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1、故都的秋 汉译英对比赏析,郁达夫原作,国金062班 程琪 魏缨璎,优秀报告点评:该实践报告特点有四:一是能以主题与主题倾向为理论依据,对两种译文选词择义的进行了有理据的分析和评说。突出了散文情景交融的文学性及其在英译中的艺术再现和艺术表现,两位同学紧紧抓住了翻译过程中译者应主观能动地表现作者的特定情感特质这一主线,使得评析中心突出。体现出刘勰所论的“情之经,理之纬”(文心雕龙-情采篇)的文学立本之源思想在翻译中的表现。二是有析、有论、有评,不少地方体现出两位同学自己的价值判断,对名家译文有赞有批,既肯定优点,也指出不足,且评析令人信服,问题概括得当。三是能综合两位名家长处,提出自己的改进译文,
2、既体现出理论思维,又落实到具体实践。四是报告PPT制作形式与内容相融合,给人赏心悦目之感。 Scores: 97,http:/ in Peiping)一文的第一至第四段为例,并以张培基和王椒升的译文为蓝本(张培基的译文下称译文1,王椒升的译文下称译文2),通过对名家译作的对比赏析来探讨汉译英翻译作品的翻译技巧。,作者介绍,郁达夫 (1896.12.71945.8.29) 原名郁文,字达夫,浙江富阳人,中国现代著名小说家、散文家、诗人。 郁达夫在文学创作上主张“文学作品,都是作家的自叙传”,因此,他常常把个人的生活经历作为小说和散文的创作的素材,在作品中毫不掩饰地勾勒出自己的思想感情、个性和人生
3、际遇。,故都的秋创作背景,从1921年9月至1933年3月,郁达夫曾用相当大的精力参加左翼文艺活动和进行创作. 由于国民党白色恐怖的威胁等原因,郁达夫从1933年4月由上海迁居杭州,1936年2月离杭赴福州,在杭州居住了近三年. 在这段时间里,他思想苦闷,创作枯竭,过的是一种闲散安逸的生活.“在家吃点精制的菜,喝点芳醇的酒,睡睡午觉,看看闲书,不愿意将行动和平时有所移易;总之是懒得动.“(引自郁达夫住所的话),故都的秋创作背景,在这二三年间,郁达夫的确花了很多时间到处游山玩水,在一定程度上也是为了排遣现实带给他的苦闷和离群索居的寂寞.在游山玩水的过程中,写了许多游记,这是他在这段时间创作的主要
4、收获,为我国现代游记的发展做出了不可磨灭的贡献.在杭州其间,郁达夫提倡静的文学,写的也多是“静如止水似的遁世文学“. 1934年7月,郁达夫“不远千里“从杭州经青岛去北平,再次饱尝了故都的秋“味“,并写下了优美的散文故都的秋.,秋天,无论在什么地方的秋天,总是好的;可是啊,北国的秋,却特别地来得清,来得静,来得悲凉。,译文1: Autumn, wherever it is, always has something to recommend itself. In North China, however, it is particularly limpid, serene and melanc
5、holy. 译文2:Autumn is always pleasant no matter where it is. But autumn in the North is especially clear, especially serene, especially pathetic in its coolness.,句子结构的完整性和协调性1较好,秋天,无论在什么地方的秋天,总是好的;可是啊,北国的秋,却特别地来得清,来得静,来得悲凉。,译文1: Autumn, wherever it is, always has something to recommend itself. In Nort
6、h China, however, it is particularly limpid, serene and melancholy. 译文2:Autumn is always pleasant no matter where it is. But autumn in the North is especially clear, especially serene, especially pathetic in its coolness.,秋天,无论在什么地方的秋天,总是好的;可是啊,北国的秋,却特别地来得清,来得静,来得悲凉。,译文1: Autumn, wherever it is, alw
7、ays has something to recommend itself. In North China, however, it is particularly limpid, serene and melancholy. 译文2:Autumn is always pleasant no matter where it is. But autumn in the North is especially clear, especially serene, especially pathetic in its coolness.,译文1的版本较好!,我的不远千里,要从杭州赶上青岛,更要从青岛赶
8、上北平来的理由,也不过想饱尝一尝这“秋”,这故都的秋味。,译文1:To enjoy its atmosphere to the full in the onetime capital, I have, therefore, made light of traveling a long distance form Hangzhou to Qingdao, and thence to Peiping. 译文2:It was for no other purpose than to savor this autumn to the full, the taste of autumn in the o
9、ld capital, that I went to the trouble of journeying a thousand li, from Hangzhou to Qingdao, and thence to Beiping.,我的不远千里,要从杭州赶上青岛,更要从青岛赶上北平来的理由,也不过想饱尝一尝这“秋”,这故都的秋味。,译文1: To enjoy its atmosphere to the full in the onetime capital, I have, therefore, made light of traveling a long distance form Han
10、gzhou to Qingdao, and thence to Peiping. 译文2:It was for no other purpose than to savor this autumn to the full, the taste of autumn in the old capital, that I went to the trouble of journeying a thousand li, from Hangzhou to Qingdao, and thence to Beiping.,我的不远千里,要从杭州赶上青岛,更要从青岛赶上北平来的理由,也不过想饱尝一尝这“秋”,
11、这故都的秋味。,译文1: To enjoy its atmosphere to the full in the onetime capital, I have, therefore, made light of traveling a long distance form Hangzhou to Qingdao, and thence to Peiping. 译文2:It was for no other purpose than to savor this autumn to the full, the taste of autumn in the old capital, that I w
12、ent to the trouble of journeying a thousand li, from Hangzhou to Qingdao, and thence to Beiping.,江南,秋当然也是有的;但草木雕得慢,空气来得润,天的颜色显得淡,并且又时常多雨而少风;,译文1:There is of course autumn in the South too, but over there plants wither slowly, the air is moist, the sky pallid, and it is more often rainy than windy. 译
13、文2:There is autumn also south of the Yangtze, of course. But there the grass and trees take more time to wither, the air is moist and the sky is pale. There is frequent rain and less wind.,柯林斯高级英语学习词典第五版 If something is pale, it is very light in colour or almost white. You can describe something as
14、pallid if it is weak or not at all exciting.,主题倾向:作者是在拿“江南的秋”和“故都的秋”作比,是进一步阐述突出了他无限的眷恋和向往,文中的“当然”融入了一定的情感,译文2中将“of course”放在句尾突出强调使得该语义得以体现。另外翻译原文中的三个形容词“慢”、“润”和“淡”时要考虑用比较级。,改译: There is autumn also south of the Yangtze, of course. But there the grass and trees take more time to wither , the air is
15、moister , the sky more pallid and it is often more often rainy than windy.,结合语境突出关键词 句子结构的完整性和一致性,一个人夹在苏州上海杭州,或厦门香港广州的市民中间,浑浑沌沌地过去,只能感到一点点清凉,秋的味,秋的色,秋的意境与姿态,总看不饱,尝不透,赏玩不到十足。,译文1:While muddling along all by myself among the urban dwellers of Suzhou, Shanghai, Hangzhou, Xiamen, Hong Kong or Guangzhou,
16、 I feel nothing but a little chill in the air, without ever relishing to my hearts content the flavor, color, mood and style of the season. 译文2:One who dwells among the citizens of Suzhou, Shanghai or Hangzhou, of Xiamen, Hongkong or Guangzhou, spends his days listlessly, with but a vague feeling of coolness. As to the taste and color of autumn, its particular significance and moods, it is impossible to have ones fi