《英语幽默笑话》word版

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1、 英语幽默笑话1、 学习笑话,开心不累 由于文化背景的不同,西方式的笑话幽默与东方式的往往差异较大。对于英语学习者而言,往往不易领会英语笑话的真正含义所在,比如:“I love animals; they are delicious.”这句话只有在英语世界中才有其可笑之处,因为对我们中国人而言,几乎所有的动物皆可使用,这是中国饮食文化的一个方面,因此没什么可大惊小怪的。然而对于西方人而言,动物是人类的亲密伙伴,动物同样有生存权及发展权,因此那位喜爱吃动物的食客才会沦为笑柄。 笑话幽默是了解一种文化的一个途径和窗口。只有了解他们的文化,才能会心地笑出来。而当你同老外们交谈时,领会其幽默之处无疑也

2、是你必备的一种技能。不要等别人都笑出来之后你才反应过来。 学习英文笑话,不仅可以让你了解他们的文化,与他们沟通更加顺畅,还可以增添你学习英语的乐趣,让你对英语逐渐产生兴趣,而不是越学越烦,越学越难。 此外,英文笑话里面有许多幽默机智的小对话,对口语学习非常有益。学习经典英文笑话,学说里面的精炼对话,用不了多久,你的英语口语就将变得非常风趣幽默,你将成为最受欢迎的人,所有人都愿意和你交谈,所有人都乐意听你讲话。如果一个人说话毫无风趣可言,老外们必然会将你排除在他们朋友圈子之外,因为他们最最推崇的交友原则就是:这个人必须幽默风趣!2、 多说多练,风趣幽默 请跟随老师朗读并大胆讲给别人听,不要害羞,

3、也不要害怕丢脸,因为这次丢脸是为了将来永远不丢脸,赶快行动起来吧!1. Intelligent son 聪明的儿子One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didnt write the address and addressees name on the envelope.After the son comes back, the father asks him: You have thrown the lett

4、er in the mail box?CertainlyYou have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.Then why you didnt take it back? I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that

5、you do send the letter to who!有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!” 2. Sharing the Apples 分苹果Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with

6、your sister, she said.So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me Id have given you the large one and had the small one myself.Well, said Harry, thats what youve got, so what are you worrying about?妈妈给了哈里两

7、个苹果,一个大一点,另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。所以,哈里就把小个的给了妹妹,自己开始啃那个大个的。哼,妹妹说,如果妈妈给了我,我会把大的给你,把小的留给自己的。对呀,哈里说,你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?3. Snorer 瞌睡者The preacher was vexed(生气的) because a certain member of his congregation(集会,圣会) always fell asleep during the sermon.As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the prea

8、cher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. All who want to go to heaven, please rise. Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering Be seated, the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, All those who want to be with the d

9、evil, please rise.Awaking with a start(吓一跳) , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit(讲道坛) , Well, sir, he said, I dont know what were voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it.牧师非常生气,因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天,正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时,牧

10、师决定要好好教育他一下,让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说:“想去天堂的人,都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来当然,除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后,牧师高声喊道:“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了,他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上,正生气的看着他。这个人说道:“噢,先生,我不知道我们在选什么,但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”4. Two Pieces of Cake 两块蛋糕Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly - take this piece and cut it

11、 two!汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈:当然可以-拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!5.A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, Honey, do you realize that weve been sit

12、ting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, So, you want to switch seats?婚后已久,我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上,我们正坐在早餐桌旁,我暗示道:“亲爱的,你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?” 他放下报纸,眼睛直直地望着我:“因此,你想交换座位吗?6.Its not my fault 不是我的错Mother (reprimand

13、ing训斥,谴责 her small daughter): You mustnt pull the cats tail.Daughter: Im only holding it, Mom. The cats doing the pulling.妈妈(正教训她的女儿):你不该拽猫的尾巴。女儿:妈,我只是握着猫尾巴,它自己在拽。7.一分一块钱 A dollar per pointA professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his

14、desk to wait.Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying A dollar per point.The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 chan

15、ge.一天,教授正在给学生们监考。他发下试卷,然后回到讲台前等待。考试结束了,学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票,还有一张纸条写着:“一分一块钱。”第二堂课,教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。其中一个学生不但得到了试卷还得到64块钱的找零。8.To Buy a Video 买录像机Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.Im afraid we cant afford one, sighed his mother.But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。恐怕我们还买不起,妈妈叹息着说。可第二天当艾莫斯回来时,他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西?妈妈大吃一惊,喘着

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