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1、 高中英语新高考-作文指导与解读：细说高分作文隐蔽失分点所谓高分作文隐蔽失分点，不是指句子里的主谓一致，冠词等低级错误，而是一些学生英语水平很好，但是往往因为不注意写作中的一些易错细节，导致作文失分。譬如以前我经常听人说：电脑节省了时间。这句话我们理解起来不难，但英语不行，因为电脑是物，怎么能节省时间呢？应该是这样说：电脑使我们节省了时间。说到底，就是英语在语义逻辑上很讲究，可以说是一根筋。这次寒假写作网课里，我们十个批改老师认真总结了同学们的这些错误，希望读者认真看看，一定大有好处。我的应试写作教学思路三步：1.积累词块，此阶段鼓励孩子多积累，多运用。2.逻辑思维，此阶段要杜绝词块的盲目堆砌
2、，要考虑主题句和支撑句是否逻辑上浑然一体。3.注重简洁，此阶段要尽量把重复的意思给删掉，长难句能否用一个短语代替。因此下面的错误整理归类也是按照这三个步骤来进行的。一、语法错误（1）省略不当（错误程度：五星）例6：原句：Not only can they share secrets and growing pains in their life, but also can help each other when in adversity.修改：Not only can they share secrets and growing pains in their life, but they a
3、lso can help each other when in adversity.原因：not onlybut also倒装后，第二个句子的主语不要漏掉。（2）逻辑主语，前后矛盾（错误程度：四星）例1：原句：First of all, to stay away from viruses, a balanced diet and sufficient sleep are both indispensable.修改：First of all, a balanced diet and sufficient sleep are both indispensable for us to stay aw
4、ay from viruses.原因：不定式表目的的to do/in order to的逻辑主语必须和主句的主语一致。例2：As an individual, we should do our part to protect the earth.修改：Each individual should do our part to protect the earth.分析：an individual和we明显就在数上不一致，这种句子还是受汉语的影响大，英语中常用：Being the responsible individuals,we(3)对称错误（错误程度：四星）原句：the plan can b
5、ring home to the public the significance of having a harmonious society and finally fulfill peoples social responsibility.修改：the plan can bring home to the public the significance of having a harmonious society and finally help people fulfill their social responsibility.分析：很多同学因为局子里有and, or连接的动词，但是写
6、到后面忘记了两个动词的时态和非谓语形式是一致的。二、逻辑错误（1）偏离中心，东拼西凑（错误程度：五星）例1：原句：As to me, the only child, sometimes I feel lonely, unable to find someone to talk with when I am confused.Fortunately, I have learned to relieve my pressure by going outdoors to enjoy sunshine and fresh air. It cultivates my mind.修改：Asto me, t
7、he only child, sometimes I feel lonely, unable to find someone to talk with when I am confused.If only I had a brother or a sister!原因：作者后面半句与主题句没有任何联系，给人东扯西拉的感觉。很多作者洋洋洒洒几百词，实际上都是空洞无物。这种错误直接的后果就是，给人一种拼凑感，要解决这个问题，需要认真考虑句子的因果关系。（2）汉式主语，直接翻译（错误程度：五星）例2：原句：From my perspective, learning English is to broa
8、den our horizons and appreciate another culture.修改：From my perspective, learning English can help us broaden our horizons and appreciate another culture.原因：有些动词的主语不能是物体，不能按照汉语的习惯来。如何改正呢？这个其实要归根到汉语写作了。你如果仔细研究一下自己说的话或汉语作文，会发现有很多严格讲起来都是有语病或者产生歧义的。就如同上面这个句子，汉语说：学英语还可以欣赏另外一种文化。似乎也能明白。但是读者想想，学英语是动作，怎么能够欣赏
9、文化呢？而英语是绝对的逻辑性语言，必须把话说得天衣无缝。例3：We should be appropriate to play computer more should pay attention to the life of afriend.修改：We should be appropriate to play computer more should pay attention to the life of a friend.分析：appropriate的用法是：it is appropriate (for sb) to do sth，我现在很害怕见到学生用sb is adj. to do
10、，十有八九都是错误的。例4：原句：Besides, compared with one child, the family with two children is likely to feel less lonely. Children can help strengthen familial emotional ties. The change of cultivating cooperation plays an indispensable role in shaping ones values and good personality.修改：Besides,children with
11、siblings are likely to feel less lonely. So the policy can help strengthen familial emotional ties and cultivate cooperation, which plays an indispensable role in shaping good personality.分析：作者说“家庭会孤单”，应该是人感到孤单，非家庭。后面的说法有些也不是太好。例5：Once addicted to them, young people have high possibility to end thei
12、r promising future.修改：Once addicted to them, young people will be robbed of their promising future.分析：该作者是直接套用汉语的说法，“我有可能做某事“，但英语中和possibility搭配的又很少见到用人，倒是likely可以。以上可见，对单词搭配的准确把握才是写作中避免汉式英语的关键。一个动词，主语是什么，宾语是什么，绝不是可以举一反三地去类推，都是有套路的。（3）褒贬混用（错误程度：三星）例6：In addition, the increasing globalization facilit
13、ates the transport of drugs into our country修改：In addition, the increasing globalization accelerates the transport of drugs into our country分析：facilitate这个词可以说是高级词汇，但是你要明白它不是谁都可以作宾语，一般都是好事情，如growth, learning, communication等。三、刻意累赘（1）不必要的套话（错误程度：五星）例6：I strongly approve of the policy.There are severa
14、l reasons accounting for my supporting such a good policy.修改：I strongly approve of the policy for the following reasons.分析：我们可以说Several factors accountfor the problem.但是如果前面还有主题句开场，不如合并在一起。类似的还有：There is no doubt that，这个要替换成without doubt或undoubtedlyEvery coin has two sides.替换为：The other side of the
15、coin cannot be ignored.(2)意思的重复（错误程度：五星）例7：On theway to academic success, there are not only ups and downs, gains andlosses, joys and sorrows, but also thorns and toils,obstacles and setbacks, pains and healing, tears and failures.修改：The way to academic success is paved with thorns and roses.分析：这个句子
16、看起来很美，但是归根是受汉语的影响，英语中也有排比，但这种排比应该是用不同的方面表达一个内容。本句中，losses，sorrows，thorns and toils，obstacles and setbacks，pains，tears指的都是“挫折，失败“。其实，还有很多学生是把一个句子的意思翻来覆去地说，英语讲的是一句话说清楚问题，不能兜圈子玩。（3）“使”的臃肿（错误程度：五星）例8：To begin with, as young people,they are curious about everything around them, making them easy to get addictedto drugs.修改：Tobegin with, young peo
