When you’re a 20 something, you know you need to be mature because you’ve grown up. You’re seen as an adult, not a kid any more. It’s reality, and you really should face it. The faster you learn the most difficult life lessons, the sooner you can lead a great and successful life. Rich Tatum shared the most difficult things he wished he knew when he was 20 on quora:当你已经二十几岁了，你会明白自己已经长大了，需要变得成熟了别人都不会再当你是个孩子了，而是会把你当做成年人一样对待这是你应该要面对的事实你越早学会生活里最难的课程，你就能越早地过上光彩成功的生活里奇· 塔特姆在 quora 上分享了他希望自己在 20 岁的时候就已经能够明白的那些最不容易的事情。
1.Love hurts, but not as much as not loving爱人会有伤心的时候，但是不爱更伤心2.The friendships you nurture will have a greater effect on your life than where you work or what you earn你精心栽培的友情对你的人生有很大影响，甚至超过了你工作的地方和学习到的知识3.You are not your job. You are not your bankroll. You are not the sum of your possessions你的工作不是你的全部你的工资单也不是你的全部你更不是你所有财产的总和4.The company does not love you. It has no heart. You are replaceable. Keep your parachute handy你的公司不会爱你公司是没有感情的你是可替代的随时准备好自己的“跳伞”5.Few decisions will ever shape your future life more than who you choose to marry. To marry well, you must choose well。
你选择和谁结婚是决定你未来人生的最重要的决定，没有之一和对的人结婚，前提是你要做出对的选择6.Love is a commitment爱是一种承诺7.Believe it or not, passions grow out of your values. Make early, wise choices to value what (and who) is good, trustworthy, and praiseworthy不管你信不信，激情来源于你的价值观早一点做出明智的选择，明确对自己来说什么或者谁才是好的、值得信赖的以及值得称赞的8.Integrity preserved is honor won保持完整的人格就是为自己赢得的荣耀9.Rejoice in your health. It fades fast为自己健康的体魄感到高兴，因为健康容易很快消逝10.Find a passion. Pick a hobby, own it: photography, juggling—whatever. Get your 10K hours of perfect practice in early and change your life。
找到让你感觉到激情的事情选择一个爱好，拥有它：摄影、杂技或者随便什么早点享受犹如纯 10k 金般珍贵的时间，从此改变你的生活11.Don’t bother comparing yourself to others—this only leads to heartbreak, anger, and disappointment不要与他人比较—— 这只会让你心碎、生气或者失望12.Most disappointments grow from unmet expectations. Set realistic expectations for yourself, based on your strengths, then strive to exceed them失望大多来源于未能满足的期望根据自己的长处，给自己设置一些实际的期望，然后努力超越它们13.Don’t drive others to meet expectations they’ve committed to — lead, inspire, and help them do it不要逼着别人去完成他们已经在努力完成的目标——引导、鼓励而且帮助他们完成目标。
14.Don’t set expectations for others when they haven’t or cannot commit to them如果别人还没有决定或者没有能力完成一些目标，那就不要给他们设置这些目标15.Don’t complain. Either change your situation, learn to cope, or change your perspective不要抱怨你可以努力改变自己的处境、学习解决问题或者转换一下自己的视角16.Don’t worry about making big bucks out of the gate, worry first about doing whatever you have to do excellently不要急着一出校门口就要赚大把的钞票，先专注于自己可以出色地完成的事情17.Little stuff matters—even in lowly jobs. The boss notices and even if not, your peers and colleagues do细节很重要—— 即使是在简单的工作中。
你的老板会注意的，即使老板没有注意到，你的同学或同事也会注意到的18.Ultimately, privacy is a myth: God sees everything. The cloud records everything. NSA files everything. So, live transparently and don’t waste useless energy hiding failures最后，真正的秘密是不存在的：上帝看得到所有的事情云朵记录着一切国家安全局把一切记录在案所以，请坦荡地生活，不要浪费力气去掩盖失败19.Don’t look down on others because they don’t have what you didn’t earn—your intellect, your beauty, and your culture of birth are undeserved gifts…be humble不要瞧不起别人因为他们只是没有你天生的一些东西—— 你的智力、你的美貌、你出生的环境等，这些都是你本来不该得到的馈赠所以，谦虚点吧20.Failure is an opportunity: no great man or woman ever achieved significance without great failures to learn from。
失败同样是一个机会：伟大的男人或者女人都是从巨大的失败中吸取教训后取得伟大成就的21.Never withhold an apology when it’s merited. Deliver it quickly, sincerely, and personally—before resentment festers该道歉时就道歉道歉的时间要尽快、态度要真诚，还要亲自去道歉—— 趁怨恨还没有滋生的时候22.You don’t need to nurture old guilt when you’re forgiven. But remembering the shame can help you avoid repeats如果别人已经原谅你了，你就没有必要再觉得愧疚了但是记着，记住羞愧可以让你避免重蹈覆辙23.Mere belief in anything signifies little more than assent. It’s trust and behavior that reveal where convictions lie仅仅是相信一切也不过是一种附和真正的信念来源于信赖和行动。
24.The main thing you need to do quickly is to stop doing things quickly. Trade hurry for calm, confidence, and precision你要尽快做的事情主要就是不要再快速地做事情了把快速转变成冷静、自信以及准确25.Everybody needs an editor. Everybody每个人都需要一个编辑每个人！26.Get your work done first so you can play without guilt. Even better, make work play and the fun never ends!先把工作做完，这样你才能没有负担地玩了更好的做法是，把工作当做一种乐趣，这样你的快乐就无穷无尽了27.If you want to develop your passion and gift, stop worrying about the things you do poorly. Go with your strengths!如果你想要发展自己的激情和天赋，不要为自己做得不好的事情焦虑了，专注于自己的长项！28.Avoid fights. Seriously. Avoid them like a plague: nobody wins in a fight, even if you walk away unscathed. But when a fight picks you, leave everything on the mat and give it your all. Hold nothing back。
避免斗争就像躲瘟疫一样躲避斗争：没有人在一场斗争中胜出，即使你毫发无损地离开了但是，如果你被迫迎战，放下一切，全力出击，毫不保留！29.If you’re bored, you’re doing it wrong如果你觉得无聊，那就是你做事情的方式不对30.The skills that will help your career most are the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade. Keep learning最能帮助你的职业的是这些技巧：消化吸收新知识的能力、交流能力还有说服他人的能力不断学习！31.Nothing in this life—no pain, no agony, no failure—compares to the eternal joy of Heaven. Live in light of。