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1、（2013届）题 目: 论中西方婚俗文化差异专 业: 英 语年 级: 2009级学生学号: 学生姓名:某某某指导教师: 某 某On the Differences in Wedding Culture between China and Western CountriesbySBA Thesis Submitted to University In Partial Fulfillment of the RequirementsFor the Degree ofBachelor of ArtsCollegeUniversity May 7, 2013AcknowledgmentsThis the
2、sis has taken me long time to turn it from conception to the final completion. It is a work of joint efforts from many people. So I especially wish to acknowledge the following people.First of all, I would like to express my heartfelt appreciation to my supervisor Ms Huang, whose insightful guidance
3、 and enthusiastic encouragements in the course of my shaping this thesis definitely gain my deepest gratitude. My heartfelt thanks also go to for her instructive suggestions and expert advice on my topic.Secondly, I would like to thank my friends who gave me more ideas and inspiration.Last but not l
4、east, I am much indebted to my family who gave me the most emotional support. I love them.AbstractMarriage has always been an important topic in cultural history research, because the era background and customs reflect has important effect on offspring. Through the research of the wedding in Chinese
5、 and Western culture, we can get a more comprehensive understanding about the cultural and historical background in both China and the west. At the same time, we learned the advantages of western culture under the principle of maintaining their own cultural characteristics in order to update our own
6、 cultural deficiencies and avoid our weaknesses. The purpose of the study on the wedding is to research the cultural differences between the two nations，which will make a bit less conflict and contradiction in intercultural communication. The meaning of the study is that it makes beneficial to the c
7、ommunication between different countries. During the research, we learned how to communicate with people from different cultures so as to avoid the cultural conflict. It also can cultivate our social practice ability，which will lay the foundation for our future work. This paper focuses on the differ
8、ences of marriage customs between China and the west. Through the exploration, we can find the differences in cultural background, religion, attitude, aesthetic taste and thoughts caused by internal parts. Key words: wedding culture, custom, cultural differences摘 要婚俗一直是文化史研究的一个重要课题，因为婚俗反映出的时代背景与风俗民情
9、对后代有重要影响。通过对中西文化中婚礼的研究，我们能更全面的了解中西方文化历史背景知识，同时在保有自身文化特色的原则下不断吸取西方国家文化的优点，更新自己文化的不足之处，达到扬长避短的目的。研究婚礼习俗的目的在于研究两国之间的不同的文化差异，让跨文化之间的交流少一点冲突与矛盾。其意义是有益于各国之间的交流与沟通。同时通过课题研究，让我们学会与不同文化的人们如何去交流，从而避免文化冲突，还可以培养我们的社会实践能力，为我们以后踏上工作岗位奠定基础。本文着重探讨中西方不同的婚姻习俗的差异。通过探索中西方不同的婚姻习俗的差异，我们可以找出内部方面导致的不同。他们文化背景、宗教、态度、审美情趣和思想。
10、关键词： 婚礼文化，习俗，文化差异ContentsAcknowledgementsiAbstractii摘 要iii1 Introduction12 Marriage12.1 Definition of Marriage22.2 Roles of Marriage23 Chinese Marriage Customs33.1 Traditional Chinese Marriage Customs33.1.1 Three Papers and Six Etiquettes43.1.2 The Order of Chinese Traditional Wedding43.1.3 Etiquett
11、es and Customs at the Chinese Wedding63.1.4 Taboo at the Chinese Wedding73.2 Modern Chinese Marriage Customs83.2.1 Marriage Registration83.2.2 The Difference between Traditional and Modern Chinese Wedding94 Western Marriage Customs104. 1 Traditional Western Marriage Customs104.1.1 Engagement104.1.2
12、Order of the Western Wedding104.1.3 Etiquettes and Customs at the Western Wedding114.1.4 Taboo at the Western Wedding124.2 Modern Western Marriage Customs124.2.1 Marriage Registration124.2.2 The Difference between Traditional and Modern Western Wedding135 Differences between Chinese and Western Marr
13、iage Customs145.1 Different Marriage Media145.2 Freedom165.3 Right175.4 Different Purposes of Marriage176 Reasons for the Differences Above186.1 Religions186.2 Cultural Origins186.3 Behavior Standards196.4 Marriage Concepts206.5 Geographies207 Conclusion21Bibliography23iiOn the Differences in Weddin
14、g Culture between China and Western Countries1 IntroductionLanguage is the carrier of culture and part of the culture. In every nation, Language can embody and reflect peoples different modes of thinking, values, social awareness, religious beliefs, habits and customs. On the other side, language is
15、 deeply influenced and shaped by culture, steaming from culture. Language, as a symbol system, expresses traces of a particular society and reflects unique cultural heritage. In the different natural environment, different nations create their own culture, and at the same time the culture shape thei
16、r life. The difference of wedding culture can be an example. The wedding ceremony as an organic constituent of culture in western culture is also gradually shows the different wedding customs, and these differences are also evident in the Chinese and Western cultural differences. This paper aims at
17、the wedding venue, apparel, hue, marriage and other aspects of the differences were compared, and the cause of the difference is analyzed, on the Chinese and western different wedding culture. 2 Marriage For some people, marriage is the most solemn pledge we make in our lifetimes. To wed is both the
