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1、简短笑话英语故事大全 笑话 He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: Thats too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。 他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了
2、。 诗 Fortuitousness Being a cloud in the sky On your heart lake I cast my figure. You dont have to wonder. Nor should you cheer- In an instant I will disappear. On the dark sea we encounter In different directions of our own we steer. Its nice for you to remember. But youd better forget the luster Th
3、at weve been devoted to each other. 我是天空里的一片云， 有时投映在你的波心 你不必讶异， 更无须欢喜 在转瞬间消灭了踪影。 你我相逢在黑夜的海上， 你有你的，我有我的，方向； 你记得也好， 最好你忘掉， 在这交会时互放的光亮。 Second language A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice. M
4、other mouse barked fiercely, Woof, woof, woof! The cat was so terrified that it ran for its life. Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, Now, do you understand the value of a second language？ 一只母老鼠带着孩子出来漫步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。 母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。 母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。 这样可以吗
5、？ Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning? Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,School-Go slow. 老师：为什么你天天早晨都迟到？ 汤姆：每当我经过学校的拐角处，就看见一个牌子上写着学校-慢行. A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old w
6、oman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman? She is the one who sells the candy. 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？ “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？ “她是个卖糖果的。 Drunk One day, a father and
7、 his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, Whats the meaning of the word Drunk, dad? Well, my son, his father replied, look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I
8、 am drunk. But, dad, the boy said, theres only ONE policeman! 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，醉字是什么意思？ “唔，孩子，父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。 “可是，爸爸， 孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！10.英语小笑话,越短越好,带翻译 1、Goldfish金鱼 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.Fred: Where are you going to keep them?Stan:
9、In the bathroom 。 Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?Stan: Blindfold蒙眼睛them！斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？斯丹：浴室。 弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！2、The Revenge 欺骗的代价 Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With alow voice he said to his wife: When Im dead I w
10、ant you to marry farmerJones. Wife: No, I cant marry anyone after you. Johnson:But I want you to. Wife: But why? Johnson: Jonesonce cheated me in a horse deal！ 老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。 他声音低落地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农民琼斯。 妻子说：“不，在你死后，我不能嫁给任何人。 约翰逊：“但我希望你这么做。 妻子：“为什么？ 约翰逊：“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。 3、I think that Im a c
11、hicken 我想我是一只鸡 Psychiatrist: Whats your problem? Patient: I think Im a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg！ 精神病医师：你哪里不舒适？病人：我认为我是一只鸡。精神病医师：这种状况从什么时候开始的？病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 4、How do I get the gum out我怎么把口香糖取出来 Distributing chewing gum to the passenger
12、s, the stewardess explained it was to keeptheir ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed upto her and said, Im meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum outfrom my ears？ 当空中小姐给乘客们发口香糖的时候，她解释说口香糖有助于他们防止耳鸣。飞机着陆后，一位乘客跑到这位空中小姐面前，说道：“ 我马上就要见到我妻子了。 我怎么才能把口香糖从耳朵里面取出来呢？5
13、、Where Am I 我在哪儿 An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside. He saw afarmer working in the field nearby, so he went nearer in his car and asked the farmer,Excuse me, can you tell me where I am? Yes, the farmerlooked at him strangely and said, you are in your car, sir. 一个英国人在乡
14、下开车时迷了路，他看见一个农民正在四周的地里干活。于是他就把车开过去问那位农民：“劳驾，您能告诉我我现在这是在哪儿吗？ “可以。 农民奇怪地看了看他，然后说道：“你现在在你的车子里，先生。6、Chiefis at the wedding 长官在婚礼上 A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street.But officer, the man said, I can explain. Just be quiet, snapped the officer.Im going to put you injail until the c
15、hief gets back. But ,officer, I . I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail! A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, Youare lucky because the chief is at his daughters wedding. Hell be in a goodmood when he gets back. Are you sure? answered the man in the cell. Im thegroom. 大街上的一个超速驾驶者被警察挡住了。“但是警官这个人说道，“我可以解释的。“保持宁静，警察突然说道。“我将把你送往监狱，直到长官回来。“但是，警察，我，。“我说过了保持宁静，你要到监狱了。几小时后，警察向监狱里看了看说道“算你运气好，因为我们的长官正在他女儿的婚礼上。 他将带着一个愉快的心情回来的。 “你确定在牢房里的这个人说道。“我就是新郎呀。7、Who Is the Laziest 谁最懒 Father: Well, Tom, I asked to yo
