makesabigger impactcomparedto“youlookreallygoodtoday”.Themorespecificthebetter,itmakesthepersonfeellikeyounoticethem.373) Ask a question with your compliment.Andifyouwa
31、nttouseitasaconversationalstarter,askaquestionaboutthesubjectofyourcompliment;“thatnecklacelooksreallygoodonyoubecauseitmatchesyoureyes.Where did you find it?”.Letmesay,youlookterrific,yoursenseofstyleisspot-on.Are you a designer of some sort?38ResponseFormulasofEandCcomplimentsAmericanEnglishA:This
32、isreallyanicesweater.B:Imgladyoulikeit.A:Youdidagoodjob.B:Thankyou/Thanks.Chinese:A:Yoursweaterisverygood.B:Iboughtitonlyfortenyuan.A:Youdidthejobverywell.B:Thatstheresultofjointefforts./Theresstillmuchroomforimprovement.39Generallyspeaking,nativeEnglishspeakerstendtoacceptthecomplimentswhiletheChin
33、esetendtoeffacethemselvesinwordsalthoughtheydofeelcomfortableaboutthecompliments.Sometimeshumorousresponsescouldbeusedwhenwithintimatefriends.40Westernersusuallyacceptcomplimentsgladly.thanks.thatissokind(regardingadress)thankyou.Igotitasapresent.41PeoplefromEastern culturetrytoreducetheextentofthec
34、omplimentandalwayswanttoappear inferiortoothers.“Yourdresslooksgreat.”No, its not. Your dress is better than mine.42InChineseculture,whenyouarepaidacompliment,itiscustomarytodeflect转移转移thecomplimentbyspeaking badly of oneself:Youareverygoodatthepiano!Well, I can only play a few songs.Youdidagreatjob
35、!No, it was the efforts of everyone supporting me that made it possible.43Englishcomplimentsresponses1赞同型同型（西方国家多数人听到恭（西方国家多数人听到恭维后采用后采用这种种类型的回型的回应）（1）接受恭接受恭维，心安理得，心安理得欣欣赏对方方对自己的恭自己的恭维A:Ireallylikethatshirt.B:Thanks./Thankyou./(Smile)加以解加以解释、评论A:Ilikeyourlonghair.B:Me,too./Thanks,itsmyfavorite,too.赞
36、美升美升级A:Well,youhaveagreathaircut.B:ThatsbecauseIhavethegreatesthairdresserintheworld.（2）叙述来叙述来历，不，不厌其其烦A:Ilikeyourshoes.Theyarecute.B:Igotthesetwoyearsago.Mydressshoesworeout,soIwenttothemallwith$20andgotthese.44（3）转移目移目标，暗自接受恭，暗自接受恭维不直接回答不直接回答对方的恭方的恭维，而是重述一句，暗含，而是重述一句，暗含对恭恭维的接受的接受A:Thatsbeautifulne
37、cklace.B:Itwasmygrandmothers.用同用同样的恭的恭维回敬回敬对方方A:Ilikeyourshirt,Sharon.B:Thanks,Deb.Ilikeyours,too.2反反对型型（1）降格，即暗示降格，即暗示对方的恭方的恭维有不适之有不适之词A:Hey,thatsareallynicecar.B:Youshouldhaveseenittwoyearsagowhenitwasnew.Itdidnthavethedents(凹痕凹痕)then.(2)质疑疑A:Nicesweater.B:Doyoureallythinkso?/What?Areyoukidding?/Y
38、oulikeit?45婉婉转接受，而后用接受，而后用though,but,well等等词引入否定含引入否定含义的回的回应A:Youlookgoodinamoustache.B:Yeah,butititches.Itsallright,butLeosisnicer.(3)不接受不接受不不赞成成A:Yourhairlooksgood.B:Itstooshort./Ihateit.(4)不置可否不置可否（不接（不接话茬，或沉默）茬，或沉默）A:Thatsabeautifulsweater.B:Didyoufinishtheassignmentfortoday?/(Silence)3其他型其他型（将（
39、将对方的恭方的恭维当作一种要求）当作一种要求）A:Thatsanicebike.B:Well,youcanborrowitanytime./Letmeknowifyouwanttoborrowit.46Cultural assumptions“Ones sugar may be another ones poison”.How do think of this saying?What is “assumption”?What is “cultural assumption”?47CulturalAssumption“Good”referstooneshealth,appearanceandma
40、nnerinbothEandCcultures“Losingweight”meansgoodinEculturebutnotgoodinCculture“puttingonweight”canbeacomplimenttoChinesebutoffensivetoAmericans48CaseStudy1Story:AChinesegovernmentofficialwenttovisitanEnglishdiplomatwithhiswifeandaninterpreter.Aftertheroutinegreetings,theEnglishdiplomatsaidtotheofficia