18、 most basic of all human pledges, and at the same time the most sublime. However countries around the world own different wedding traditions. Taking Europe as an example, wedding traditions in Western Europe are as varied as the countries that make up the region from Ireland to Italy, from Portugal
19、to Switzerland and everything in between, the wonderful, colorful wedding traditions of Western Europe span almost a quarter of our world. So, we should have a better understanding of other and our own culture by comparing the differences of them.2.1 Definition of MarriageThe definition of marriage
20、is the religious or legal process through which people become husband and wife, husband and husband or wife and wife, or the state of being married.Actually there are various words proposed by many great persons. Marriage is the union of two different surnames, in friendship and in love, in order to
21、 continue the posterity of the former sages, and to furnish those who shall preside at the sacrifices to heaven and earth, at those in the ancestral temple, and at those at the altars to the spirits of the land and grain. 2.2 Roles of MarriageIn the traditional marriage, it was possible to define ma
22、le and female roles easily by the division of labor. The husband is the leader of the family, and the wife must submit to the husband.In recent years, many couples continue to have a traditional relationship of this kind. There are two important differences in male and female roles now. One is that
23、both men and women have many more choices. They may choose to work or stay at home. Both men and women may choose roles that are comfortable for them. A second difference in male and female roles is that within marriage many decisions and responsibilities are shared. The husband and wife may choose
24、to have children, or they may not. If they have children, the man may take care of them some of the time, all of the time, or not at all. The woman may want to stay at home and take care of the children. Or she may want to go to work. Men and women now decide these things together in a marriage. Man
25、y married people now share these decisions and the responsibilities of their families.3 Chinese Marriage Customs3.1 Traditional Chinese Marriage CustomsLike other things, wedding rituals have the same development and evolving process. In the early days of humanity, the human relationship in a very l
26、ong period of time still kept the irregular relations like the animal world. Marriage, in China, has gone through a long time. As a most grand etiquette, it has always given a high degree of attention. Since the beginning of Zhou Dynasty, Chinese wedding should comply with six procedures, which is t
27、he so-called “six etiquettes.” And Later in Tang and Ming Dynasty, marriage also complied with the “six etiquettes”. As time goes by, although many wedding rituals experienced various changes “Six etiquettes” as the basic pattern has not changed much. It is still essential and core in wedding ritual
28、s. Wedding has changed much today, but in many places there still remains traditional wedding rituals. 3.1.1 Three Papers and Six Etiquettes In ancient China, the proposal was an elaborate process following the principle of the “Three Letters and Six Etiquettes”, which began by hiring a go-between,
29、or matchmaker, for the two families. Those with the most say in who actually got engaged were the parents of the bride and groom not the individual bride and groom.The three letters were the betrothal letter, the gift letter with a gifts list and the wedding letter used on the day the bridegroom met
30、 his bride at her home. They are going to be used on the day of engagement, the bridegrooms giving the presents of marriage to the brides and going and fetching the bride. Six Etiquettes includes asking for engagement, asking for the name and births of the newlyweds, showing some presents for engage
31、ment to the brides, giving the presents of marriage to the brides, choosing a good date for the wedding and going and fetching the bride on the day of the wedding. All these etiquettes must be completely in proper order before the wedding, and then the formal wedding can be held.3.1.2 The Order of C
32、hinese Traditional WeddingAccording to the traditional Chinese culture, birth, marriage, and death are most important in ones life. Especially, marriage is the only event that can be controlled by human beings. Thus, wedding has been held in China as a magnificent ceremony for thousands of years. Th
33、e Chinese traditional wedding ceremony shows not only the fortune of the two families involved, but also the abundant heritage of Chinese civilization.In feudal society, a marriage would be decided not by a young couples love, but by their parents desires. Only after a matchmakers introduction and w
34、hen parents considered the two family conditions were similar and could be matched, would the marriage procedures go forward. Conditions that should be taken into consideration included wealth and social status. If a boys family was well-off or an official family, his parents would never permit him
