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1、A Winter Walk (excerpts) 冬日漫步（节选）,Henry David Thoreau Famous writer & philosopher Master piece: Walden Lake Affection on nature,The wind has gently murmured through the blinds, or puffed with feathery softness against the windows, and occasionally sighed like a summer zephyr lifting the leaves along
2、, the livelong night. 寒风私语，轻透帘席，柔若翎羽，微拂窗棂；偶如低叹，似夏之风，抚动细叶, 长夜不休。,The wind has gently murmured through the blinds, or puffed with feathery softness against the windows, and occasionally sighed like a summer zephyr lifting the leaves along, the livelong night. 寒风私语，轻透帘席，柔若翎羽，微拂窗棂； 偶如低叹，似夏之风，抚动细叶， 长夜不休。
3、 技术要点： 1.主题关联性增译：文章主题是冬日漫步，既然季节是冬，那么风应该是寒冷的，故把the wind译成 “寒风”，贴合主题，且使译文更优美。 2.语义嬗变：puff微拂 参数因子：gently， feathery softness,puff： 1.to blow in short sudden gust of wind 2.To emit puffs 短促而有力地吹? 喷？ 微拂！ lift: move sth. to another position, especially upwards. 抬起？ 吹起？ 抚动！,The earth itself has slept, as it
4、 were its first, not its last sleep, save when some street-sign or wood-house door has faintly creaked upon its hinge, cheering forlorn nature at her midnight work, the only sound awake twixt Venus and Mars, advertising us of a remote inward warmth, a divine cheer and fellowship, where gods are met
5、together, but where it is very bleak for men to stand. 大地已酣然入睡，此非长眠，乃年中初次休憩。夜半虽至， 大自然仍辛勤不休，唯有街上招牌和木屋门轴时而吱吱作响，虽极细极微，但亦是孤寂大自然的唯一抚慰。这是金星与火星间唯一清醒着的天籁，唤醒了我们灵魂深处的温情，神圣的愉悦感和友情。那是诸神际会之时方能体会的境界，然而对世间凡人，此番寂寥，却是难以消受。,The earth itself has slept, as it were its first, not its last sleep, save when some street-si
6、gn or wood-house door has faintly creaked upon its hinge, cheering forlorn nature at her midnight work, the only sound awake twixt Venus and Mars,advertising us of a remote inward warmth, a divine cheer and fellowship, where gods are met together, but where it is very bleak for men to stand. 大地已酣然入睡
7、，此非长眠，乃年中初次休憩。夜半虽至， 大自然仍 辛勤不休，唯有街上招牌和木屋门轴时而吱吱作响，虽极细极微，但 亦是孤寂大自然的唯一抚慰。这是金星与火星间唯一清醒着的天籁， 唤醒了我们灵魂深处的温情，神圣的愉悦感和友情。那是诸神际会之时 方能体会的境界，然而对世间凡人，此番寂寥，却是难以消受。 技术要点： 1.词性转化： a. 动词转化为名词：cheering抚慰n. b. 形容词转化为名词：bleak 寂寥n. 句式因而更显灵活多变 2.换序：at her midnight work 3.增译语境化含义：at her midnight work,Cheer: 1.To encourage w
8、ith or as if with applause 2.Comfort 喝彩？ 抚慰！,点评：根据语境，cheering 一词在此处可 以为：为荒寂的大自然增添几丝生气。 因为上文说白雪覆盖的大地已然酣睡，此刻又是晚上，人们也入梦乡，此刻的野外已是荒寂一片，了无生气。几声吱吱呀呀的门轴声（开门），让人感到几丝生气。Zeng,屋顶之上，已是白雪皑皑。屋檐下，篱笆上悬挂着如钟乳石般的冰雪，院子里则是“亭亭玉立”着的冰笋，不知里面所藏何物。高木低灌向四面八方伸展出雪白的枝条，似臂膀般拥抱苍穹。,From the eaves and fences hang stalactites of snow,
