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1、商科申请文章 BusinessBusiness Essay BusinessBusiness Essay 棕榈大道已获得文书作者授权刊登和发布其文书，其他机构不得转载、抄袭或用于商业用途，违者必究。 BusinessBusiness Essay 全文点评：全文点评： 文章描述了申请者较为多样的实践经历（独立项目，实习等）， 体现出较强的专业兴趣和实践能力。学业成绩的表现也较为突 出，不过列举高分的方法较为刻板，缺少具体的实例，如从中学 到的知识和提高的能力，建议深入挖掘，避免将文书变成成绩单 的描述版。选校原因方面较为充分和扣住特征，特别是开头与项 目教授的交流，较能体现出对项目的深入了解和兴
2、趣。段落过渡 和各别语句可以再加强，使文章整体更加顺畅。 文中提及：文中提及： 发展计划: 职业规划、学习计划； 课外活动； 学习成就: 本科学 校、GPA、课程成就； 实习/工作经历: 跟申请方向相关、公司档 次(Startup)； 海外经历: 交流经历(=2年) 文中亮点：文中亮点： 展现细节；提炼总结；专业兴趣与热情；职业目标； 选择研究生 教育的动机；选校原因；竞争力体现；表达多样性；语言简洁 BusinessBusiness Essay BusinessBusiness Essay 棕榈大道已获得文书作者授权刊登和发布其文书，其他机构不得转载、抄袭或用于商业用途，违者必究。 Busi
3、nessBusiness Essay I have known the MCHI program at CMU for a long time. After communicating with Professor when she was giving a lecture in our university, I became more familiar with HCII, the interdiscipli- nary Community, and decided to apply for admis- sion with strong desire. My application st
4、ems not only from my background of psychology, my pas- sion in the interdisciplinary field of design, tech- nology and behavioral science, my practical working experience in a start-up company, but also from my deep concern of different social events, especially identity under various settings. My i
5、nterest of identity originated in practical work of producing videos. I produced 10 video works mostly documenting and interviewing peo- ple, during which ways of people defining and presenting themselves fascinated me a lot. Ob- servation and thinking of human-to-human inter- action in different ci
6、rcumstances also motivated my curiosity of peoples mental world related to the outside environment. While long-term experi- ence of individual work strongly enhanced my capability of comprehensive and critical thinking, collaboration with students with various back- grounds also let me realize how c
7、onflict or com- promise happened in between. Studying at the top university of China, I am expected to finish my BS degree in Psychology. Apart from study in my major, I audited several courses in Sociology and Anthropology, providing wide academic background on different approach of social science.
8、 Meanwhile, I enrolled in cours- es like Fundamentals of Computer Software Techniques (C programming), Form Composition, Industrial Design and Creative Thinking and au- dited courses Interaction Design and Perspective and Structural Sketch as supplement for my knowledge of design. Moreover, willing
9、to broad- en my horizon and seeking challenges positively, I participated in summer session at (a certain school), where I took two intensive courses Inter- activity (teaching Processing) and Motion, graded A and A- separately. Additionally, I joined a start-up company as part-time experience design
10、er. I mainly focused on different aspects of experiences: package de- sign, commercial photography, website design and branding, most of which were new for me. These experiences helped me learn more about working with various mediums as well as built up my comprehensive understanding of technology a
11、nd the business world. Moreover, with a multi- disciplined background, I found myself competi- tive in such typical corporative group: I could work as the bridge between engineers and de- signers, and utilized my deep understanding of customers demand into a serious of works. Apart from my study and
12、 practice on a univer- sal level, my own life experience additionally lighted up my interest in identity conflicts and Carnegie Mellon Human Computer Inter- action Master 本科学校: 清华大学 本科专业:心理学 TOP Carnegie Mellon University BusinessBusiness Essay BusinessBusiness Essay 棕榈大道已获得文书作者授权刊登和发布其文书，其他机构不得转载、抄
13、袭或用于商业用途，违者必究。 reestablishment of social rela- tionships. During my child- hood, I frequently moved from city to city, which influenced my understanding and percep- tion of those disparate envi- ronment and people. I was fortunate to make experience of living in culturally diverse places such as Chi
14、na, Cambo- dia, Netherland, France and the U.S., which provided me with a deeper understanding of cultural identity and ideologies, and pushed me towards a more global viewpoint. Chal- lenges of transitioning city do not only happen in China; they are common problems under todays globalized communit
15、y, calling for new approaches and solutions. I hope to further explore multiple kinds of loca- tion-based experiences, and to seek alternative methods that allow affected communities to be involved into the solution- finding process. For future plan, I would like to work in a leading agency as inter
16、action or experience de- signer after graduation, and then kick-off my own studio. This idea calls for a compre- hensive understanding of be- havioral science, design and technology as well as strong capability of corporation and co-working, which is provided by your program, and also very important to tomorrows world. I viewed curriculum and a lot of student work, which makes me even more motivated in this program. I believe that my strong background in psychol- ogy, working ex