35、to marry a girl from a poor family. Essential to the marriage process were the commonly recognized three Letters and six etiquettes.In the traditional wedding, the main colors are red, and this is also the representative of the traditional Chinese festivity colors, the bride wears red in general, we
36、aring Fengguan, still above a red scarf. While the groom wearing red long gown mandarin jacket, wearing a red cap along as Chinese believed red foreshadowed delight. In a Chinese legend, the God-in-moon, who was known as the god of love in tales, would tie a red string between the man and the woman
37、who were meant to become a couple in the future. Therefore, no matter how long the distance was between these two persons, the red string would bring them together. Finally, the magic power of the red string would have them get married. Hereafter, red was considered to have a powerful meaning and us
38、ed on many royal occasions, especially at weddings. Since red was the symbol of utmost happiness and joy, almost all the backgrounds of Chinese traditional wedding ceremonies were red. Traditionally, the red double happiness (Shuang-xi) as well as the red dragons and phoenixes design was thought to
39、be meaningful and indispensable in weddings. The former signified a happy future for the newlyweds, while the latter demonstrated the firm relationship between them. In addition, special flower decorations showed the characteristic of Chinese culture. Contrary to the flowers used in Western weddings
40、, traditional Chinese never used white flowers in ceremonies except funerals. The flowers for weddings were red peonies and orchids, connoting love, new life, safety and peace. 3.1.3 Etiquettes and Customs at the Chinese WeddingThere is a certain order in Chinese wedding. Generally speaking, the who
41、le process of the wedding includes a series of details. Firstly, going and fetching the bride. On the day of the formal wedding, the bride is dressed up by the elders at her home, waiting for the bridegroom. When the bridegroom meets his bride, they are to say goodbye to the brides family members af
42、ter worshipping the brides ancestors. They bow down before her parents, after which the newlyweds can set off after the brides mother drapes kerchief over for her.Secondly, performing the formal wedding ceremony. In China, people will select a good date very carefully for a big event, especially for
43、 ones marriage or death, for there are many taboos to avoid and they think a good date may bring good luck. Usually, they consult professional Mr. Fengshui(The one who studies the geomantic omen professionally) for advice.People paste congratulatory couplets and large red Chinese character on the do
44、orframes and walls. And they also lay out red blanket on the ground. The bride and bridegroom will be led across the red blanket, the colorful paper strips and one kind of spray stuff will be setting off above the new couples heads. They walk shoulder by shoulder to the front of their parents who ha
45、ve already sat in a row of chairs at the end of the blanket. They bow down before their parents three times, and then they bow to each other three times, too. After that they formally become a couple. Thirdly, disturbing the nuptial. After the wedding feast, some of their close friends will plan to
46、make fun of the new couple in their bridal chamber, and usually they play games. The new couple cant have a rest until all the friends stop to left, and the whole wedding ends.Lastly, going back to the brides three days latter. On the third day after the marriage, the bride must go back to her paren
47、ts with her husband with roasted meat and some other gifts. There, they worship her ancestors again, and they can even stay for a period of time before they return their own home.3.1.4 Taboo at the Chinese Wedding On the day of the wedding, people cant say bad words. People say it will bring somethi
48、ng bad if they dont follow the customs. Everything prepared for the wedding must be in pairs.When the bride arrives at the bridegrooms, she cant touch the threshold when she goes across, or she will bring bad luck. The pregnant women and the women who lose a parent or her husband recently cant atten
49、d the wedding, and they can not touch the brides new clothes and all of the items in the bridal chamber. If they did this, she had to crawl through the new couples unmarried brothers legs before she can go out.3.2 Modern Chinese Marriage Customs3.2.1 Marriage RegistrationAdministrate scope of this m
50、arriage registration authority: This authority is a marriage registration authority for China mainland residents, whose permanent residencies are at Haizhu district; permanent residencies refer to both parties and either party. Administration of marriages is handled by municipal Civil Affairs Bureau
51、. Normally, you will have to go to the office in the jurisdiction in which the Chinese partner is registered on her or his hukou though there are a few reports that couples have been able to marry in an office local to where the Chinese partner is living. It is in the nature of the Chinese system th
