建议书英语作文评语建议书英语作文评语假设你是李华，你的朋友 Jenny 向你询问如何保持健康请你给她发一封邮件提些建议，开头已经为你写好邮件内容要点如下：1. 注意合理饮食，多吃鱼、肉、蛋、豆类等，特别要注意多吃新鲜的蔬菜和水果，不要吃太多甜食2. 注意锻炼身体，要劳逸结合，多参加体育活动3. 保证充足的睡眠，不要熬夜，每天至少睡 8 个小时要求：1. 词数：150 字左右；2. 语句通顺，要点齐全；3. 可适当增加细节，使行文连贯Dear Jenny,How nice to hear from you! In your letter you asked me how to keep healthy.____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________学生作文：How nice to hear from you! In your letter you asked me how to keep healthy. Now. I will give you some advice. Frist, notice the diet, to eat much fish, flesh and bean, pay more attention to eat fresh vegetables and fruits. Don’t eat too much dessert. Second, do more exercise can make your bodies stronger. Join some PE activities is good for relief ourselves. Third, make sure have eight sleep timeevery day. Don’t stay up late or you will feel sleepy. So, follow what I say and you will keep healthy. I hope to hear from you soon.Li Hua［教师点评］这篇作文基本能覆盖了要点内容，作者也努力使用了高一阶段所学过的高级词汇和短语，甚至名词性从句，这一点值得鼓励。
但同时，语法结构或词汇运用方面出现不少错误，语句间缺少连接成分，使得全文结构比较松散，逻辑性不强教师修改：一、 语言运用错误1. 粗心引起的单词拼写错误frist 改成 first2. 人称不一致这是建议信，对象应该是你，故用第二人称，所以ourselves 应改成 yourselves3. 单词词性不清楚relief ourselvesrelief 是名词，应该改成动词 relievingourselves4. 短语的用法掌握不到位1） pay attention to eat fresh vegetables and fruitspay attention to sth./doing sth.,需改成 pay attention to eating fresh vegetables and fruits2） join some PE activities is good for relief ourselvesjoin 一般指加入正式的组织、团体；参加活动 take part in; 需改成：take part in PE activites be good to do sth. 适宜干某事；而有助于干某事，可以用 help do sth. 需改成：help relieve ourselves3） make sure have eight sleep time every daymake sure of sth.; make sure + 从句 需改成：make sure that you sleep for eight hours5. 句子语法错误do more exercise can make your bodies strongerjoin some PE activities is good for relief ourselves动词做主语时，用动名词或不定式需改成：Doing more exercise can make your bodies stronger.Taking part in PE activities helps you relieve yourselves.二、 逐句翻译，句不成文notice the diet, to eat much fish, flesh and bean, pay more attention to eat fresh vegetables and fruits. 按照中文逐字逐句翻译，很不符合英语的表达习惯。
学生应该对句子重新整合，利用平时所学英语中的结构、短语等重组句型应改成：We pay more attention to our regular diet and eat plenty of nutritious foods, such as fish, meat, eggs and beans, especially fresh vegetables and fruit.三、 句子结构松散，缺少连贯性三个建议是借助于 first, second, third 来保持其并列性，显得有点单调，学生们可以用以下一些短语来强化递进关系：What’s more, Furthermore, Also 等四、 标点符号要细心Now. I will tell you how to keep healthy.需改成：Now, I will tell you how to keep healthy.［解题步骤］1. 审题分段仔细推敲要求中所包含的要点内容，用铅笔做记号，一般来说，将文章分成三段的视觉效果是最好的，并初步构思每段涉及的内容2. 审题确立时态和人称建议类的作文以现在时态为主，如果涉及到将来的情况，则使用一般将来时。
因为是写给对方的建议，故使用第二人称3. 细心把好语言关高考英语的评分标准之一是尽力使用较高复杂结构或较高级词汇1） 把好词汇关在高一阶段同学们就应尽量使用所学过的高级词汇或优先考虑使用短语例如：害怕 afraid改用 frightened; 发生 happen 改用 take place;2） 把好句型关在平时的作文训练中，发现不少学生的作文通篇都是简单句，象记流水帐一样，缺少技术含量，即使没有什么错误，也不会拿到高分因此学生们要努力地使用复合句或一些特殊句型结构来提高文章的档次例如：定语从句，状语从句，名词性从句，倒装句，强调句型，被动语态，make it +形容词+ for sb. to do sth.等学生学过的句型结构3） 注重文章的连贯性高考英语的评分标准要求有效地使用语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑因此，学生们在写作文的时候，要有意识地利用所学过的单词、短语、句型等使得句子之间、段落之间逻辑关系更清楚例如：表示递进：besides, what’s more；表示转折：however; on the contrary; 表示总结：in conclusion; in a word 等等。
4） 完善结尾因为这是一篇建议信，所以在结尾时学生可以使用这样的句型结构：Only by following the advice above can you … 不仅使整篇文章完整结束，还表达了建议人的诚心，给阅卷老师留下好印象4. 复查全文，留意易被忽略的错误学生在作文写好之后，有必要花点时间复查文章，重点检查标点符号用得是否准确，例如：英文中没有顿号；英文中的省略号是三个，而非六个；英文中的句号是实心点等学生们还需检查有无单词拼写错误等由于非智力因素所引起的失分5. 注意写作时间需要提醒学生们注意的是，考试是有时间限制的，因此，每种题型在平时训练的时候就要注意时间的分配一般情况下，一篇 150 字左右的小文章需要 25 分钟左右的时间 只有这样，才能写出高质高效的作文［修改后的文章］Dear Jenny,How nice to hear from you! In your letter you asked me how to keep healthy. I would like to give you some advice.As you know, we teenagers grow very fast, so we need plenty of nutritious foods, such as fish, meat, eggs and beans, especially fresh vegetables and fruit. You’d better not eat too much sweet food. Also, it’s necessary for you to take physical exercise regularly instead of studying in the classroom all the time. For example, you can play basketball or swim after school. What’s more, having enough sleep is very important. So I advise you to have at least eight hours of sleep every day and not to stay up too late. Only in this way can you keep energetic and have a healthy body.Li Hua。