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1、LOGOScientific Paper WritingPartIAnalysisofGrammaticalandStylisticErrorsI. Comma Splice (I. Comma Splice (逗号叠加逗号叠加逗号叠加逗号叠加) )False：（1）Technologyneverexistsinvacuum,itisembodiedinproducts,processes,andpeople.（2）Stevensonsromancesareentertaining,theyarefullofexcitingadventures.Correct:(1)vacuum;itis(2
2、)entertaining,fortheyareTips:Commacannotbeusedbetweentwocompletesentences.Ifthecontentsofthetwosentencesareconnected,wemayusesemicolon“;”Orweuselinkingwords.II. Choppy Style(II. Choppy Style(文体紊乱文体紊乱文体紊乱文体紊乱) )Sample1:Firstdraft:WehaveestablishedacommunicationsSystems(CS)PlanningTeam(1).Thisteamincl
3、udesuserrepresentativesfromeachofthe12departmentsintheForever-SealDivision（2）.Weholdregularmeetingstoassessstate-of-the-art-communicationsequipment(3).Wediscusshownewproductsarebeingusedbyothercompanies(4).Atthesemeetings,Theuserrepresentativesdescribetheirotherfutureneeds(5).Theyalsoworkouttheirreq
4、uirementsforthenewcommunicationnetwork（6）.Correctone:WehaveestablishedacommunicationsSystems(CS)PlanningTeamwhichincludesdivision.Weholdregularmeetingstoassessstate-of-the-artcommunicationsequipmentandtodiscusshownewproducts.Atthesemeetings,theuserrepresentativesdescribetheirotherfutureneedsandworko
5、uttheirrequirementsforthenewcommunicationnetwork.Exercise:ElectriccarsmustbeabletomeetthesamesafetystandardsthatgasolinecarsmustmeetassetupbytheDepartmentofTransportation.Thesestandardsarederivedfromanestablishedcrashtest.Inthecrashtest,thecarispropelledagainstasolidwallat30mph.Thedataobtainedfromth
6、ecrashtestareanalyzedforfuelspillage,fuelsystemintegrity,windshieldretention(挡风玻璃残留挡风玻璃残留),andzoneintrusion.Sample2:Theproposedsystemisrequiredtoalleviate(减轻减轻)theincreaseindemandbyusingthemicrocomputerasastand-aloneentrysystemwithallthenecessarygraphicsandsoftwarecapabilitiestoremovetheburdenofData
7、entryfromthepresentsystemCADDS.Analysis:Thisisalonginexplicablesentence.Topicsentence:要求拟建的系统能缓要求拟建的系统能缓和不得不增加的信息量。和不得不增加的信息量。Development：1.1.方法：去除现有系方法：去除现有系统统CADDSCADDS的数据入口负担而达到要求。的数据入口负担而达到要求。2. 2. 设备：把微机作为独立入口系统来设备：把微机作为独立入口系统来完成。这种微机具有为完成这概念所完成。这种微机具有为完成这概念所要求的所有图表以及软件能力。要求的所有图表以及软件能力。修改方法修改方法
8、：UsebothlongandshortsentencesToexplainthetopicbythewayofgeneral-to-specificUsecohesivedevicestolinktworelatedsentencesCorrect one:Correct one:Theproposedsystemisrequiredtoalleviatetheincreaseindemand.ThesystemwilldothatbyremovingtheburdenofdataentryfromthepresentsystemCADDS.Thisisaccomplishedbyusing
9、themicrocomputerasastand-aloneentrysystem.Themicrocomputerhasallthegraphicsandsoftwarecapabilitiesrequiredtoimplementthisconcept.III. Excessive Use of the Passive III. Excessive Use of the Passive VoiceVoiceRulestofollow:1.Maketheaction-executorclearlyknowne.g.Nowthatthemethodhasbeenmodified,itisuse
10、dtoanalyzethechemicalheatpumpdryer.(作者修改了这作者修改了这个方案，将它用在化学热泵干燥器中。个方案，将它用在化学热泵干燥器中。)（Correct）Nowthatwehavemodifiedthemethod,wecanuseitto2.Thecontentsofsentenceinpassiveshouldbeconsistentwiththefact.e.g.（1）Inindustrymetalsareoftenusedintheformofalloys.（）（2）Fromthesedataitisseenthatremotebatchprocessin
11、gcanprovidebatchprocessingatremotelocations.(远程成批程序能够把成批处远程成批程序能够把成批处理发送到较远的位置。理发送到较远的位置。)（）Analysisof(2):“Itisbelieved”,“itisseen”andalikeusuallymeansfactsacceptedbymostofthepeople.Noteveryonesawthedatamentionedinsentence(2)Correct:Fromthesedataitcanbeseenthatremotebatchprocessingcanprovidebatchpro
12、cessingatremotelocations.3. Avoid Excessive use of the passive voice.Excessive use of passive verbs creates scientific writing that is cumbersome(麻麻烦的烦的, ,苯重的苯重的) and indigestible to read.No more than passive sentences in a paper.With good mixture with active voice may retains the necessary clarity
13、of meaning and propriety of tone for scientific papers.IV. Ambiguous Reference(IV. Ambiguous Reference(指代含指代含指代含指代含混混混混) )When you use pron. or modifier, to be sure that these words can replace the previous nouns.e.g. (First draft）Ground loops associated with coaxial kuksl cables(同轴电缆同轴电缆) are total
14、ly eliminated with fiber optic cables. Because they are dielectric(绝缘体的绝缘体的), they do not attract lightning. Nor do they act as antennas.Analysis:“they”usedabovemayreferto“fiberopticcables”,orto“groundloops”(Correct)Groundloopsassociatedwithcoaxialcablesaretotallyeliminatedwithfiberopticcables.Becau
15、setheyaredielectric,fiberopticcablesdonotattractlightning.Nordotheyactasantennas.(和同轴电缆相连接的接地线圈和同轴电缆相连接的接地线圈完全被光纤电缆所代替。因为光纤电缆完全被光纤电缆所代替。因为光纤电缆是电介质，它不会被闪电电击，也不起是电介质，它不会被闪电电击，也不起天线的作用。天线的作用。)V. Misuse of the linking wordsV. Misuse of the linking wordsErrorsoccurredusually:misuse“afterall”.e.g.Afterall
16、(毕竟毕竟),wecometotheconclusionthatuse“but”and“although”inthesamesentence.Toadd“it”improperlye.g.AsitwasmentionedaboveAsitisshowninfigure12Confusetheuseof“comparingto/with”and“comparedto”or“incomparisonwith”.e.g.Comparingtotheresults和和相仿相仿Comparingtheselatestresultsto/withourearlierones（）Misuse“Conclusively”(有决定性的有决定性的)as“inconclusion”Misuse“particularly”(adv.)分别分别, 详细地详细地as“inparticularly=especially”特别特别,尤其尤其VI. Misleading parallelismVI. Misleading parallelism( (平行结构不平行平行结构不平行平行结构不平行平行结构不平行) )Uses
