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1、Season 1, Episode 01: Pilot - MARY ALICE: My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this mornings paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, theres never anything newsworthy about my life. That all changed last Thursday. Of course everything seemed as nor
2、mal at first. I made my breakfast for my family. I performed my chores. I completed my projects. I ran my errands. In truth, I spent the day as I spend every other day quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection. Thats why it was so astonishing when I decided to go to m
3、y hallway closet to retrieve a revolver that had never been used. - MARY ALICE: My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs. Martha Huber, who had been startled by a strange popping sound. Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping in on me unannounced. After some initi
4、al hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had borrowed from me six months before.-MRS HUBER: Its my neighbor. I think shes been shot, theres blood everywhere. Yes, youve got to send an ambulance. Youve got to send one right now! -MARY ALICE: And for a moment, Mrs. Huber stood motionless i
5、n her kitchen grief-stricken by this senseless tragedy.But, only for a moment. If there was one thing Mrs. Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side. I was laid to rest on a Monday. After the funeral, all the residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respects. And as peop
6、le do in this situation, they brought food. Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken. Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken. Of course, she didnt cook much as she was moving up the corporate ladder. She didnt have the time. But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant, her husband Tom
7、 had an idea. Why not quit your job? Kids do much better with stay-at-home mums; it was so much less stressful. But this was not the case. In fact, Lynettes life had become so hectic she was now forced to get her chicken from a fast food restaurant. Lynette would have appreciated the irony of it if
8、she stopped to think about it, but she couldnt. She didnt have the time. -LYNETTE: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Stop it, stop it, stop it. Stop it. -PRESTON: But Mom! -LYNETTE: No, you are going to behave today. I am not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And, just so you know how se
9、rious I am. -PRESTON: Whats that?-LYNETTE: Santas cell-phone number. -PORTER: Howd you get that? -LYNETTE: I know someone, who knows someone, who knows an elf. And if anyone of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas. You willing to risk that? -SCAVO kids
10、: Uh-uh! (all shake their heads vehemently) -LYNETTE: Okay. Lets get this over with. -MARY ALICE: Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block, brought a spicy paella. Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed a taste for rich food and rich men. Carlos, who worked in mergers and acqu
11、isitions, proposed on their third date. Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up in his eyes. But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal. Gabrielle liked her paella piping hot. However, her relationship with her husband was considerably cooler. -CARLOS: If you talk t
12、o Al Mason at this thing, I want you to casually mention how much I paid for your necklace. -GABRIELLE: Why dont I just pin the receipt to my chest? -CARLOS: He let me know how much he paid for his wifes new convertible. Look, just work it into the conversation. -GABRIELLE: Theres no way I can just
13、work that in, Carlos. -CARLOS: Why not? At the Donohue party, everyone was talking about mutual funds. And you found a way to mention you slept with half the Yankee outfield. -GABRIELLE: Im telling you, it came up in the context of the conversation. -CARLOS: Hey, people are starting to stare. Can yo
14、u keep your voice down please? -GABRIELLE: (sigh) Absolutely. Wouldnt want them to think were not happy. -MARY ALICE: Bree Van De Kamp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. Bree was known for her cooking. And for making her own clothes. And for doing her own garden
15、ing. And for reupholstering her own furniture. Yes, Brees many talents were known throughout the neighborhood. And everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as the perfect wife and mother. Everyone, that is, except her own family. -BREE: Paul, Zachary. Paul， Zachary。 -ZACH: Hello Mrs. Van De Kamp. -
16、PAUL: Bree, you shouldnt have gone to all this trouble. -BREE: It was no trouble at all. Now the basket with the red ribbon is filled with desserts for your guests. But the one with the blue ribbon is just for you and Zachary. Its got rolls, muffins, breakfast type things. -PAUL: Thank you. -BREE: Well, the least I could do is make sure you boys had a decent meal to look forwar