41、l,“Yourwifeisverypretty.”Theofficialresponded,“哪里，哪里，哪里哪里”todenythefact.Thetheinterpretertranslateditas,“Notatall!”Thediplomatwasastonishedandsaid,“Ofcoursesheis.”Hearingthisreply,theofficialwasveryannoyed,asheconsidereditaninsultaccordingtohisownculturalbackground.Q1:WhatdoyouthinkoftheChineseoffic
42、ialsresponsetothecompliment?Q2:Whatwouldyouranswerbetoit?49CaseStudy2LiHongisanewteacherinamiddleschool.Oneday,oneofherChinesecolleagues,YangZhen,introduceshertotheirmiddle-agedexpatriateteacherMaggy.Yang:LiHong,thisisMaggy,ourEnglishteacherfromAmerica.AndMaggy,thisisLiHong,ournewcolleague.LiandMagg
43、y:Howdoyoudo!Maggy:Yoursweaterissosmart.Li:Oh,itisonlyanoldone.Iboughtitlastyear.Maggy:Youresoyoungandsmart.Iamsureyouareagoodteacher.Li:No,no.Iamjustanewcomer.Ishouldlearnfromyouoldteachers.Maggylookssurprisedandthinks,“Iamreallysoold?”50CaseStudy3YangyanghasinvitedaCanadianfriend,Julia,toherhomefo
44、rameal.Unfortunately,theoccasiongetsofftoaratherbumpystart.YangYang:Hi,Julia,welcome!Comein,comein!Julia:Thankyouforinvitingme.Thisisalovelyroom.YangYang:Myroomisverysamllanduntidy.Pleasesitdownandhaveacupoftea.Youmustbetiredonsuchahotday.Julia:Oh,yourroomisperfectlycleanandtidy!Andasforthewalk,Imve
45、rystrong,youknow.Iusuallywalkforatleastanhoureveryday.Dontyouthinkwalkingisagoodwaytokeepfit?YangYang:Yes,Ido.Dinnerisready.Pleasesitatthetable.Julia:Wow!Somanydishesfour!Theyalllookdelicious.YangYang:ImsorryImnotaverygoodcook.Theseareallcolddishes.51Lateroninthemeal,justbeforetheyfinishthecolddishe
46、s,fourhotdishesareplacedonthetable.Julia:Anotherfour!Theresonlytwoofuseating.YangYang:Nevermind,pleasetrymore.IamsorryIhavepreparedsolittle.Ifthereweremorepeople,therewouldbeeightcolddishesandeighthotdishes,becauseyouaremydistinguishedguest.Julia:No,itsnottoolittle.Itsmorethanenough,“Goule,Goule.”Q1
47、:WhyisJuliasurprised?Whatswrongwithherconversation?Q2:HowcanYangYangbeabetterhosttoherCanadianguestsoshecanhelpherlearnaboutChineseculture?52CaseStudyAppropriateMannerYangYang:Hi,Julia,welcome!Comein,comein!Julia:Thankyouforinvitingme.Thisisalovelyroom.YangYang:Thankyou.Pleasehaveaseat.Wouldyoulikea
48、cupoftea?Julia:Yes,Iwould.YangYang:Wasitdifficulttofindmyplace?Julia:No,yourdirectionswereveryhelpful.YangYang:ItsonlyMay,butitsquitehotoutsidetoday.Howlongdidittakeyoutocomehere?Julia:Itonlytook30minutestogethere.Youreright,itishot,butIdontmindthehotsun.YangYang:Yes,Ido.Dinnerisready.Pleasesitatthe
49、table.Julia:Wow!Somanydishesfour!Theyalllookdelicious.53CaseStudyAppropriateMannerYangYang:Thankyou.Ipreparedthembymyself.Ihopeyoulikethem.Pleasehelpyourself.Julia:Theyredelicious.IdoenjoyChinesefoods.YangYang:Imgladyoulikethem.Butleavesomeroomforanotherfourhotdishes.Julia:Really?Anotherfour!Thisisa
50、realfeast!YangYang:Youreright.YouknowinChina,numbershavesignificance,eventhenumberoffooddishesweserveaguest.Weprepareevennumbersbutnotthesingularones.Thefigure“eight”isaluckynumberinChinese,andtwosetsofeightdisheswouldbepreparedfordistinguishedguests.IamsorryIdidntpreparethatmanyforyoumydistinguishe
51、dguest.Julia:ButIthoughtitwouldreallybetoomuchfood.Whenthereareonlytwopeopleeating,fourhotdishesplusfourcolddishesisconsideredafeast.Ifeelhonoredindeed.Howsweetyouare!54III.ExpressionsofgratitudeandapologyTheexpressionsarefarmorefrequentlyusedinEnglishthaninChinese.Chineseoftenneglectminorfavorsespe
