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1、趣味英语:笑话三则篇一：英语幽默小笑话六篇 ? 英语幽默小笑话六篇 ? frog 青蛙 Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, Now Iapos;ll show you this frog in my pocket. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, Thatapos;s funny. I dis
2、tinctly remember eating my lunch. 老师正在给学生上生物课：“现在，我将要给你们看我袋子里的这只青蛙。”接着，他把手伸进口袋，却拿出了一份鸡肉三文治。老师满脸困惑地看了一眼，沉思了一会儿，说道：“真奇怪。我明明记得我已经把午饭吃掉了。” 人们什么时候说话最少？ Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom? 老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么? Tom: Men. 汤姆:男人们。 Teacher: Good. And the plural of child? 老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢? Tom : Twin
3、s. 汤姆: 双胞胎。 谁欠谁钱 A lawyerapos;s dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyerapos;s office and asks, If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dogapos;s owner? The
4、lawyer answers, Absolutely. Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today. The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation. 律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来
5、到一家肉店，偷走了一块 烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗？律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写 道：咨询费250美元。I Have His Ear in My Pocket I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, What happened? A kid
6、bit me, replied Ivan. Would you recognize him if you saw him again? asked his mother. Iapos;d know him any where, said Ivan. I have his ear in my pocket.他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。 “再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” Give up your seat to a lady给女士让座 Little Jo
7、hnny says Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Youapos;ve done the right thing, says Mommy. But Mommy, I was sitting on daddyapos;s lap. 小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。” 妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。” “但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。” What Was It She Wanted？ A store manage
8、r heard a clerk tell a customer“No，maam， we havenapos;t had any for a while， and it doesnapos;t look asif weapos;ll be getting soon” Horrified，the manager came runningover to the customer and said，“Of course， weapos;ll have somesoon， We placed an order last week” Then the manager drewthe clerk aside
9、：“Never， never， never say we are out of anythingsay weapos;ve got it on order and itapos;s coming Now whatwas it she wanted？” “Rain” said the clerk 一个商店经理听见一个店员对顾客说：“不，夫人，这会儿没有，一时半会儿看来也不会有。”经理惊恐万分地跑到顾客跟前说：“当然，马上就会有的。我们上周订了货。”然后经理把店员拉到一边：“千万，千万，千万不要说我们没有什么说我们已经订了货，货马上就到。现在你说她要买什么？” “雨，”店员说。篇二：英语幽默笑话带
10、翻译 英语幽默笑话带翻译 1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead.said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: Im not dead. Im still alive. Be q
11、uiet, said the wife. the doctor knows better than you! 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:我想他伤得很厉害.医生说:我怕他已经死了.听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:我没死,我还活着.妻子说:安静,医生比你懂得多. 2:You cant go without me The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. Hey,let me get on the bus.the man shouts. I
12、ts too crowded.Youd better take the next bus.a passenger says to him. But you cant go withou me.Im the driver.the man says. 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. 喂,让我上车!那位男士喊道. 车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆车上的一位乘客对他说. 但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!那位男士说道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, t
13、he boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, Whats the meaning of the word Drunk, dad? Well, my son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk. But, dad, the boy said, theres only
14、ONE policeman! 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，醉字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left th
15、e room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guests plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 5:Dear white, something you got to know .When I was born,
