Desperate Housewives 1X07 - Anything You Can Do--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Mary Alice Voiceover: Previously on Desperate Housewives.Detective: Exactly what do you hire me to do?Paul: Someone sent that note to my wife, and I need to know who.Mary Alice Voiceover: Some secrets were discovered...Zach: After my mom died, I started remembering what happened to Dana.Julie: Who's Dana?Nurse: What are you doing here?Mary Alice Voiceover: Some secrets were uncovered...Carlos: It could be any one of these guys she's having an affair with.Mama Solis: Don't worry about it. I'm not letting her out of my sight.Mary Alice Voiceover: And some secrets...Maisy: Jordana Geist manages to get her work done.Lynette: How do you cram it all in?Mary Alice Voiceover:...were shared.Jordana: That's A.D.D. medication.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------(An middle-aged man is jogging in Wisteria Lane. As he runs, a younger, more fit man runs past him easily.) Mary Alice Voiceover:"Competition. It means different things to different people. In Suburbia, it means keeping up with the Jones's. On Wisteria Lane, that means keeping up with Bree Van de Kamp. Everyone knew Bree had the nicest lawn in the neighborhood. And no one begrudged her this. No one, that is, except Martha Huber, whose own lawn paled in comparison. No matter how carefully she trimmed... ...or how lovingly she watered... ...or how generously she fertilized... ...the grass was always greener on the other side of the fence."(Mrs. Huber throws down some fertilizer she had been holding, and notices the middle-aged man jog up to her place. He stops in front of Mrs. Huber.) Mrs. Huber: "Hello, Victor, how are you today? Out jogging again?" Victor: "I can't catch my breath." Mrs. Huber: "Would you like a slurp from my hose?"(He nods, then collapses to his knees falling on the ground.) Mrs. Huber: "Victor? Victor? Don't worry, I'm going to get an ambulance!"(She starts to go inside, then stops, looking over next door to Bree's house.) Mary Alice Voiceover:"Then one day, Mrs. Huber finally got the chance to mow down the competition."(Mrs. Huber transports Victor by red wheelbarrow to Bree'slawn, and dumps him in the flower bed.) Mrs. Huber: "Help! Somebody help!" Bree (gasps). "What happened?" Mrs. Huber: "He collapsed on your hydrangeas! Call 911!"(Bree runs inside.) (Later, Victor is put on a stretcher and EMS workers whisk him away in an ambulance. Bree looks down at her destroyed lawn in dismay.) Mary Alice Voiceover:"Yes. Mrs. Huber understood the first rule of competition. In order to win, you have to want it more..."--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Credits--------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Bree's House](There is a copy of Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert on a wooden table, next to a tray with crackers and garnish.) Mary Alice Voiceover:"When I was alive, my friends and I came together once a month for a meeting of the Wisteria Lane Book Club. We found the problems of literary characters so absorbing...the way they dealt with adversity..."(Lynette pops some pills.) Mary Alice Voiceover:"...conducted illicit affairs..."(Gabrielle walks by John.) Mary Alice Voiceover:"...endured domestic dramas..."(Rex walks out of the house with Bree looking frustrated behind him.) Mary Alice Voiceover:"...and planned romantic conquests."(Susan circles a date in her calendar that reads "Date with Mike!") Mary Alice Voiceover:"But since my death, my friends had lost their interest in fiction. Their own problems had become absorbing enough."--------------------------------------------------------------------------------[Bree's House]Woman: "So, what did everybody think?" Lynette: "I thought the character of Madame Bovary was ... very inspirational." (She pushes her baby carriage around the room. Susan nods her agreement as she turns a page in her copy of the book.) Woman: "Inspirational? She poisons herself with arsenic." Lynette: "Really?" Woman: "You didn't read until the end?" Lynette: "I stopped after page 50." Woman: "Am I the only one who read the book?" Susan: "I saw the movie. It was really good." Woman: "Ladies! I'm sorry, but wh-wh-what is the point of having a book club if we don't read the book?" Bree: "More wine? So, uh, Reba, Emma and Lori... Why don't you girls come to the kitchen and help me with the snacks?" Woman: "Sure." Bree: "I will be right in."(The three women walk into the kitchen and Bree closes the double doors on the three ladies, trapping them in the kitchen.) Bree: "God, I couldn't wait to get rid of them! So, Lynette said that you found Zack." Susan: "He's at a rehabilitation center. Julie snuck in and actually talked to him." Lynette: "Did he 。