52、ciallyamongfriendsandmembersoffamily.Theythinktheexpressionsofgratitudeandapologyunnecessaryandeventiresome.55SomespecialChineseexpressionsItdoesntmatter.没关系没关系Nevermind.不要紧不要紧（responsestoapology）Yourewelcome.不用谢不用谢Itsmypleasure.没关系没关系（responsestogratitude）56ExercisesA. Comprehension Check 1.T2.T3.T
53、4.F5.T6.F7.F8.F9.F10.TB. Match the Euphemisms nether garments lunatic Call your carriage for you a man of bad tastePlain a prostitute Patient trousers A man of doubtful taste ugly A lady of the town ask you to go away5757ExerciseE(AllofthefollowinganswersapplyonlyintheU.S.)1.In this situation, it wo
54、uld not be necessary to give a gift, particularly if you have been paying for the private classes with the tutor. If you like, you might bring something to the last class, such as candy or flowers. 2.In this situation, it is definitely not an American practice to bring a gift to the supervisor. It i
55、s the supervisors job to supervise you. You have worked hard to earn the excellent review. If you gave him or her a gift, the supervisor might misunderstand. 5858ExerciseE(AllofthefollowinganswersapplyonlyintheU.S.)3. In this situation, a teacher would not expect a gift, but would expect you to than
56、k him or her sincerely for the extra time spent. Most likely, the teachers reward would come from your understanding the difficult subject.4. In this situation, your co-worker does not expect a present from someone he or she doesnt know well and it might even make him or her uncomfortable to receive
57、 one. Rather than giving individual presents, it is more usual for co-workers to buy a gift collectively. That is, each person contributes some money and one person buys a gift with the money. 5959ExerciseE(AllofthefollowinganswersapplyonlyintheU.S.)5. In this situation, it would be a nice gesture t
58、o give a gift to your neighbor or to invite your neighbors family over for a meal. 6. See 5. 6060ExerciseFCulturalPuzzles1.a) No. You need to understand the reasons why your boss doesnt accept the gift instead of threaten him or her. b) Yes. This would show that you respect him or her. It would also
59、 show that you are open-minded. c) No. You can try to encourage the other person to accept the gift by offering it twice or three times at the most. Insisting many times might cause the person to become angry.6161ExerciseF2. a) No. Joe would probably not apologize because, from his point of view, he
60、 may not feel that he has done anything wrong. If Gary had asked Joe not to go out with Jennifer before because he was interested in her, Joe might have apologized.b) Yes. This is very possible. Joe might also have said, “You should have asked me not to go out with her. We didnt agree on anything.”c
61、) Yes. This is also possible. Sometimes people react quickly and angrily when someone says so directly, “Im angry at you. ”6262IV.SummaryComplimentsandresponsesDifferencesbetweenChineseandEnglishcomplimentsResponseFormulasofEandCcomplimentsExpressionsofgratitudeandapologyinEnglishandChinese63V.Assignments1.Roleplay1)Theguestcomplimentsthemeal2)Youreatapartywithotherstudentsfromtheuniversity.Youdontknowanybodyandyoudliketomeetafewpeopleandstartaconversation.2.VideoWatchingUSA走遍美国走遍美国6465
