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1、基础写作评卷反馈全市平均：8.5按三项给分（语言8分+内容5分+连贯2分） What is a well-written article?If each teacher has his or her own criteria for a well-written article, then you should meet all the standards required in order to satisfy all teachers.To leave a good impression on the teacher who scores your writing, please pay
2、attention to the items as follows: hand-writing (first impression)length of your article (first impression)informative (with information provided)accuracyappropriate expressions (for a target audience)coherence(being logic and well-organized) and cohesion (sticking together, forming a united whole)b
3、eautiful or excellent words and expressions As far as this practice is concerned, in what way is it challenging?假设你是李华，正在国外求学，租了一间公寓，想寻找一个合租人。请根据以下信息写一封邮件给租房中介，介绍公寓及要求。地点：玫瑰街1号房租总额：$380/月公寓情况：80平方米；两房一厅.一厨一卫；免费无线上网(wifi)临近两大超市及公共图书馆交通便利，步行5分钟至地铁站合租人：有责任心，不抽烟有意者请于下午6点后致电：5558-5916I语言问题I：1. 介词：My apar
4、tment is 丝(in/ at) No. 1 Rose Street.2. 词性：1) It is convenient (方便).2) The person must not smoke . (A. no smoking B. not smoke).3.分词：Covering (cover) an area ofthe apartment is.1. 地址没有门牌号2. bedroom, living room, kitchen 表达错误3. 没说明上网免费和分担月租 固:这是写给中介的信，对租客的要求不能用第二人称you【人称问题，涉及审题，不可误用】 廖通丁谨少有一个连贯词才得分）语
5、言与连贯，其实密切相关，本期宣点关注：信息整合！单词拼写：toilet, kitchen, transportation (public transport 公共交通运输)，metro/ subway单词用法：cost, contain, contact(vt.), address是否需妻？ , convenient, callall sb. at/on .can reach me at 85215884;. can get me on 85215884(区别于 call on sb./ call at sp.), is closed/ is close逻辑：My apartment (be/
6、 cover/ have) 80 square metres.信息表达不准确、不连贯，或信息整合欠佳1. A) It contains 2 bedrooms, a., a . and a toilet, which is 80 square meters.B) It covers 80 meters, with 2 bedrooms, a.a and a toilet.2. A) It is convenient to go out because I just spend 5 minutes in walking to railway station from it.* The office
7、 is ten minutes9 walk from here.* Its only a short walk to the beach.* It was a great convenience to have the school so near.B)试改写：3. Try to improve the following sentence:1) The address is and the student should give me $ 380 each month.2) And it will be convenient for the student to search for inf
8、ormation on the Internet because I will provide him/ her with WiFi for free.3) It is very convenient for you to go out because you just walk five minutes then you can arrive at railway station.4) I hoped that.If you want to share my apartment with me, please call me on 55558-5916 after 18:00.5) The
9、apartment provides wifi for free and nears two supermarkets and a public library.6) The apartment, which will cost them. a month, is located in.7) .it is not only close to two big supermarkets and the public library, but also convienient for transporting, which means that it only takes them 5 minute
10、s to the railway station.8) But the students who want to rent the apartment should be responsible and dont smoke.9) If they want to see the house, they can call on 55558-5916 after 6:00 pm.10) My apartment which is at is rent for $ 380 a month.11) I want to find a person whoand if you want to share
11、my apartment, call 55558-5916 tome after 6 pm.12) It lies on the Rose Street, number one, covering an area about 80 kilograms, with $ 380 paid per month.温馨提示：采用多种句式表达同样的信息，不同的组合往往决定了景终的表达效果。13) It not only has., but it also has.14) Besides, it has convenient transportation that it just takes you 5 m
12、inutes to the underground station.15) If anyone who has responsibility and doesnt smoke, please call 55558-5916 on 18:00 this afternoon.16) You can walk to the underground station for 5 minutes.17) 其它 L Located in the Street Rose, the apartment, which is 80 km large and has two bedrooms, a living ro
13、om, a kitchen and a toilet, will cost $ 380 a month in total.其它 2： If you want to join me, please call 5558-5916 at 6 pm, and you ought to have responsibility and not to smoke.洼意：firstly, secondly, last but not least等，不要生搬硬套。另外，and/so芥不是唯一的连接手段。 还有，高分亮点，要自己课外、课内多下功夫，不要依赖别人，要主动出击！关于信息整合Q1: What infor
14、mation should be put in a sentence?(哪些信息归类到一个句子？)Q2: How to arrange the five sentences?(如何安排五宜话帝排列JR序？)Q3: How to arrange the information in the sentence?(如何安排句子内部的信息？)原则：1、尊宣命题人的出发点，尽量按照题目里写作内容的顺序来进行写作。2、把意义相关的内容合井在一起：没有逻辑关系的不要随便合并3、所给中文信息不均衡时，应该把较多的信息拆开，以达到内容均衡，信息等量的效果:1）内容过多的，容易超出自己的驾驭能力；内容过少，句子显
15、得过于单薄。2）不同层面的信息，不宜放到同一句.比如总体信息VS细节信息查缺补漏，亡羊补牢Step 1:试重新审视自己的文电 标注错误和错误的类型（铅笔）并修正，以及信息整合、句子架构不合 理的地方（红笔下划线）；Step 2:与组内同伴互相交流，给对方打分，芥且：1）坦出其未发现的错误和问题2）画出信息整合佳句（红笔方框）：比如，冯佩婷：he apartment is 80 square metres, consisting of two bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen and a bathing roonjStep 3:重写基础写作More practice:以下是一部电影的相关信息，清写一篇短文介绍影片。片名:战马（War Horse）上映时间：2011年导演：著名导演Steven Spielberg主要角色：男孩Albert和一匹叫Joey的马主要情节：讲述了 Albert和Joey之间的友谊，他们被分离的命运因为第一次世界大战又重新联系在 起。故事来源：改编自英国作家Michael Morpurgo创作于1982年的同名小说评价：情节动人，画面壮丽。附：一模范文Dear sir,I
