荆轲刺秦王刺秦王演演员表：表：太子丹太子丹——吕升海升海荆 轲——黄世雄黄世雄嬴嬴 政政——任奕达任奕达李莫愁李莫愁——刘刘 影影阿阿 二二——王王 蔓蔓阿阿 三三——殷于媚殷于媚大臣甲大臣甲——程程艳辉大臣乙大臣乙——冯秀秀秀秀卫 兵兵——尹尹亚培培旁旁 白白——厉四普四普 Introduction： Long long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr. Jing Ke was the most famous swordsman〔剑客〕and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Ying Zheng〞. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show, will tell you the truth…… 太子丹：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (It’s you, Prince Dan! ) Thank u mirror! I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive(吸引人的 ) man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous(妒忌的) guy〔家伙〕 I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? Where is my minister(大臣 )?阿三 : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful(优雅的) 、handsome、charming(诱人的) 、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan〞!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~〔作杀状〕太子丹：Good idea! But who is the right candidate(候选人) ?阿三：After screening(挑选) I have two promising(有希望的) persons on hand. One is Miss Li Mo Chou, the other is Mr Jing Ke. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO.1 killer of the world.太子丹：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes. •荆轲 ：：Are you Li mo chou?•李莫愁：李莫愁：Yes.•荆轲：：OK. I’m Jing ke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.•李莫愁：李莫愁：Are you challenging me?•荆轲 ：：Off course! 耸耸肩表示肩表示赞同同•李莫愁：李莫愁：Come on!•荆轲:Look ，，帅哥！哥！•〔李莫愁扭〔李莫愁扭头，，荆轲打到李莫愁〕打到李莫愁〕•荆轲大笑大笑•李莫愁苦楚状：李莫愁苦楚状：What happened? Why？？you are 使使诈•荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? 〔〔赢一个人需求理由么，不需求么，需求么？〕一个人需求理由么，不需求么，需求么？〕•李莫愁李莫愁愤怒状：怒状：you。
•荆轲大笑大笑•太子丹上〔抱拳〕：太子丹上〔抱拳〕：How are you?•荆柯：柯：Fine, thank you, and you?•太子丹：太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative(新款式新款式的的) answer to “How are you〞〞?•荆柯：柯：Sure! 太子丹：太子丹：How are you?荆柯：柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹太子丹晕倒倒荆柯：柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!(未成年人未成年人)太子丹：太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!〔〔毕恭恭毕敬〕敬〕May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷从兜里掏出一卷纸，，递给太子丹上面写着：〔太子丹太子丹上面写着：〔太子丹读〕〕To be or not to be, that's a question.阿二：阿二：Hero，，we need your help.荆柯：柯：I am busy now!太子丹：太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：柯：I am very busy now!阿三：阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯：柯：I am very very busy now!阿二阿二(手指上手指上场的美女，激的美女，激动状状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯柯(诚实状状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you. . . 一大臣跑在前，一大臣一大臣跑在前，一大臣紧紧随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气。
随其后，跑了一圈，便上气不接下气大臣甲大臣甲〔 〔掏出一看掏出一看〕 〕：：Hey, bad luck. I am late. The bonus(Hey, bad luck. I am late. The bonus(奖奖金金) ) of this month has been lost.of this month has been lost.大臣乙：大臣乙：I am tired. I had been chatting on until 1 o’ clock last I am tired. I had been chatting on until 1 o’ clock last night.night.大臣乙大臣乙〔 〔看了一下大臣甲看了一下大臣甲〕 〕：：Good. Good. Your skin is fine.Good. Good. Your skin is fine.大臣甲：大臣甲：I use “ Da BaoI use “ Da Bao〞〞 everyday. everyday.大臣乙：大臣乙：I have heart the prince Dan again give our king some I have heart the prince Dan again give our king some good things. Be quick, to have a look.good things. Be quick, to have a look.大臣甲：大臣甲：Come onCome on秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一秦王上座，两个大臣各坐一边边。
卫卫兵甲：兵甲：“Can we begin“Can we begin？〞？〞秦王：秦王：“begin“begin〞〞卫卫兵：兵：“Let the people of Jing ke come in“Let the people of Jing ke come in〞〞秦王：秦王：“Jing ke. What’s wrong with you“Jing ke. What’s wrong with you？〞？〞荆荆柯：柯：“Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas“Nothing. Nothing. May be there are lots of fleas〔 〔跳蚤跳蚤〕 〕 on on my body “.my body “.秦王秦王〔 〔不不烦烦〕 〕：：What’s the good thingsWhat’s the good things，， quickly quickly！〞！〞荆荆柯献柯献图图，，图穷图穷匕首匕首见见，，荆荆柯柯举举刀刺秦，刀刺秦，〔 〔旁白：旁白：Go Go Go Only OnlyGo Go Go Only Only响起响起〕 〕秦王摔倒，秦王摔倒，转转身逃跑，其他人抱身逃跑，其他人抱头趴头趴在地上。
在地上 两个人两个人围着大臣兜圈，着大臣兜圈，过了一会儿了一会儿……卫兵喊道：兵喊道：“Mr King, drink the milk quickly!〞扔了一奶〞扔了一奶壶，秦，秦王接住，喝了一口，王接住，喝了一口，顿时，力大无比，立刻将，力大无比，立刻将荆柯打倒在地柯打倒在地秦王秦王:Super rubbish, how dare you kill me?荆柯柯:I‘m sorry I’m wrong But the prince Dan told me to kill you Please forgive me!秦王：秦王：You will never live again. What would you like to say?〔〔<大大话西游西游>主主题曲响起〕曲响起〕荆柯：柯：My lovely lady，， Once there was a truest love put before my eyes ,but I didn't cherish it. If God could give me another chance,I would say to the girl “I love you! “If there had to be a limit of time before the end of love. I hope it would be tenthousand years.秦王〔吼道〕：秦王〔吼道〕：Soldiers carry out and put the pig head on the wall!! 卫兵拖着兵拖着荆轲分开，分开，荆轲做做挣扎状下扎状下 。