52、at there can be such variations in the implementation of the rules, so it is always worth checking on procedures when you visit to collect an application form.The persons marrying must reach the required minimum age: for men that is 22 years and for women 20 years old, except that persons may marry
53、younger with parental permission. Persons must not be married to another person who already has a husband or wife: having more than one husband or wife in any country is not permitted under Chinese law.Only a male and a female, not two persons of the same gender, can get married in China. 3.2.2 The
54、Difference between Traditional and Modern Chinese WeddingChina is an ancient country which exists for thousands of years. During this time, many things have changed a great deal, especially when china carried out the economic reforms in 1978. Economics development led to great change in marriage. In
55、 a traditional Chinese marriage, people knew each other by an introduction. Parents would inquire about their social status, economic situation and characteristic of family. If their family had confliction with each other, the marriage between two lovers wouldnt be realized. However, in modern socie
56、ty, people will find their husband or wife by themselves. They are sometimes their classmates, colleagues, or acquaintances. Though many new couples still rely on their family, they are more eager to live on themselves. Therefore, the background is not as important as before. Whats more, nowadays, s
57、erious family resentments are not very common, so love becomes the premise. Betrothal gifts are both needed for traditional marriage and modern marriage, but they had changed from “four household articles” to more luxury things like a car or a house.Another big difference is the wedding ceremony. Tr
58、aditional weddings are complicated. When the ceremony finished, the couple might feel exhausted. In contrast, modern weddings, like western weddings, are much pithily. We use a car instead of a horse and white dresses instead of red cheongsams. No matter what kind of ceremony, it would be an unforge
59、ttable memory. No matter what you choose, a traditional wedding or a modern wedding, the happiness will not decrease. There is no doubt that marriage will keep changing, but I hope the love between couples will not change.4 Western Marriage Customs4. 1 Traditional Western Marriage Customs4.1.1 Engag
60、ementIn Western countries, people always engage first and then they can hold the formal wedding. Many etiquettes and symbols need to be paid much attention to, especially the diamond ring at the engagement ceremony. Diamond is considered as the best symbol of forever love. The diamond is produced by
61、 heat energy and press, which makes it the hardest material discovered by human beings so far. Thus, the bridegroom must send a diamond ring to his bride to show his promise of forever unchanged love at their engagement ceremony.4.1.2 Order of the Western WeddingMost Westerners are Christians, so We
62、stern wedding is always held in the church, presided by the priest. On the day of the wedding, the new couples relatives and friends gather at the church to celebrate their wedding and to be the witnesses of their marriage.As the ceremony begins, the bridegroom and his groomsmen stand with the pries
63、t, facing the audience. Music signals the entrance of the bridesmaids, followed by the beautiful bride, and the bride will be led into the church by her father. Then the priest will ask the new couple and all people to present several questions one by one, beginning with the bridegroom, and then the
64、y give their promises of marriage to each other “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” After that they can exchange their rings and kiss each other. Finally, the priest will declare their marriage, which means the end of the wedding.4.1.3 Etiquettes and Customs a
65、t the Western Wedding“Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Silver Sixpence in Her Shoe”. (A traditional saying means good luck for a bride.)Each item in this poem represents a good-luck taken for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriag
66、e will be happy.“Something old” symbolizes continuity with the brides family and the past.“Something new” means optimism and hope for the brides new life ahead.“Something borrowed” is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry
67、over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family. “Something Blue” dates from the ancient Rome time, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity, as evidenced in proverbs like“Marry in blue, lover be true”. And finally, a sil
68、ver sixpence dates back to a Scottish customs of a groom putting a silver coin under his foot for good luck, today it represents wealth and financial security.4.1.4 Taboo at the Western WeddingThere are also many taboos at the Western wedding, especially concerning the brides wedding dress. White we
69、dding dress must not be matched with red shoes, because red shoes means to jump into the fire pit. Red flower, red belt and other red things mustnt be matched with white dress, either, since white symbolizes pure while red is the opposite. White wedding dress should match white, golden or silver sho
