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1、Part 4 Writing 写作技巧 点拨 书面表达 训练 写作技巧 点拨 作文实例 仔细观察下面图表 根据要求 以 Health Changes in Developing Countries 为题 写一篇100词左右的短文 1 以下图表为依据描述发展中国家的预期寿命 life expectancy 和 婴儿死亡率 infant mortality rate 的变化情况 2 说明引起变化的各种原因 如生活条件的改善 医学的进步 环境 保护的认识等 题目研读 1 开门见山 点明主题 开门见山地点明本图表所反映的主题 可以点明图表所反映的主题 或问卷 民意调查的结果 也可以点明要展开阐述的话题
2、 2 呈现数据 分析原因 呈现调查所得数据 结果 阐明必要的理由或原因 分析数据间的主 要差异及趋势 然后描写 在描写数据间变化及总趋势特征时 可采用分 类式或对比式以支持主题 并阐述必要的理由 要注意改换叙述的方 式 使用不同的词语及句式 3 归纳总结或发表评论 如果这篇文章讲的是一个令人担忧的问题 那么最后一段写解决办 法的可能性最大 如果这篇文章讲的是一个好的变化 那么最后一段很 可能是两种情况 可能写负面的影响或存在的问题 也可能写未来的 趋势或发展方向 此外 写作时还要注意 1 图表和数据内容不必全部描述 善于抓 住总的规律 趋势 归纳增减率 过去特定的时间用过去时 经常出现的 情况
3、或自己的评述用一般现在时 2 切忌写成 填表题 一对一直 译 句式单一 遗漏 间接要点 应巧妙组合信息 要点信息 1 如表格所述 as is described in the chart 2 发生变化 changes have taken place 3 婴儿死亡率从 下降到 the infant mortality rate dropped from to 4 生活条件 living conditions 5 医疗保健 medical care 6 意识到 be aware of 7 环境保护 environmental protection 连词成句 1 正如图表中所描述的 在发展中国家预
4、期寿命发生了很大变化 is described in the chart in developing countries great changes in life expectancy As havetakenplace 2 1960年的预期寿命为40岁左右 而2014年的预期寿命增长到70岁左右 The life expectancy in 1960 was about 40 years old it about 70 years old in 2014 while increasedto 一句多译 现在发展中国家比以前更加关注环境保护 1 Developing countries are
5、 now better aware of environmental protection than before 2 Developing countries now care about environmental protection more than before 3 Developing countries now pay more attention to environmental protection than before 4 Developing countries now focus their eyes on environmental protection more
6、 than before 思考 你认为哪种表达形式最好 你的表达形式 连句成篇 Health Changes in Developing Countries As is described in the chart in developing countries great changes have taken place in life expectancy and the infant mortality rate between 1960 and 2014 The life expectancy in 1960 was about 40 years old while it increa
7、sed to about 70 years old in 2014 At the same time the infant mortality rate dropped from 200 per 1 000 births in 1960 to 100 per 1 000 births in 2014 There are many reasons for the changes I think First people s living conditions have improved so it is natural that they live longer than before Seco
8、nd thanks to the development in science and medicine people are receiving better medical care than they used to Third developing countries are now better aware of environmental protection than before and they take more measures to solve the problem which also does good to us In short people s health
9、 condition in developing countries is becoming better and better 范文点评 本文表述条理清晰 内容完整 符合图表式作文的写作要求 是一篇 高水平的习作 as引导的定语从句以及并列连词while的使用 体现了较强的语言运 用能力 高级句型与过渡性衔接词 如 First Second Third 的运用增加 了文章的亮点 比较级的多次出现也是本篇的一大亮点 如今肥胖已经成为危害人们健康的严重问题 中小学生的肥胖趋势 更为明显 你们班对此展开讨论 根据不同的观点 写一篇100词左右 的短文 1 肥胖危害健康 应该节食 锻炼 预防肥胖 已
10、经超重的 应该采 取措施减肥 2 中学生长身体的时候 减肥会影响身体发育 也会影响学习 因此 应该顺其自然 3 作文开头已给出 提示词汇 肥胖 fatness 书面表达 训练 Fatness is one of the serious problems which have a bad effect on our health One possible version Fatness is one of the serious problems which have a bad effect on our health At present the situation with teenage
11、rs is even worse These days a discussion is being carried out in our class as to whether the students with weight problem should lose weight Some students think fatness does harm to our health so it is necessary to be on a diet and take suitable exercise to prevent it Those who are overweight should
12、 take measures to lose weight to be healthy But others have a different opinion They say losing weight will be bad for teenagers during their growth In my opinion we middle school students should not pay too much attention to our weight But if we are getting too fat We should take more exercise and not eat junk food
