《安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2020届高考英语 考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作外教旁批写作 (9)》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2020届高考英语 考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作外教旁批写作 (9)（3页珍藏版）》请在金锄头文库上搜索。
1、安徽省巢湖市春晖中学2020届高考英语考前冲刺精品讲义外教旁批写作（十）阅读下面两则短讯，谈谈你对网吧(Internet Bar)现象的看法。(不必把短讯译成英文。)北京市关闭了许多网吧，但仍有学生周末一早乘车去郊区上网。辽宁省锦州市6 000余名学生举行集体签名仪式，保证远离网吧。学生习作外教批改The news tells us improver1 that the increasing use of Internet Bars will obviously do harm to people，especially to the students who still dont have s
2、trict selfdiscipline over_themselves.2Most students go to Internet Bars to play video games，which costs3 takes much of their precious time.Some students even stay in Internet Bars day and night，forgetting their academic_study studies.No doubt these students will finally end up with their otherwise b
3、right future destroyed.Furthermore，4 some students log in5 onto some pornographic websites accidentally，but6 and are eventually absorbed in the excitement of reading erotic stories or viewing dirty video clips.All these are harmful to the7 teenagers and if this is not curbed or the use of the Intern
4、et is not properly guided，8 some of them will commit crimes or_to_satisfy_their_curiosity.In_my_opinion，9 students should use go to Internet Bars under the guidance of their parents and teachers.Only in this way can Internet Bars do_students_more_good_than_harm.10 truly benefit students.旁批1没有improve
5、r这个单词。不清楚作者在这里想说什么。参见改写后的句子。2没有必要，因为selfdiscipline意味着他们对自己的控制能力。3表示“花时间”用take time，而不是cost time。4这个连接词用得好！5正确的用法是log onto而不是log in。6上下文不是转折关系。7复数名词表泛指时不加冠词。8原文不合情理：对色情的沉迷怎么能加以引导呢？只能说对因特网的使用加以引导。9这个连接短语用得好！10在英语里很少见到这样的表达。常用的表达方式是：more harm than good。这是一篇优秀作文，错误较少。作文词汇量很大(如：absorbed，erotic)，句子结构富于变化，
6、并采用了正确的文体。另外，本文论点鲜明，论证有力，读起来十分流畅。请注意标注的常见错误(如：but和and的混淆及泛指时误用了the)，确定自己明白错误的原因。高分作文秘诀之四：正确使用形容词和副词。例如：Instead of (不要说：)He very likes playing computer games.Use (要说：)He likes playing computer games very much.Instead of (不要说：)You cant imagine how wonderful she sings.Use (要说：)You cant imagine how wond
7、erfully she sings.Instead of (不要说：)The roads became smooth because of the rain in the morning.Use (要说：)The roads became slippery because of the rain in the morning.Instead of (不要说：)The tea tastes a bit strangely.Use (要说：)The tea tastes a bit strange.仿真写作最近，你校要求所有学生到校午休，同学们对此看法不一。请你根据下列要点写一篇100词左右的短文
8、，客观地反映同学们的观点。观点一：同意(70%)理由：在校时间更长，可以多做一些功课；便于统一管理学生到校的时间。观点二：反对(30%)理由：在教室里休息对健康不利；不如在家安静；身体得不到完全放松，休息不充分。_参考范文：Recently，our school requires that every student should come to school for a nap after lunch.About seventy percent of the students are in favour of the idea，because they think that for one
9、thing，the school can keep the students arrival at school under control，and as for students，they can stay at school a bit longer so that they have more time to do their lessons.However，the rest of the students disagree.In their opinion，having a nap at school does harm to their health and it is not as quiet as in their own bedrooms.Whats more，they cant be so relaxed at their desks as to have a good rest.
