《英语考试作文-专八作文之范文赏析_2》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《英语考试作文-专八作文之范文赏析_2（5页珍藏版）》请在金锄头文库上搜索。
1、英语考试作文英语考试作文专八作文之范文赏析专八作文之范文赏析题目：题目：How to Improve Students Mental HealthHow to Improve Students Mental Health写作要求写作要求Nowadays some college students suffer from mentalNowadays some college students suffer from mentaldiseases and even commit suicide. How to improve studentsdiseases and even commit su
2、icide. How to improve students mentalmental healthhealth hashas nownow becomebecome a a hothot topic.topic. WhatWhat s s youryoursuggestion?suggestion?WriteWrite onon AnswerAnswer SheetSheet TwoTwo a a compositioncomposition ofof aboutabout 200200words on the following topic:words on the following t
3、opic:How to Improve StudentsHow to Improve Students Mental Health Mental HealthYou are to write in three parts.You are to write in three parts.In the rst part, state speci cally what your ideaIn the rst part, state speci cally what your ideais.is.InIn thethe secondsecond part,part, provideprovide re
4、asonsreasons toto supportsupport youryouropinion OR describe your idea.opinion OR describe your idea.In the last part, bring what you have written to aIn the last part, bring what you have written to anatural conclusion or a summary.natural conclusion or a summary.Marks will be awarded for content,
5、organization,Marks will be awarded for content, organization,grammargrammarandandappropriateness.appropriateness.FailureFailuretotofollowfollowthetheinstructions may result in a loss of marks.instructions may result in a loss of marks.审题思路审题思路本题是一道典型的问题解决本题是一道典型的问题解决/ /建议型的题目，从题目到写建议型的题目，从题目到写作要求都明确
6、说明文章要围绕如何提高学生的精神健康来写，作要求都明确说明文章要围绕如何提高学生的精神健康来写， 通常可通常可以从以从 以下几方面着手：以下几方面着手：1.1. 从社会层面来看，教育体制上应该给学生更为宽松的从社会层面来看，教育体制上应该给学生更为宽松的环境，使学生能全面发展；环境，使学生能全面发展；2.2. 从学校层面来看，学校应关注学生的身心健康，设立从学校层面来看，学校应关注学生的身心健康，设立心理工作室等，进行心理问题的预防和辅导；心理工作室等，进行心理问题的预防和辅导；3.3. 从家长层面来看，家长应时常关心孩子的心理想法，从家长层面来看，家长应时常关心孩子的心理想法，而不是只注重学
7、习成绩；而不是只注重学习成绩；4.4. 从学生层面来看，学生自己应该适当了解一些心理常从学生层面来看，学生自己应该适当了解一些心理常识，开发多种兴趣，能自我纾解负面情绪识，开发多种兴趣，能自我纾解负面情绪 。以上这些方面并不意味着在一篇文章中都要涉及以上这些方面并不意味着在一篇文章中都要涉及 ，只要，只要从其中一两个方面提出建议并详细陈述理由即可。从其中一两个方面提出建议并详细陈述理由即可。范文赏析范文赏析How to Improve StudentsHow to Improve Students Mental Health Mental HealthStudentsStudents ment
8、al health, an issue neglected for mental health, an issue neglected forlong, has now gained increasing public concern . As to how tolong, has now gained increasing public concern . As to how toimprove it, heated discussions are right on their way. As farimprove it, heated discussions are right on th
9、eir way. As farasas I Im m concerned,concerned, thethe universityuniversity shouldshould setset upup a a mentalmental healthhealthworkshop to improve studentsworkshop to improve students psychological health. It psychological health. It s snecessary for the following reasons.necessary for the follow
10、ing reasons.引言部分：引言部分：作者先复述题干中的背景，作者先复述题干中的背景，然后直抒胸臆：然后直抒胸臆：大大学应成立心理工作室，学应成立心理工作室， 并以并以 forfor thethe followingfollowing reasonsreasons 引出下文。引出下文。ForFor oneone thing,thing, manymany problemsproblems ofof mentalmental disorderdisorder maymaybe nipped in the bud . Many students may find it hard to dea
11、lbe nipped in the bud . Many students may find it hard to dealwithwith pressurepressure fromfrom studystudy andand personalpersonal relationships,relationships, andandthereforetherefore pains,pains, puzzlespuzzles andand frustrationfrustration maymay arisearise . . heheworkshopworkshop willwill bebe