70、es. The bride must cover her face with a veil at the ceremony, for it is not only a decoration but also representing a dividing line, and it cant be exposed by other people except the bridegroom.The bridegroom always stands on the right of his bride, in order to avoid others from grabbing his bride
71、away. When the new couple goes back to their bridal chamber, the bridegroom must hug the bride into the house and put her on the bed, avoiding her getting into the house with her left foot first, for they think that may bring bad luck to the new family.4.2 Modern Western Marriage Customs4.2.1 Marria
72、ge RegistrationThe person who is responsible for the marriage registration is a registrar in the Bureau. It is for his/her obligation to check the documents provided by persons who are about to get married. He/She should follow the procedures to finish the registration.4.2.2 The Difference between T
73、raditional and Modern Western Wedding Chinese are totally different from westerners, and trying to compare these two cultures is like comparing day with night. Not all things western are good, and not all things Chinese are bad. It is a question of perspective, beliefs and values. One should learn t
74、o appreciate the differences between the Chinese and Western culture to be better able to understand these differences.China, as a country with an ancient civilization, represents east, but there are many differences between Chinese and Western in languages. For example, people in china and west wil
75、l say something before asking for help, for example in china, people always say “thank you” and “sorry” , people in west always say “Thank you”, “I m sorry”, “Excuse me”, and so on. In General, these expressions are easy to say and will not cause any trouble. However, there are still differences. Th
76、ank you and Please in the west is widely used. If you ask for help , such as borrowing pencils, asking the way calling people answer the phone, Chinese people often dont say these kind words, particularly to relatives and friends.Western educations guiding principle is: everyone is a special talent.
77、 Just because a student is not good at math, to conclude that it is stupid, perhaps the students association is the biological, physical, or music, literature and other fields. Western-style education, giving all students the opportunity to realize their full potential, and exercise in practical met
78、hods of solving problems in the community in the future, to make them more suitable for the needs of modern society, letting their talent can be played. This is one of the reasons why the level of higher education and national science and technology can lead the world in the West. Now in China, the
79、Imperial does not exist, college entrance examination also faced with challenge and reform, the kind of rote education approach will sooner or later be replaced by the more scientific method, traditional education idea in our minds should also be changed.5 Differences between Chinese and Western Mar
80、riage CustomsIt is clear that Chinese marriage custom and western marriage custom differ from each other in many aspects. In Chinese marriage custom the matchmaker has many functions and youths have no right to choose and women are not on an equal footing with men. By contrast, in western marriage c
81、ustom, the priest has functions and the youths, particular the man, have legal right to choose whom they wanted to marry and men and women are equal.5.1 Different Marriage Media Matchmaker and priest are different. Matchmaker has many functions. Almost in every process in marriage in old times, the
82、matchmaker would attend. First, it was the matchmaker that introduced a man to a woman or a woman to a man, most the former. If matchmaker did not introduce them to each other, they would not know about each other for ever. If some accident event happened, that is they knew each other not through th
83、e matchmaker, they would be called “committing adultery with each other” or “a thief if a man and a whore if a woman”. Second, the other procedures after introduction in marriage were also done by the matchmaker. There were three conditions in marriage in old China that were the matchmakers proposal
84、s, six gifts and meet, people kept honoring the ancestors as the center in these three conditions. The regulation of listening to matchmakers proposals was the rule that people must abide by. The reason was not only the function the matchmaker had in society, but also the meaning that the matchmaker
85、 had in later generation reproduction. In modern times, matchmaker still has some of above functions such as the function of introduction. Priest does not always function. It is his duty only when he hosts the wedding ceremony. It was not the priest who introduces the man to the woman or the woman t
86、o the man. In Christians opinions, wedding ceremony is considered as an important way to get gods save and wedding ceremony is a very important part of marriage. Priest plays an essential role in it. And marriage is not valid, unless the ceremony is hosted by priest. There are three conditions in ma
