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1、本文格式为Word版，下载可任意编辑好笑又带点黄黄的笑话爆笑英语笑话带翻译中英双语爆笑英语笑话带翻译中英双语 爆笑英语笑话 ：Mental deficiency 智力缺陷 Would you mind telling me, Doctor, Bob asked .how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal Nothing is easier, he replied. You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer w
2、ith no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track. Well, What sort of question Well, you might ask him, Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, You wouldnt happen to have another exa
3、mple would you I must confess I dont know much about history. “医生，你能不能报告我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人， 你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢”“再没有比这轻易的了，”医生回复，“问他一 个简朴的问题，简朴到全体人都知道答案，假设他回复得不干脆，那你就知道是 怎么回事了。”“那要问什么样的问题呢”“嗯，你可以这样问，库克船长环球旅行 了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢”鲍勃想了一会儿，慌张 的回复道，“你就不能问另外一个问题吗坦率地说，我对历史了解的不是好多。” 爆笑英语笑话 ：Beware of Dog
4、! 提防有狗 As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, Danger! Beware of dog! posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of he asked the owner. Yep, thats hi
5、m, came the reply. The stranger couldnt help but be amused. That certainly doesnt look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign Because, the owner explained, Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him! 一名目生人走进一家乡间小商店，看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上 写着，“危害! 提防有狗!” 进去后，他看到一条
6、样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款 机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊” 目生人问店主。“是， 就是他”，店主回复。 听到这个回复， 目生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点 都不成怕。 你帖那个告示做什么” “由于，” 店主解释说，“在我帖告示之前， 大 伙老被他绊倒。” 爆笑英语笑话 ：冰箱里的小兔子 A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, What are you doing in there she asked.一位女士开启冰箱门，察觉一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板
7、上，就问 它：“你在那里做什么” The rabbit replied, This is a Westinghouse, isnt it 兔子回复：“这是Westinghouse对不对”(Westinghouse，西屋电气公司) The lady confirmed, Yes. 女士确认道：“没错。” Well, the rabbit said,Im westing. 兔子说：“那就对了，我就是要往西边去。” Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me 兔子：你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的病 Do
8、ctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another. 医生：当然咯，只要喝过的兔子没有一只来要其次瓶的。 Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from 兔宝宝：妈咪，我是从哪儿来的呢 Mother Rabbit: Ill tell you when youre older. 兔妈妈：等你长大点再报告你。 Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now. 兔宝宝：噢妈咪，现在就报告我吧，求您了。 Mother Rabbit: If you must know,
9、you were pulled from a magicians hat. 兔妈妈：假设你确定要知道，那我报告你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽 出来的。 爆笑英语笑话 ：电脑问题I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packards DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldnt solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fin
10、e, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the
11、customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper 我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了，有一天我接 到一位客户的电话，她的问题我没手段解决。她的问题是：打印机不能打出来黄 色，但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷，由于三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我 建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装，但是都没有效果。我接洽同事 们，他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两
12、个多小时的交涉，我计划让客户把打印机寄 给我们，这时候她宁静地说了一句：“我是不是理应把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸 再打印试试。” 爆笑英语笑话 ：精神病医生 Jerry went to a psychiatrist. Doc, he said, Ive got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think theres somebody under it. Im going crazy! Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come to me three times
13、a week, and Ill cure your fears. How much do you charge A hundred dollars per visit. Ill sleep on it, said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. Why didnt you ever come to see me again asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit The bartender cured me for $10. Is that s
14、o! How He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Aint nobody under there now! 杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我 都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治 好你。”“费用是多少呢”“每次一百美元。”“我会专心考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月 后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗 有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的他怎么做到的”“他让我把床腿 锯掉。现在那没人了!” 爆笑英语笑话 ：死后重生 Do you believe
15、 in life after death the boss asked one of his employees. Yes, Sir. the new recruit replied.Well, then, that makes everything just fine, the boss went on. After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmothers funeral, she stopped in to see you.“你相信人能死后重生吗”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。 这位刚上班不久的员工回复。 “哦，那还
16、好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班 去加入你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。” 爆笑英语笑话 ：轻率的插话 The fine-furniture store where I work has been in business since the 1920s. Recently I received a call from a woman who wanted to replace some chairs from a dining set purchased from us in the 1930s. I assured her we could help and sought the assistance of the office manager. Youll neve
