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1、这是之前比较火的一篇由一个居住在瑞士的加拿大人写的吐槽文，甚至网上后来还衍生了一个词“Mother Fucking Swiss”麻痹瑞。瑞士人奇葩一般的存在着。I have an acronym for situations like this - Mother Fucking Swiss. I love/hate these people.我对瑞士人有一个缩写麻痹瑞。我对这个民族真是又爱又恨。 You park a bit crooked, but still inside the lines, and the neighbors call the police！MFS你停车停得有点歪但还是
2、在线里，然后下一秒，邻居就叫来了警察！麻痹瑞。Youre training for a triathlon, cycling top speed, and get passed by a man in a suit on a mountain bike！MFS你在训练三项全能，骑车到最高速的时候，旁边一个穿着西装去上班的男人骑着自行车轻松超过你。麻痹瑞。 A (rare) homeless man hits you up for change, and it turns out that he speaks 5 languages！ MFS一个流浪汉（极其罕见）向你讨要零钱，然后你发现他会五国
3、语言。麻痹瑞。Youre meeting friends in a strange town and your phone dies, so you ask in bars and hotels whether you can use theirs, and every single person looks at you like an alien; they cant even comprehend the level of disorganization that would result in an unexpectedly dead phone, and all refuse you
4、 help, thinking it must be some kind of trick！ MFS你和你朋友约在一个陌生的地方见面，但是你的手机没电了，如果你进去某个酒吧或者酒店里问他们是否能让你打个电话，他们会用看外星人的眼光看着你他们无法想象一个人生活居然可以这么没有计划，连手机没电这种事情都没预先计划好。然后就拒绝借用电话。麻痹瑞。Youre applying for an apartment with a garden, and ask if you can plant in it too. You know, some tomatoes, a pumpkin, whatever.
5、The Corbusier-looking mother *er sucks his teeth and then finally saysperhaps. if you can prove geometrically that these plants would be elegant additions to the overall theme of the space. MMMFFFFSSSS你租个一个带花园的房子，问你的房东是否可以在后院里种些南瓜，西红柿什么的，她会说。可以吧，如果你能证明这些东西长成后不会破坏总体的空间和外观和谐度。麻麻麻麻痹瑞。Climbing a terrify
6、ing ridge and get passed by a heavily pregnantwoman, annoyed at your slowness. MFS攀爬一座很险的山时，被一个大着肚子的孕妇超了过去，还念念有词说你怎么这么慢。麻痹瑞 Use the bones from your chicken to make stock and get greeted with confused scorn. What is this guy, poor? MFS用鸡骨头熬汤，结果大家都用困惑和鄙夷的眼光看着你。这家伙怎么回事？没钱吗？麻痹瑞Hear about a bar ,which us
7、ed to be cool, but is now “filled with students and foreigners “. Oh, you mean people like me ?MFS听人提起一个酒吧，说过去很棒的，但是现在尽是些学生和外国人了。哦，怪我咯？麻痹瑞The bar closes at 12:00. At 11:55 the bar tender announces last call, at 11:59:59 the last patron leaves the door, and at 12:00:01 the police appear. MFS酒吧12点关门，1
8、1点55分的时候酒吧会提醒说最后一次点酒，11点59分59秒的时候最后一个顾客离开，12点01分的时候如果还不关门警察就出现。麻痹瑞。You hike up to a high alpine cabin. The other (swiss) climbers,in perfect unison, and without talking about it, sit down to eat, consume their bread, soup, and cheese in the same order, start their Ovomaltine together,finish at the s
9、ame time, go in shifts to brush their teeth, and, in total synchronicity hit the sack at precisely 10:00. The next day, without alarms,every person steps out of bed at 6:00, eats breakfast, and is gone by 7:00. You hang out until noon to soak up the incredible scenery and the sole staff membersubtly
10、 mocks your hiking plans with his eyebrow and tone. Ze col de laForcla in zose boots!? MFS你和其他瑞士人一起去骑行，他们在度假屋休息吃饭的时候，很有默契的完全一句话没说就各自坐好，然后点了一样的面包，汤还有芝士。然后一起同时吃完，轮流有序去刷牙，10点准时上床睡觉。第二天全部6点准时起床，吃早餐，然后7点全走了。你睡过头了一直睡到中午，度假屋工作人员还会用眉毛和语调嘲笑你的骑行计划。麻痹瑞。You: We should get moving if were going to catch that trai
11、n.MFS: What? Why? The train leaves in 13 minutes and its only a 7 minute walk,or 9.5 if you stop to buy cigarettes.你：我们要快点走了，不然赶不及火车。麻痹瑞：为啥？火车13分钟后才会开，我们走路7分钟就到了，即使你停下买包香烟，那也才9分半钟。MFS:Hey, can I talk to you about a trip to Canada in January? You:Ok, its a bit early for flights and stuff but it pays
12、in advance that is supposed. wait. January of what year? MFS: 2015.麻痹瑞：我可以和你谈谈一月的时候去加拿大旅游的事吗？你：现在订机票还有点早，不过早点付款也不错的。等等是哪年的一月？麻痹瑞：2015年（文章发表于两年前）Swiss boss: Lets meet at the hotel in Munich (300 km away) at8:25 pm. And we did.麻痹瑞老板：我们早上8点25分在德国慕尼黑（距离300公里）的酒店碰面吧。然后真的准时到达。You buy some lard (smoked bac
13、on, meant to be eaten uncooked) at the farmers market. Its good raw, but you want to try it fried.Your co-worker smells it from his office, suspects what youre up to, and bursts into the kitchen yelling You cannot DO zis! MFS你在农产品市场里买了一些熏肉，可以生吃的，但你想试试炒一下。你的同事闻到了气味然后报警，警察冲进你的厨房制止你：你不能这么做！麻痹瑞。The used
14、 bike is 485 francs. I offer 400. Long stare. My price, I think, reflects the actual quality of the frame, components, and labor. MFS二手车价格485法郎，你还价400。麻痹瑞：“我的这个价格，我觉得，体现了车的材料，设计工艺和劳力价格，所以是合理的”。麻痹瑞。Im from Canada, have you been? Oh, on a small trip, I spent one month by bicycle in Quebec, and then bo
15、ught a motorhome and drove tovancouver - what a long drive! I loved the open prairies - and then sold the motorhome and spent the next weeks skiing. Whistler was nice but I prefer Chamonix for the aprs ski culture. Tell me, is the climbing in Squamish asgood as they say? And how do you compare Big White with Whistler? And do you prefer New York, Montreal, or San Francisco? I found things to love about each place. I. I, uh, Ive never been to any of those places. MFS“我来自加拿大，你去过加拿大了吗？”麻痹瑞：“额。只去过一小段时间呢。我用了一个月在魁北克省（加拿大地点，下同）骑行，然后买了个房车开着去温哥华，开了很久！我喜欢沿途的草原。然后我卖了房车，花了一个星期去滑雪。惠斯勒是不错但我还是更喜欢霞慕尼的滑雪文化。对了，
