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1、目 录第21集2第22集18第23、24集34第21集So,hows living alone?You know,its interesting.When I first moved into mynew apartment,I was nervous.For the first time in my adultlife,I didnt have a roommate.But then it hit me:for the first time in my adultlife,I didnt have a roommate!If I want to walk aroundnaked,nobody
2、 cares.If I want to leave the laundry basket in themiddle of the living room,nobody stops me.If I bring home soup from the deli and leaveit in the fridge for two days,nobody eats it.And if I do something colossallystupid,nobody ever has to know.People make fun of the guy whostays home every night do
3、ing nothing.But the truth is. that guys a genius.Because lets be honest,sitting around watching TV,drinkingbeer and eating ribs aloneis what every red-blooded Americanwould rather be doing at all times.Yeah,but wouldnt it be betterto have someone to share the.I mean,dont you get lonely without.Yeah,
4、that sounds pretty great.Whats the best thing aboutdating a stripper,you ask?Nope. Just asked for your drink order.- Ill tell you the best thing about dating a stripper.- Hell just have a scotch.Getting to say,Hey,Imdating a stripper. And I should go. Timeto make the doughnuts.More like time to make
5、 somedough sitting on some nuts.Shes a stripper. Im dating her.Im dating a stripper. Barneywins. Ill walk you out.- Hey,where are you going?- Quinn needs to get to work. Shes a.I know,a stripper,got it.Hey,taxi!My girlfriends a stripper!So,Ted,guess where werehaving dinner Friday night.Chez LArgent.
6、 I am so excited.Weve been trying foreverto get this reservation.Can you hold on for just onesecond? What the hell are you doing?Nothing. Did you say you had to pee?No. But yeah,I do have to pee.Man,this kid betterbe real freakin cute!What was that all about?Lily had a sex dream last night.Sex dream
7、? Do tell.I was painting the baby furniture.Hurry up,before Marshall gets home.Im sorry,baby. Were you asleep?All pregnant ladieshave crazy sex dreams.Its just her hormones going berserk.So whos responsible for herrapid thigh movement this time?Oh,my favorite was when shebanged George Washington.I l
8、iked the three-way withBill Cosby and Papa Smurf.Oh,he smurfed the smurf out of her.Yes,while The Cossmurfed off in the corner.We all remember. But heres the thing.When Lily has dirty dreams aboutother people,she always tells me.But this time.Sounds like you had a crazydream. What was it about?And t
9、hen her face turned.vermilion.Just. you and me.gettin it on,monogamously.Not the rose quartz ofthe slightly embarrassed,or the tomato red of the mildly abashed,vermilion,the color of carnal shame.Can only mean one thing:Lily dream-banged someone we know.Okay,you caught me vermilion-handed.The truth
10、is,Ive spent the last fiveyears trying to inception your wife.That movie only came out two years ago.What movie?You know who I bet it is? Robin.Already checked.Lily and I paid her a visit at thenew World Wide News headquarters.And Im so excited,because Ive beentrying months to get this reservation.C
11、an you hold on just one second?What the hell are you doing?!Nothing. Nice photo.Your passport must be enormous.You know,for therecord,I didnt want this.Didnt want it,did not approve it.Its super embarrassing.Hey,Merle.So,uh,do you guys want tocome up and see my desk?- Yeah,why not?- Come on.- I.D.?-
12、 Oh. Um,that is me.Maam,with all due respect,yourea wee bit older than that hottie.For God sakes.You know,here I am,onnational TV every day,and still a guy who spends his whole life sittingnext to a giant picture of me has no idea who I am.This isnt my whole life; Im in a band.And were gonna make it
13、.And,kids,they did make it.But Ill get to that later.You know what,Im probablynot going to get to that later.They had one song,itdidnt suck,the end.You always said itwasnt about being famous.You just want to dosolid journalism,right?Yeah,well. Of courseI want to be famous!In Canada,I was Robin Sparkles.I was a cabinhold name.But here?Dont need to see your I.D.,Merle.Everyone knows whoyou are. Youre Merle.He was in one skit inthe Christmas party!Uh,by the way,how is Ted doing?Kids,you remember what happened.
