《被鸭子喂食的女人》一早-早-Morning.-Morning.奶油芝士番茄Cream cheese tomato.马里奥要是你没有幸福的婚姻 和四个孩子就好了If only you weren't happily married with four kids； Mario.好了All right.谢谢你Thank you.明天见See you tomorrow.再见Bye.（美国医学院入学考试）还怀着孕？Still pregnant?你在做什么？What are you up to?和平时一不羊The usual.在公园学习享受美好的一天Having a lovely day in the park studying. 你怎么给我的孩子们添表亲？How are you gonna get my kids some goddamn cousins 你总是单独坐在长椅上 if you're always sitting on a bench alone? 我并不是一个人I'm not alone.看看这些迷人的潜在对象Look at all of these hot prospects.看看绿头的那位Check out that one with the green head. 它肯定有个巨大的老二又长又弯的那种Who are the Property Brothers? 我一看他们的节目就停不下来I can't stop watching these guys. 就是啊I know!看他们改造了那个破旧的厨房♥我真是佩服他们Look, they improved that very sad kitchen.I will give them that.咱们赌10块钱丈夫一定会哭Ten bucks, the husband cries. 我没有钱不过理论上我跟你赌I don't have any money, but you're on in theory. 见鬼Oh, shit.没关系这是一个套路No, it's a formula.非常有男子气概半信半疑的丈夫突然热泪盈眶The-The macho, skeptical husband gets all emo 因为他的皮沙发被扔掉了when they get rid of his leather couch 取而代之的是家人的老照片和组合沙发and they replace it with old family photos and a sectional. 哇你全都知道Wow. You know it all. 我有非常专业的知识I have very specialized knowledge. 你想吃甜点吗？Do you want dessert? 我不会拒绝这太棒了I'm not saying no.This is really great. 我是说你太棒了I mean, you*re really great.你对所有把你绑♥架♥在脚踏车 车筐里的女孩都这么说You say that to all the girlswho kidnap you in their bike baskets.你确定你想睡在浴缸里吗？You're sureyou wanna sleep in the bath?为什么问？你邀请我睡在你床上吗？Why?You inviting me to sleep in your bed?我是个混♥蛋♥可不是堕落的人I'm an asshole, not a degenerate.你想要多热？How warm do you like it?室温Room temp.我知道你喜欢一堆一堆的东西So I knowyou like piles of things, 可是到处有海报是怎么回事？but what's the dealwith the posters everywhere?我参与了一次政♥治♥竞选活动I worked on a political campaign.我搬到这里来…I moved out here, and...我不知道你对政♥治♥是否感兴趣I don't know if you follow politics.如果不能投票就很难参与政♥治♥It's hard to be politically engaged when you can*t vote.其实那时我们就是致力于提高选民投票率 That's actually what we were working on.Voter turnout.总之我的竞选人失败了Anyway. My candidate lost, 现在我被困在丹佛 正努力让我的生活回归正轨 and now I'm stuck out here in Denver trying to put my life back together.-奏效吗？■什么？-And did it work?-What?填补空白Filling the void.不可是确实让我分心了一段时间 No. But it did distract me for a bit. 有点像加入一个邪教Kinda like joining a cult. 然后你想"去他的政♥治♥我想成为医生” Oh, but then you were like,"Fuck politics! I wanna be a doctor." 听起来是不是有些精神分♥裂♥ ? Oh, does it sound schizophrenic?不…听起来你正在经历一个过程No, no. Just sounds like you're on a journey. 我想当一名医生能帮助更多人 I think I can help more people being a doctor 远比我当官僚多 than I can working as a policy wonk. 你可真是利他主义呀Well, that's very other-directed of you. 你什么意思？What is that?意思就是你很为别人着想It means you think a lot about other people, 甚至不惜损害你自己的幸福 even to the detriment of your own happiness, 据我观察from what I can tell.你一直这么敏锐吗？Are you always this perceptive? 说实话这是天赋也是诅咒 Honestly, it's a gift and a curse. 不这其实令人耳目一新 No, it's really refreshing. 我约会过很多人I go on all these dates.不开玩笑这些家伙要么问无聊、浅薄的问题And I'm not kidding, these guys either ask boring, cursory questions 要么就谈自己or they talk about themselves.就好像没有你来我往的交流It's like there's no back-and-forth.我可不羡慕那个I don't envy that.你有没有过那种感觉就像…Do you ever get that feeling, like...是我的问题吗？is it me?因为我约会的这些人'Cause all these guys that I go out with, 他们就像超♥市♥里腐烂的水果 they feel likethe rotten fruit at the supermarket, 就好像很明显他们都有缺陷like they're clearly defective.可是我又想…But then I'm like...“等等我是不是也有缺陷只是我看不到？”“Wait, am I defective too and I just can*t see it?" 依我来看你什么问题也没有From what I can tell,there's nothing wrong with you.可你不了解我Well, you donrt know me.我知道你是个挺酷的女孩你应该得到的远比你认为的要多I know you're a pretty cool chickwho deserves more than you think you do.我想水好了I think this is ready.太好了因为我在马桶上要冻死了Good, 'cause I'm freezing on this toilet.能帮个忙吗？Well, how about a hand?你这个混♥蛋 ♥Oh, you dick!捉弄到你了Gotcha.嘿想进来吗？Hey, wanna get in?你知道暖和一下You know, to get warm.■那我得裸体•我就是裸体呀你搞双重标准-I'd be naked.-I'm naked. That's a double standard.你确定不用我帮助？You sure I can't help?不用我告诉你了这是个惊喜No, I told you it's a surprise!这是我们第一次约会时It's everything we ate吃的所有东西当然我们那时不知道那是约会on our first datethat we didn't really know was a date.只不过这是豪华版本Except fancier versions.比方代替贝果面包的是…Like, instead of a bagel...我做了这个天然酵母面包...I made this sourdough.我♥干♥嘛要吃那个?Why would I eat that?我没开玩笑Not joking.等等什么？Wait, what?我得告诉你多少次我不喜欢面包？How many times do I have to tell youI don't like bread?我以为你只是不喜欢贝果面包I thought that was just bagels.不我指所有面包没有鸭子喜欢面包No, it's all bread. No ducks like bread. 你绝对不应该喂鸭子面包You should never feed a duck bread. 实际上它会在我们的胃里膨胀导致死亡 In fact, it can expand in our stomachs and kill us.大概你在谷歌♥搜索的时候 没出现这个信息吧？I guess that didn't show up in your Google search.-拉里•怎么了？-Larry.-What?-你怎么回事？-没什么事-What's wrong?-Noth。