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1、Progressive Writing,Part Nine Paragraph Errors,常见的语篇错误有：偏离主题、段落缺乏统一性、段落及全文缺少连贯性、句型缺少变化。相关内容可参看本书第三单元。以下是一些错误的实例。,常见语篇错误,1偏离主题,In Shanghai as in the rest of China，traffic keeps to the rightTraffic problem is one of the most important part of our daily lifeEach person，especially drivers，should know th
2、e traffic rulesTraffic Department is paying much attention to the traffic problem and traffic system is improvingEvery year，however，a lot of people die or get injured in traffic accidents 第一句表达的“交通车辆靠右行驶”这一主题在全段中没有得到任何扩展，而“交通问题”却成了全段主要讨论的内容。,2缺少统一性,Progress is gradually being made in the fight again
3、st cancerIn the early 1900s，few cancer patients had any hope of long-term survivalBut because Ofadvances in medical technology，progress has been made so that currently one in three cancer patients surviveIt has been proven that smoking is a direct cause of lung cancer. However ，the battle has not ye
4、t been wonAlthough cures for some forms of cancer have been discovered，other forms of cancer are still increasingHeart disease is also increasing 这一段阐述了战胜癌症的问题，第一句为主题句。作者先指出在20世纪初期，癌症患者几乎没有治愈的希望，然后又说到由于医学技术的发展，我们已经取得了进步，目前约三分之一的病人可以幸存。接下来却写到引发肺癌的直接原因是吸烟，并又话锋一转，讲到其他类型的癌症正在增加，心脏病也在增加。这与主题关系不密切，内容偏离了主题
5、，破坏了段落的整体性。试比较以下一段：,2缺少统一性,Progress is gradually being made in the fight against cancerIn the early 1900s，few cancer patients had any hope Of long-term survivalIn the 1930s，less than one in five cancer victims lived more than five yearsh the 1950s，the ratio was one in fourCurrently，the ratio is down
6、 to one in threeThe gain from one in four tO one in three represents about 58,000 lives saved each year,What I like most about going to college is the chance to meet new and exciting peopleMy roommate is one of the nicest persons Ive ever metHe is good-natured，understanding，and generally easy to get
7、 along withThere is only one thing I dont like about him-he studies too muchHe gets up early to study and stays up lateI cant sleep when his study lamp is onAnd I dont appreciate being awakened at six AMby his alarm clockI sure wish hed ease up on his studyingHell end up going through college withou
8、t having any fun and Ill go through college without enough sleep 段落主题是“我的室友是我遇到的最好的人之一”，但作者对室友好的一面一笔带过，却大谈其与自己格格不入之处，显然违反初衷，没有保持段落的一致性。,2缺少统一性,3缺少连贯性,Finding information in a library can be very confusing。There are so many reference booksTheir functions are not always clearOne good place to start lo
9、oking for facts is the card catalogue，and also，the librarian is always ready to answer questions 在这一段中，句式单调，句子结构不严谨，没有清楚地显示句与句之间的逻辑关系，容易造成理解上的困难。可改写为： Finding information in a library can be very confusing Although there are so many reference books，their functions are not always clear One good place
10、 to start looking for facts is the card catalogueAlso，he librarian is always ready to answer questions,4句型缺少变化,The old man began to tell us the story of his lifeHe was fifteenHe ran away to seaHe travelled to South America，China and AustraliaThen he was too old to workHe came to this country to live
11、 with his relativesHe thnks all the time about the“good olddays“He was young then 在这一段中，句子长度相仿，结构简单，缺乏有效的连接，难免平淡乏味。可改写为：,The old man began to tell us the story of his lifeWhen he was fifteen，he ran away to seaHe travelled to South America，China，and AustraliaWhen he was too old to work，he came to this country , to live with his relativesNow he thinks all the time about the“good old dayswhen he was young。 在这一段中，句子结构有变化，使用了复合句形式，从而使句子间的关系清晰，连贯性强，重点突出。,THANK YOU!,
