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1、Lesson One Courtesy: Key to a Happier WorldDr. Norman Vincent PealeLearning Guide 人生活在群体之中，为了解决自己的衣食住行，处处都要与他人打交道。即使是在英国人称之为“自己的城堡”的家里，人们也必须和睦相处，才能相安无事。风烟四起，舌战连绵，轻者使团体和家庭面和心不和，重者会导致团体瓦解，家庭破裂。处理好人际关系的秘诀是什么？本文作者在多年心理咨询工作中得出结论：以礼待人。他认为，不可小看如何对待他人一事，礼貌不仅仅是个人举止问题，而且也反映一个人的人生观。他还提出了一些化解矛盾和冲突的具体建议，你不妨试试。 1
2、 Many years ago trying to help people with every kind of trouble left me with one sure conviction: in case after case the difficulty could have been overcome or might never have arisen if the people involved had just treated one another with common courtesy. Many years ago trying to help people with
3、 every kind of trouble left me with one sure conviction. 多年以前，帮助人们解决各种各样问题的过程使我深信. Trying to help people with every kind of trouble caused me to believe one thing firmly2 Courtesy, politeness, good manners call it what you will, the supply never seems to equal the demand. Its not so much what my hus
4、band says, a tearful wife confides, as the way he says it. Why does he have to yell at me? I hate my boss, a grim-faced office worker mutters. He never shows appreciation for anything. All we get from our teenagers, a worried parent says, is a moody sullenness. Courtesy, politeness, good manners cal
5、l it what you will, the supply never seems to equal the demand.礼貌也好，客气，或文明举止也好，无论你称它什么，其供应似乎总是小于需求。 Whether you call it courtesy, or politeness, or good manner, peoples need for it always far greater than they show. (people practice less courtesy than they should.) Its not so much what my husband sa
6、ys,“a tearful wife confides,”as the way he says it.一位泪流满面的妻子向我透露说，“（使我伤心的）倒不是我丈夫说的那些话，而是他说话时的态度. A wife in tears told me ,“What made me so sad was not what he said, but the rude way he said it” 3 Such complaints are not limited to people who sit in my study. Human beings everywhere hunger for courte
7、sy. Good manners,said Ralph Waldo Emerson, are the happy way of doing things. And the reverse is equally true. Bad manners can ruin a day or wreck a friendship. “Good manners,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson,“are the happy way of doing things.”爱默生说：“礼貌是愉快行事的方式。” Good manners are the suitable/ appropriate
8、way of doing things And the reverse is equally true. Bad manners can ruin a day-or wreck a friendship.反之一样（不讲礼貌是不愉快地办事），不文明的举止可以破环一天的心境，或许还会毁掉友情。 Bad manners bring about entirely different results. (Bad manners are the unhappy way of doing things.) You will feel unhappy if you are treated impolitely
9、. Bad manner can ruin a friendship. 4 What are the basic ingredients of good manners? Certainly a strong sense of justice is one; courtesy is often nothing more than a highly developed sense of fair play. A friend once told me of driving along a one-lane, unpaved mountain road. Ahead was another car
10、 that produced clouds of choking dust, and it was a long way to the nearest paved highway. Suddenly, at a wider place, the car ahead pulled off the road. Thinking that its owner might have engine trouble, my friend stopped and asked if anything was wrong. No, said the other driver. But youve endured
11、 my dust this far; Ill put up with yours the rest of the way. There was a man with manners, and an innate sense of fair play. .courtesy is often nothing more than a highly developed sense of fair play.文明举止往往只不过是高层次的公平意识。 nothing more than：只不过是.，不是别的而是. Courtesy is not something beyond us. It is just
12、 a highly developed sense of fair play. .Ill put up with yours the rest of the way.The rest of the way Ill endure the dust caused by your car. There was a man with manners, and an innate sense of fair play.这真是一位有礼貌的人，一位天生有着公道意识的人。 There was a.:这里用来表示赞许。 What a courteous man! He had good manner and,
13、by nature, he was a man with a sense of fair play. 5 Another ingredient of courtesy is empathy, a quality that enables a person to see into the mind or heart of someone else, to understand the pain or unhappiness there and to do something to minimize it. Recently in a book about a famous restaurant
14、chain I came across such an episode. .to see into the mind or heart of someone else, to understand the pain or unhappiness there to do something to minimize it.深入他人的思想和内心世界，理解他们感情深处的痛苦或是不幸并尽力使之减缓。 .to understand the innermost feeling of another person-what he is thinking or feeling deep down in othe
15、r words, the pain or unhappiness he keeps to himself and to help him the best way you can. 6 A man dining alone was trying to unscrew the cap of a bottle of catsup but his fingers were so badly crippled by arthritis that he couldnt do it. He asked a young busboy to help him. The boy took the bottle, turned his back momentarily and loosened the cap without difficulty. Then he tightened it again. Turning back to the man, he feigned a great
