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1、用心 爱心 专心 1建立信任(Confidence building)The foundation of any relationship, whether it be with a Business associate, spouse, parent, client or, friend, is trust. Trust is not something that can be built with quick fix techniques. Rather, it is something that is cultivated through consistent habits in you
2、r interactions. The following are twelve patterns of behavior that increase trust in your relationships.1. Be transparentDo not try to hide things from others. Refuse to have any hidden agendas. You might think you can pull a fast one on someone else. You cant. Most people have good intuition and ev
3、en though they may not be able to consciously determine that you are hiding something, they very likely will have an uneasy feeling around you. If they dont feel comfortable around you, they wont be able to trust you.Another sinister aspect of having hidden agenda is that it erodes your ability to t
4、rust others. You will assume that if you arent fully forthcoming, other people arent either. When you are trustworthy, however, you will see others as more trustworthy too.2. Be sincereThis is similar to the previous point. Only say what you mean. Be impeccably honest with your words. Refuse to try
5、and craft your words to manipulate others. Dont give fake compliments, patronize others or say something just because you think you are supposed to. Again, people have good BS detectors. When others know that you only speak genuinely, it increases their capacity to trust you. Everyone loves authenti
6、city.3. Focus on adding valueIn any relationship, always have the best interest of others at heart. Work hard to give as much or more than you get. When you consistently add value to someones life, they not only feel like you are on their side, they also have the urge to reciprocate. In Business rel
7、ationships, this means always under-promise and over-deliver. In personal relationships, focusing on meeting the needs of the other person instead of taking in order to get your own needs met.4. Be presentThe last thing anyone wants is to have a conversation with someone who isnt there. Instead of r
8、etreating into your head, focus on listening to 用心 爱心 专心 2others. Whenever you are with someone, make them your primary focus. Dont think about work while you are at Home talking to your spouse. Dont think about life at Home when you are with a client. When it comes to relationships, presence means
9、quality time and quality time builds trust.5. Always treat people with respectEver since we were little kids, we have been taught to be respectful. However, when our standards get violated or there is no one around to see (read: we dont think there will be any consequences), we can often engage in p
10、etty behavior. This encompasses a wide range of actions from personal attacks during arguments to gossiping behind someones back.Always remember that another persons inherent worth as a human being entitles them to be treated with dignity. When people know that you will always treat with them respec
11、t, it is very natural for trust to flourish.6. Take responsibilityWhen you mess up, which you invariably will, be quick to clean it up. Skip the excuses and just take responsibility. Justifying and making excuses may help you in the short term but in the long run, it does nothing for your character
12、or the level of trust you are given. Accountability is a rare trait these days with most people wanting to avoid negative consequences at all costs. Dare to be different and you will win the trust of others.7. Focus on feedbackUnless youre a mind reader, the only way you can know how well a relation
13、ship is going is by getting feedback from the other person. Be not only willing to accept feedback actively seek it out. Many people are afraid to give you feedback, especially if its negative, out of fear that they will offend. Ask with sincerity and respond respectfully and others will be far more
14、 willing. Take both the positive and negative into account along with your own judgment and adjust your behaviour accordingly.8. Take criticism wellLearn to handle criticism with grace. Instead of getting defensive, consider the possibility that what the other person is saying might be true. Closing
15、 yourself off from criticism has the effect of closing off all communication.In some cases, the criticism may indeed be inaccurate. In these instances, you have the opportunity to show empathy. Try to understand the problem from 用心 爱心 专心 3the other persons point of view. Perhaps the criticism is jus
16、t a thinly veiled attack that stems from a deeper upset they may have with you. In these cases, your willingness to dig deeper without getting defensive will certainly enhance the trust in the relationship.9. Set boundariesBe clear about how you expect people to behave around you. Again, do this in a mature manner: be sincere and respectful. When you have clear standards, people know exactly how to behave around you and that gives them certainty. The strength that you
