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1、经典幽默故事经典幽默故事-中英文对照中英文对照经典幽默故事-中英文对照本文章下载于 T 目 录出门在外 第一次与最后一次 第一次坐飞机 钉子还是苍蝇？ 其余的事由我负责 热与冷 士兵的高招 新发现 一个坏印象 工作插曲 安眠药 创造性 催单 模仿鸟儿 你是怎样来的？ 三个外科医生 一面之辞 走私犯 购物传奇 采购过早 翅 膀 零钱不用找了 三声口哨 太有礼貌 优缺点 照相机 中间战术 军旅趣话 大制服 快速反应 视力训练 速度限制 西点军校 真没想到我已经往回跑了这么远 正是士兵 最好的奖赏 生活空间 臭鼬 搞错了 好消息和坏消息 绝 配 耐 性 世界上最伟大的击剑手 只有一次 追星族 童心快
2、语 不用找了 缠住不放 款 待 模 仿 睡前祷告词 我很高兴 我教老师 小妹妹 幸运的母亲 一个数学问题 一切都正常 原来如此 我爱我家 百万富翁 迪斯尼之族 家规 老夫妻吵架 孪生龙虾 势均力敌 同样的服务 我还不认识她呢 校园喜剧 班和笨驴 抄 袭 美 德 区 别 数学没及格 业余工作 钥匙还是接吻 自己做好准备 My First and My Last First Flight A Nail Or A Fly? Ill See to the Rest Chaude and Cold A Soldiers Brilliant Idea New Discovery A Bad Impress
3、ion Sleeping Pills Creative Reminder Imitate Birds How Did You Ever Get Here Three Surgeons One Side of the Case A Smugglar Early Shopper Wings Keep the Change Three Whistles Too Polite Good Points and Bad Points Camera Midway Tactics Large Uniforms Quick Reaction Visual Training Speed Limit West Po
4、int I Didnt Know That I Was So Far Back Already! None Other Than a Soldier Best Reward Skunk A Mistake Good News And Bad News Perfect Match Patience The Worlds Greatest Swordsman Only Once Starstruck Keep the Change Persistance Treat Imitation Bedtime Prayers Im Glad I Taught the Teacher A Baby Sist
5、er Lucky Mother A Problem in Arithmetic Things Have Been Okay Thats Why Millionaire A Trip to Disney A Family Rule An Old Couples Quarrel Twin Lobsters A Fine Match The Same Service I Dont Know Her Class and Ass Plagiarism Virtue Difference Flunking Math Part-time Job Keys? Kiss? Prepare Yourself 第一
6、次与最后一次乔治 35 岁时买了架小型飞机，并开始学习驾驶。不久，他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。 乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天，乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想， “我乘大客机飞行过好几次，还从来没有乘过小飞机，我不妨试一试。 ” 升空后，乔治飞了有半个小时，在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。 后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说：“乔治，非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。 ” 乔治非常吃惊地问：“两次飞行？” “是的，我的第一次和最后一次。 ”马克答道。 My First and My LastWhen George was thirt
7、y-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks. George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, “Ive travelled in a big plane several times, but Ive never been in a s
8、mall one, so Ill go.“ They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air. When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, “Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane.“ Ge
9、rogy was very surprised and said, “Two trips?“ “Yes, my first and my last,“ answered Mark. 第一次坐飞机约翰逊先生从前未乘过飞机，他读过许多关于飞行事故的报道。所以，有一天一位朋友邀请他乘自己的小飞机飞行时，约翰逊先生非常担心，不敢接受。不过，由于朋友不断保证说飞行是很安全的，约翰逊先生终于被说服了，登上了飞机。 他的朋友启动引擎开始在机场跑道上滑行。约翰逊先生听说飞行中最危险的是起飞与降落，所以他吓得紧闭双眼。 过了一两分钟，他睁开双眼朝窗外望去，接着对朋友说道：“看下面那些人，他们看起来就象蚂蚁一样小
10、，是不是？” “那些就是蚂蚁， ”他的朋友答道， “我们还在地面上。 ” First FlightMr. Johnson had never been up in an aerophane before and he had read a lot about air accidents, so one day when a friend offered to take him for a ride in his own small phane, Mr. Johnson was very worried about accepting. Finally, however, his friend
11、persuaded him that it was very safe, and Mr. Johnson boarded the plane. His friend started the engine and began to taxi onto the runway of the airport. Mr. Johnson had heard that the most dangerous part of a flight were the take-off and the landing, so he was extremely frightened and closed his eyes
12、. After a minute or two he opened them again, looked out of the window of the plane, and said to his friend, “Look at those people down there. They look as small as ants, dont they?“ “Those are ants,“ answered his friend. “Were still on the ground.“ 钉子还是苍蝇？一位视力正在衰退的老绅士住进了一家旅馆的客房。他双手各拿一瓶酒。在墙上有只苍蝇，他误以
13、为是枚钉子。他把两只瓶子朝上一挂，瓶子掉下来摔碎了，酒洒了一地。一个女服务员发现发生的事情以后，对他深表同情，决定帮他个忙。 于是，第二天早上他到楼顶花园散步时，她把一枚钉子钉在了苍蝇停过的地方。 这里，老人回到了房里。倒洒的酒味让他想起了那件事。他抬头往墙上一看，苍蝇又停在了那儿!他轻手轻脚地走近，使尽全力拍了一掌。听到一声大叫，好心的女服务员冲进房来。让她大为吃惊的是，可怜的老头正坐在地板上，牙关紧咬，右手滴血不止。 A Nail Or A Fly?An old gentleman whose eyesight was failing came to stay in a hotel roo
14、m with a bottle of wine in each hand. On the wall there was a fly which he took for a nail. So the moment he hung them on, the bottles fell broken and the wine spilt all over the floor. When a waitress discovered what had happened, she showed deep sympathy for him and decided to do him a favour. So
15、the next morning when he was out taking a walk in the roof garden, she hammered a nail exactly where the fly had stayed. Now the old man entered his room. The smell of the spilt wine reminded him of the accident. When he looked up at the wall, he found the fly was there again! He walked to it carefu
16、lly adn slapped it with all his strength. On hearing a loud cry, the kind-hearted waitress rushed in. To her great surprise, the poor old man was there sitting on the floor, his teeth clenched and his right hand bleeding! 其余的事由我负责一位车上的列车员刚发出信号让火车启动，这时他看见一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站台上一节打开的车厢门旁边，跟车厢里另一位漂亮姑娘在说话。 “快点，小姐!”他喊道：“请把门关上。 ” “噢，我还没有和妹妹吻别呢。 ”她回答道。 “请把门关上好了， ”列车员说：“其余的事由我负责。 ” Ill See to the RestA guard was about to sig