12、 a a placeplace forfor thethe youngyoung peoplepeople toto releaserelease theirtheirpressurepressure byby talkingtalking itit away8away8 withwith teachersteachers there.there. InIn thethemeantimemeantime , , teachersteachers maymay havehave a a chancechance toto detectdetect signssigns ofofpsycholog
13、icalpsychologicalproblemsproblemsininadvanceadvanceandandtaketakeprecautiousprecautiousmeasuresmeasures accordingly.accordingly. ForFor another,another, studentsstudents maymay knowknow somesome wayswaystoto improveimprove theirtheir mentalmental health.health. IfIf thethe expertsexperts ofof thethe
14、 workshopworkshopcan give lectures on regular basis, those students sufferingcan give lectures on regular basis, those students sufferingfrom mental disturbances will know what to do and face theirfrom mental disturbances will know what to do and face theirproblems bravely.problems bravely.主体部分主体部分
15、：作者以：作者以 for one thingfor one thing和和 for anotherfor another 引出引出两个原因，而且用短句点题两个原因，而且用短句点题 ，用长句解释，长短结合，非常恰当。，用长句解释，长短结合，非常恰当。另外近义词的使用也给文章增加了变化性另外近义词的使用也给文章增加了变化性 ，如如 mentalmental ， illnessillness ，diseasedisease，disturbancedisturbance 等等 。如果有三个或以上的原因，如果有三个或以上的原因，可以参考使可以参考使用以下几组词用以下几组词 ：To begin withT
16、o begin with，thenthen，furthermore finallyfurthermore finally；ToTostartstart withwith，nextnext，inin additionaddition，finallyfinally；FirstFirst andand foremostforemost，besidesbesides，last but not leastlast but not least ；Most important of allMost important of all ，moreovermoreoverfinallyfinally。FromFr
17、om thethe factorsfactors mentionedmentioned above,above, wewe maymay safelysafely drawdrawthe conclusion that a mental health workshop can play a vitalthe conclusion that a mental health workshop can play a vitalrole in studentsrole in students daily life and help to protect them from daily life and
18、 help to protect them frommental illness.mental illness.总结部分：作者用总结部分：作者用 from the factors mentioned above from the factors mentioned above自然结尾，并再次重申自己的观点，与开头部分呼应。自然结尾，并再次重申自己的观点，与开头部分呼应。亮点回放亮点回放1. neglect:1. neglect: “忽视”“忽视” ；近义词有；近义词有 ignoreignore（有意忽视（有意忽视 ）和和 overlookoverlook ，此处，此处 an issue neg
19、lected for longan issue neglected for long用作插入语，起用作插入语，起同位语的作用同位语的作用 。2.2. publicpublic concernconcern : : “公众的关注”“公众的关注” ；在表示；在表示 “引起“引起普遍关注普遍关注/ /重视”时重视”时 ，常用，常用 arouse/gain public/ popular concernarouse/gain public/ popular concern这一词组这一词组 。3.3. onon theirtheir way:way: “在路上”“在路上” ；此处表示“激烈的讨论正；此处
20、表示“激烈的讨论正在展开”的意思在展开”的意思 。4.4. disorder:disorder: “混乱，失调，不适，疾病”“混乱，失调，不适，疾病” ；此处与下文；此处与下文的的 disturbancedisturbance，problemproblem 为近义词为近义词 。5. be nipped in the bud:5. be nipped in the bud:“被消灭于萌芽状态”“被消灭于萌芽状态” 。6. puzzle:6. puzzle: “困惑，难题”“困惑，难题”；近义词有；近义词有confusionconfusion ，bewildermentbewilderment，w
21、orryworry 等等 。7. arise:7. arise: “出现，产生”“出现，产生” ；常用于指抽象事物的产生，；常用于指抽象事物的产生，常用搭配为常用搭配为 arise fromarise from 。8. talk it away:8. talk it away:通常通常 talk awaytalk away 作不及物动词用作不及物动词用 ，表，表示“不停地讲”示“不停地讲” ，这里是指“通过谈话将压力消除”，这里是指“通过谈话将压力消除” 。9.9. inin thethe meantime:meantime: “与此“与此 同时”同时” ；近义词有；近义词有 atat the
22、thesame timesame time ，in the meanwhilein the meanwhile 等等 。10.10. detect:detect:“发觉，“发觉， 察觉”察觉” ； 比简单使用比简单使用 findfind 要要 出彩出彩 。11.11.accordingly:accordingly:“ 相相 应应 地地 ”； 也也 可可 以以 使使 用用correspondinglycorrespondingly 来替换来替换 。12.12. onon regularregular basis:basis: “常规地“常规地 ，经常地”，经常地” ；比简单；比简单使用使用 often/usuallyoften/usually 好好 。13.13. disturbance:disturbance: “扰乱，骚动”“扰乱，骚动” ；此处指精神上的困；此处指精神上的困惑，与上文的惑，与上文的 disorderdisorder 为近义词为近义词 。14.14. safelysafely : : “安全地”“安全地” ； 此处表示此处表示 “毫无“毫无 问题地”问题地” ，we can safely draw the conclusion that.we can safely draw the conclusion that. 是常用的结尾句式是常用的结尾句式 。
