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1、智课网SAT备考资料名师对SAT考试9分作文分段点评第三篇(3)新东方在线为大家整理了名师对SAT考试9分作文分段点评第三篇的相关内容,供考生们参考,以下是详细内容。第二个主体段:Second of all, the earthquake in Wen Chuan can also proof my statement. In May 12 2008, Wen Chuan was faced a horribal natural disaster and about 8 million of citizens lost their homes. When government asked to
2、 rebuild their home, the citizen refused. They thought the restoration their home should be fixed, bet not changed to another strange place. The government, who is the sponsor was shocked by people from WenChuan decision. Nowadays, Wen Chuan becomes a good place again and people living there felt th
3、ey are the most happiness people in the world because they didnt agree with the government to change their living places. The idea of WenChuan people is clear and fixed, they think their original community can offer whatever they want and even the natural disaster cant cut off their living place.第二个
4、主体段,作者举了汶川人民在地震灾后选择原址重建的例子,依然在选材上十分贴合。但由于时间所限,论述得不够充分。与上段类似,在论述“为什么要原址重建、人们到底能够从一块世代相承的土地上得到什么”这个点上基本没有展开,而这本应该是我们论述的重点。在这里我们可以说,一块土地承载的是我们所沿袭下来的生活方式,坚持土地正是坚持这种生活方式;也可以说,家乡地不仅仅是一个居住的地点,它还联系着我们和上一代甚至祖先的感情,而搬迁会把这种情感联系切断;当然也可以说我们这道题的关键点,选择相同的居住地其实是为了与相熟的人生活在一起,从而进一步论述这些相熟的人带给我们的好处。作者在评分标准中的“develop”这一点
5、上做得不够到位,导致“insightfulness”欠缺,是这两段的通病,也是导致这篇文章没有取得一个更高分数的主要原因。另外,时态混乱依然是本段的主要语言问题,虽然没有影响文章的理解,但错误的数量已经影响了文章传达的有效性,也造成了作者的失分。Based on what 2 analysised above, we can that people who stay can be happy instead of changing.综上所述,本文的优点包括开头有效,叙述清晰流畅,所选两个例子非常贴合题意,意识到了题目的深层次含义并有所涉及。缺点主要是关键点论述不到位及时态问题。如果想要冲击10分以上的高分,除了语言上要更严谨之外,在主体段论述中要减少背景信息的铺陈,将论述的重头戏与篇幅大部分放在“how”与“why”这两个关键点上。以上就是新东方在线为大家总结的名师对SAT考试9分作文分段点评第三篇的相关内容,希望对大家有所帮助,最后预祝大家在SAT考试中取得优异的成绩!-本文节选自新东方在线论坛