87、rriage too. First, there should be some correct things that are used when go to church; second, correct means to go to church especially correct reading prayer book; third, correct motive to go to church which emphasizes action by churchs order. It can be seen that church is important in western peo
88、ples eyes, so the priest is necessary when holding a marriage. And marriage is tinged with mystery because of these conditions. 5.2 FreedomFree or Not In old China, people looked at the country and society as the standard, thus, “behest of parents” played an absolute important role in marriage. It w
89、as the principles of heaven and earthright and proper when parents dealt with the sons or daughters marriage only by their own opinions. Marriage in China was arranged by family. “Behest of parents and proposals of matchmaker” decided everything about marriage. Usually the husband and the wife did n
90、ot meet each other before getting married. They did not know what their husband or wife liked. Even sometimes they did not know the names of each. If they did not agree the marriage, it was no use because the right of decision belonged to their parents. The marriage would still be held. The youths a
91、re not free when chose the lover in some places even today. Marriage marks the beginning of complete independence from the parents. According to the English law, no one was allowed to get married under the age of sixteen. Marriage between the age of sixteen and eighteen must have the parents consent
92、. But when the girl was over eighteen, she was free to choose her love. Youths in Britain were relatively free. In Britain, church pointed out “agreement principle” which pointed out that the marriage was valid only when the two persons involved in marriage expressed freely and openly in front of at
93、 least two chief witness at wedding ceremony; the marriage was not valid when there existing misunderstanding or force in marriage. Under this “agreement principle”, the father should listen to the daughters suggestion, and the father should not force the daughter to marry with the man whom she did
94、not want to marry. Thus, it can be seen from this point that, ones willing was superior to anything. 5.3 RightEqual or Not Chinese men were hold up as “sky” and women were considered as “earth” in old times. Sky was superior to earth in old peoples eyes. And women must comply with three obedience an
95、d four virtues. But man could have a wife and many concubines. In north of China in some places, husband and wife are still unequal. The Bible says that husband should respect wife because both of them are blessed by God. And it emphasizes that the relations between husband and wife should include d
96、uty. 5.4 Different Purposes of Marriage The main purpose of getting marriage in China is to continue the male offspring. In western countries, they are influenced deeply by religion, especially the Christianity. They think that it is the God who has created marriage. There are three purposes of the
97、marriage created by God. First, the couple is lifelong companion with each other; they serve God together. Then get married, start career and produce an heir to carry on the pious descendants. The final purpose is carrying on the pious descendants to serve to God. So they do not stress the blood rel
98、ationship. They can remedy the defect of non-child by adopting other children.6 Reasons for the Differences Above6.1 Religions Among all the religion by which people seek to worship, Christianity is by far the most influential in the west. Every phase of mans life is touched by this religion, so muc
99、h so that it has become part and parcel of western culture. British dominant religious belief is Christian faith; or rather the U.K. is a country of Christianity. Bishop ordered marriage law as the fourth chapter in 1234. After issuing the law, it was carried on under the strong church control. In 1
100、917, the marriage law referred: wedding ceremony should be held by priest or at least two witness; the willing should be true and not be forced. Most Chinese people believes Buddhism which advocates “why and because relationship”. In this point of view, sky is the reason, and earth is the result; pa
101、rents are the reason, and sons or daughters are the result; husband is the reason, and wife is the result. 6.2 Cultural Origins Traditional Chinese traditional marriage custom was characterized by a distinctive patriarchal clan system. “Three obedience and four virtues” decided that women should bec
102、ome an appendage to the men and be subordinated to the family interest. It was also characterized by strong feudal political color. Marriage sometimes was a kind of ways to ally in political. The policy of cementing friendly relations through political marriages was a typical example in history. The
103、 traditional marriage custom was influenced deeply by Confucianism. There sill exists differences between males and females in marriage custom today. This phenomenon is also caused by the traditional Chinese culture. Western marriage custom is influenced deeply by religion, however, which emphasizes