9、and in the yard stand stalagmites covering some concealed core. The trees and shrubs rear white arms to the sky on every side.,屋顶之上，已是白雪皑皑。屋檐下，篱笆上悬挂着如钟乳石般的冰雪，院子里则是“亭亭玉立”着的冰笋, 不知里面 所藏何物。,From the eaves and fences hang stalactites of snow, and in the yard stand stalagmites covering some concealed core
10、.,1.在要点1）中把stand译为“亭亭玉立”，既有拟人的生动效果，又表现出作者对这雪中冰笋的喜爱之情。其实，全文对雪景的描述都贯穿着这种情感。这样译的话就把握了整体的感情基调，且较有文采。,2.要点2）中的core在牛津高阶英汉双解字典里的意思是centre of such fruits as the apple and pear, containing the seeds 果心（如苹果核 梨核）。我们取其语义的外延，则是被冰笋包裹着的一种物体。所以我们把它拆译成“里面”和“物”。为了使其更符合中文的表达，我们又把形容词性的concealed译成动词性的“藏”，把肯定句译成否定句“不知里面
11、所藏何物”。,高木低灌向四面八方伸展出雪白的枝条，似臂膀般拥抱苍穹。,The trees and shrubs rear white arms to the sky on every side.,3.要点3）若译为“高木低灌从四面八方向天空伸展出雪白的枝条”，意思是到位了，但是失去了原来这个兼用拟人比喻两种手法的句子的生动性和形象性。所以我们在后面加了一句“似臂膀般拥抱苍穹”，保持了原句的生动性和形象性，且把to the sky译为“拥抱苍穹的话”，可以使其与“臂膀”相对应，也更加生动。,我们轻拔门闩，任雪花飘入，移步室外，彻骨寒气扑面袭来。天穹里烁烁星点已是清辉稍逝，远处雾气沉滞，笼罩着地平
12、线。东方流泻出耀眼的古铜色光辉，宣告着新一天的来临。移目西边，景象黯淡依旧，鬼影幢幢，陷于昏暗的地狱之光, 有如阴森异域。,Silently we unlatch the door, letting the drift fall in, and step abroad to face the cutting air. Already the stars have lost some of their sparkle, and a dull, leaden mist skirts the horizon. A lurid brazen light in the east proclaims th
13、e approach of day, while the western landscape is dim and spectral still, and clothed in a sombre Tartarean light, like the shadowy realms.,我们轻拔门闩，任雪花飘入，移步室外，彻骨寒气扑面袭来。,Silently we unlatch the 1)door, letting the 2)drift fall in, and 3)step abroad to face the cutting air.,1.要点1)中的door受语素因子unlatch(打开门
14、闩)的影响，不译成“门”，而是译成“门闩” 2.要点2）中的drift为漂浮物之意。由情景思维可知，这漂浮之物正是雪。译成“雪花”也能体现一种漂浮空中的轻盈之感。 3.要点3）中把step abroad 译为“移步室外”，能体现汉语凝练的特点，也较有文采。,天穹里烁烁星点4）已是清辉稍逝，远处雾气沉滞，笼罩着地平线。5）东方流泻出耀眼的古铜色光辉，宣告着新一天的来临。移目西边，景象黯淡依旧，鬼影幢幢，陷于昏暗的地狱之光, 有如6）阴森异域。,Already the stars 4） have lost some of their sparkle, and a dull, leaden mist
15、 skirts the horizon. 5）A lurid brazen light in the east proclaims the approach of day, while the western landscape is dim and spectral still, and clothed in a sombre Tartarean light, like the 6）shadowy realms.,4.要点4）译成“已是清辉稍逝”较为贴切和有文采。利用结合情景思考的翻译技巧，把sparkle译成“清辉”，更加符合接近白昼时的星辉的特点。 5.要点5）增译“流泻”两字，改变原文
16、句式，由短语译成句子，使其更符合中文的表达习惯也更有文采。 6.要点6）中的shadowy本意为“阴影的”，用其引申义，译为“阴森”更为妥当,The sun at length rises through the distant woods, as if with the faint clashing, swinging sound of cymbals, melting the air with his beams, and with such rapid steps the morning travels, that already his rays are gilding the distant western mountains. 终于，冬日从远处的森林中升起，宛若伴着奏起的隐隐钹音，以其光芒消融空气里的冰霜。瞬息之间，晨光已普照大地，朝阳之辉正为遥远的西山镶上金边。,The sun at length rises through the distant woods, as if with the faint cla
