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1、Book 3 Unit 1 Personality The Misery of Shyness Shyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many people All kinds of people describe themselves as shy short tall dull intelligent young old slim overweight Shy people are anxious and self conscious that is they are excessively concerned with
2、their own appearance and actions Worrisome thoughts are constantly swirling in their minds What kind of impression am I making Do they like me Do I sound stupid I m ugly I m wearing unattractive clothes It is obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adversely A person s self conce
3、pt is reflected in the way he or she behaves and the way a person behaves affects other people s reactions In general the way people think about themselves has a profound effect on all areas of their lives For instance people who have a positive sense of self worth or high self esteem usually act wi
4、th confidence Because they have self assurance they do not need constant praise and encouragement from others to feel good about themselves Self confident people participate in life enthusiastically and spontaneously They are not affected by what others think they should do People with high self est
5、eem are not hurt by criticism they do not regard criticism as a personal attack Instead they view a criticism as a suggestion for improvement In contrast shy people having low self esteem are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others They need reassurance that they are doing the right thi
6、ng Shy people are very sensitive to criticism they feel it confirms their inferiority They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments because they believe they are unworthy of praise A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one You re just saying that to make me f
7、eel good I know it s not true It is clear that while self awareness is a healthy quality overdoing it is detrimental or harmful Can shyness be completely eliminated or at least reduced Fortunately people can overcome shyness with determined and patient effort in building self confidence Since shynes
8、s goes hand in hand with lack of self esteem it is important for people to accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths For example most people would like to be A students in every subject It is not fair for them to label themselves as inferior because they have difficulty in some areas People
9、 s expectations of themselves must be realistic Dwelling on the impossible leads to a sense of inadequacy and even feelings of envy or jealousy We are self destructive when we envy a student who gets better grades If you are shy here are some specific helpful steps toward building self confidence an
10、d overcoming shyness 1 Recognize your personal strengths and weaknesses Everyone has both As self acceptance grows shyness naturally diminishes 2 Set reasonable goals For example you may be timid about being with a group of strangers at a party Don t feel that you must converse with everyone Concent
11、rate on talking to only one or two people You will feel more comfortable 3 Guilt and shame are destructive feelings Don t waste time and energy on them Suppose you have hurt someone s feelings Feeling ashamed accomplishes nothing Instead accept the fact that you have made a mistake and make up your
12、mind to be more sensitive in the future 4 There are numerous approaches to all issues Few opinions are completely right or wrong Don t be afraid to speak up and give your point of view 5 Do not make negative comments about yourself This is a form of self rejection Avoid describing yourself as stupid
13、 ugly a failure Accent the positive 6 Accept criticism thoughtfully Do not interpret it as a personal attack If for example a friend complains about your cooking accept it as a comment on your cooking not yourself Be assured that you are still good friends but perhaps your cooking could improve 7 Re
14、member that everyone experiences some failures and disappointments Profit from them as learning experiences Very often a disappointment becomes a turning point for a wonderful experience to come along For instance you may be rejected by the college of your choice However at the college you actually
15、attend you may find a quality of education beyond what you had expected 8 Do not associate with people who make you feel inadequate Try to change their attitude or yours or remove yourself from that relationship People who hurt you do not have your best interests at heart 9 Set aside time to relax e
16、njoy hobbies and re evaluate your goals regularly Time spent this way helps you learn more about yourself 10 Practice being in social situations Don t isolate yourself from people Try making one acquaintance at a time eventually you will circulate in large groups with skill and self assurance Each one of us is a unique valuable individual We are interesting in our own personal ways The better we understand ourselves the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential Let s not allow shyness t