104、 both men and women are Gods sons and daughters, so they are equal unlike Chinese who pay more attentions to boys. Western people consider girls are also the fruit of love. 6.3 Behavior StandardsWhen communicate, People of different cultural backgrounds often use its own code of conduct for the soci
105、ety to judge the reasonableness of each others behavior, due to differences in norms of both sides, there will be mutual misunderstanding and unpleasant or even worse results. For example, in China, tapping a childs head is a friendly way, while in Western countries; this is a great lack of respect
106、manner for children. So, in a cross-cultural communication, understanding and applying the Code of Conduct correctly can ensure the smooth progress of cross-cultural communication. We must understand each others codes of conduct, in particular, what conduct is prohibited. The best way is to follow t
107、he principle of Romans do.6.4 Marriage Concepts Chinese people once thought that marriage was a kind of ways to increase families, offspring and protect and enhance familys reputation and position. Marriage would add a girl of a clan other than ones own, so marriage was looked as the important event
108、 of family but not ones own event. The love between the man and the woman was not the first condition of marriage. Today the marriage concepts have not changed much especially in some backward places. The aim of getting marriage for them is till to increase families, offspring and protect and enhanc
109、e familys reputation and position. In western countries, marriage is the loves home to return to. The aim of marriage is to make the woman and the man live together all the life. It is the personal affair. They have no duty to increase family, offspring and protect and enhance familys reputation and
110、 position. The marriage just make them live together. Thus those westerners stress feeling not the familys interest or reputation when they are choosing lover. 6.5 Geographies Britain is over one thousand kilometers from south to north. Its coastline runs about ten thousand kilometers, making it one
111、 of the countries with the longest coastlines in the world. In Britain no place is over one hundred and twenty kilometers from the sea. During the fight with the sea, British people feel the strong force of the nature that is difficult to control. Thus they believed God. They think God is omnipotent
112、 and they respect God very much. Chinas geography is extremely varied and complex, including mountains, plateaus, plains, grasslands, basins, hills, islands, desert, glaciers, and frozen earth. Mountain areas cover about two-thirds of the total land area. This geography decides that Chinese people l
113、ive mainly by farming and live in groups, and later formed the patriarchal clan system with rigidly stratified. This makes Chinese people respect the person that exists in objective reality that is the ancestors that created tribe and saved the country. Chinese people respect ancestors and western p
114、eople respect God that lead the spirit world in China into ethics that take the main position and in western religion take the main position. Thus it causes marriage differences.7 Conclusion Marriage custom in both China and western countries has gone through for a long time. As a most grand thing i
115、n peoples life, it has always attracted a high degree of attention. As time goes by, although many wedding customs have experienced various changes, as the basic pattern, “six etiquettes” in China has not changed much. Thats to say proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal pr
116、esents to the girls family, discussing the date of marriage and meeting the bride are still essential and core in marriage custom. In western countries, a valid marriage should experience proposal, surnames, choosing the day and holding the wedding. There are four differences between the two kinds o
117、f marriage custom. Firstly, the marriage media are different. Marriage media in China is matchmaker, but priest in western countries. Secondly, youths have no free right to choose their lover in China, but in western countries people are much freer on this point. Thirdly, westerners are equal than C
118、hinese in marriage. Fourthly, the main purpose of getting marriage in China is to continue the male offspring. However in western countries, there are three purposes: the couple serve God; then get married and start career; last is produce an heir to carry on the pious descendants. The differences e
119、xisting in Chinese and western marriage custom are inevitable. The different religious, cultural origin, marriage concept, and geographies caused different marriage custom in both worlds. These differences maybe will still exist for a long times between Chinese marriage custom and western marriage c
120、ustom because it is not easy to change a kind of traditional culture or custom witch has remains for thousands of years.Bibliography1 JiaYuxin. Intercultural Communication Research. Shanghai Foreign Language Education Press，1997.2 Linell Davis. Doing Culture: Cross-Cultural Communication in Action.
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